Six teams entered Week 8 at 5-2. Four (Y2K Bugs, Bladerunners, Resting Romanians, and FU) lost and joined Wide Open Beavers at 5-3. Two (SLAB and The Black Sox) won to move to 6-2. UWSSM are currently in the 8th playoff spot.
Joebob's MiB is still the most defenseless team in the League - giving up 31.6 points per game.
Cals' Wide Open Beavers are the toughest D to crack - allowing 19.4 ppg.
Gary's 12 Angry Men remains as the lone winless team.
The top scoring teams: Romanians (34.5) and UWSSM (33.8)
The lowest scoring teams: Brian (15.1) and 12 Angry Men (16.4)
The League scoring average is: 25.4

SCOUTING TRIP TO THE NET

Commish Wang made his first trip to Network Associates Stadium ("The Net") on Sunday to watch the Dolphins play the Raiders. Here is a summary of what he observed:
Whining part...
F'ing JJJohnson got stopped short of the goalline TWICE (on separate drives), and f'ing Mare missed a FG to result in my 7 point GOTW loss to SLAB!!!
Scouting part...
Gannon: sorry Vesh, but Gannon is no Favre. As a matter of fact, Gannon is no Vince Evans, either!
Huard: when is Marino coming back?
Wheatley and Kaufman: kind of like Alstott and Dunn, but on a lower talent level.
Collins and Johnson: kind of like Wheatley and Kaufman, but with a higher crime rate.
Tim Brown: he's still got it - if only he had a QB who could deliver TD conducive passes.
McDuffie and Martin: kind of like Collins and Johnson, but substitute money laundering for drug possession.
Dudley: if lack of confidence equalled points in RFL, Dudley would be averaging 70 points per game.
Drayton: good for a shot at a TD every 4 or 5 games.

The Rough Division is clearly the strongest division in the League. The Sand Trap Division is a close second.
Enough random babbling... on to WIR #8!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Ferocious Underwear 40
Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits 47

Just as the Eigen's Vector Angle pointed out in last week's WIR, Brodz was able to exploit Wang's weakness in the WR slots. Aside from 2 games where M Irvin scored a few points, Wang has 22 0's in all of the other WR and TE spots. Brodz' cunning pickup of J George in Week 1 is now paying off huge dividends. E George, T Glenn, C Carter, and M Hollis continue to perform at a steady clip. Perhaps SLAB must be considered as the new Steamroller and Aglione frontrunner (over Vesh) at this point.
SCRUB L for Wang (0-2 in scrubbiness) :-(

kwarner 15 mfaulk 12 jjjohnson 3 rmoore 0 bengram 0 dmoore 0 mare 10
jgeorge 6 egeorge 9 alstott 0 tglenn 6 ccarter 15 freddie 0 hollis 11
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Men in Brown 36
Crazed Beagles on the Run 14

Young, whipper-snapper Wally attempted to bring down grizzled veteran Joebob in this showdown at the Intel Corral. Wally even attempted to sneak one past the Commish with some "Didn't I start McNown over Matthews?" hijinks! MiB featured the return of the Johnson-Westbrook duo - and Collins' vulturing of JJJohnson's TD. The Beagles really seem to miss Moulds - and could maybe use a stable QB (like Gannon). Peterson CRUSHED Levens on Monday Night.

johnson 12 tallen 3 collins 6 westbrook 6 mathis 0 drayton 0 peterson 9
matthews 0 levens 3 hoard 0 jsmith 6 boston 0 wycheck 0 anderson 5
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Y2K Bugs 21
brian's bums 33

SHOCKING!!! Tim's Bugs feature the return of FTaylor and the continuation of MHarrison's march towards RFL MVP. But the Bums overcome a 0 from their PK by latching onto 18 from Marcus Robinson and backing into 9 from Couch - after Brian had *tried* to start Dilfer. Brian ("The Spoiler") now owns victories over 2 of the stronger teams in the League - Tim and Kevin. That's why they play the games!

flutie 3 ftaylor 9 karim 0 harrison 8 mccaffrey 0 sloan 0 longwell 1
couch 9 kirby 0 bam 0 dawkins 6 mrobinson 18 glover 0 carney 0
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Wide Open Beavers 19
Bladerunners 9

Cals gets 6 from Crystal Chandelier and a TD from Donnell Bennett (?!?!?) to put things out of reach before Favre took the field to stink it up on Monday Night. Bladerunners received uninspiring performances from pEnis, Rhett, Kennison, and Brady - proving that Favre can't win games playing one against 13... unless he starts hitting the sauce again.
SCRUB W for Cals ("King of All Scrubs" at 3-0)

chandler 6 antowain 0 donnell 6 moss 0 rocket 0 tyrone 0 christie 7
favre 3 enis 0 rhett 0 rod 3 kennison 0 brady 0 vinatieri 3
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't Call It a Comeback 25
Resting Romanians 20

9 points from "Prime Time" Oxendine was the difference as Kevin's DCIAC upset Vesh's Resting Romanians. DCIAC also got nice outings from Peyton and Husted to counter IBruce's TD and Vanderjagt's 14. Vesh had 3 no shows at RB, so Vanderjagt's buddy Van de Velde took a whack at it. The "Peyton" mention above leads me to think of Walter *Payton* - who passed away yesterday. Please observe a moment of silence for Sweetness.

manning 7 oxendine 9 moe 0 thigpen 0 holt 0 gonzalez 0 husted 9
gannon 0 jean X hanspard 0 ibruce 6 tmartin 0 walls 0 vanderjagt 14
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Desai 14
Upper West Side Stomp Mongers 42

The last wheel came off the Team Desai wagon this week - as Keyshawn skipped town and threatened to sit out the rest of the season. Keyshawn demanded a face-to-face with GM Shivan to "air things out." Dylan's RB studs SDavis and Emmitt pounded Shivan's soft running D for 33 points.

elvis 6 watters 3 barber 0 morton 0 pickens 0 santiago 0 blanchard 5
kgraham 3 emmitt 15 sdavis 18 connell 0 muhsin 0 alexander 0 delgreco 6
----------------------------------------------------------------------
12 Angry Men 10
The South Side Black Sox 32

JoePa sat a bunch of McNair and Alexander points in an attempt to give Gary a shot at career win #1, but couldn't contain his youthful RB's - and couldn't overcome 12 Angry Men's punchless 6 non-PK's. We'll have to consult the keeper of RFL records to see if a team has *ever* gone winless. Keep in mind that Vesh missed the Draft in '97, put together a team of free agents, and still won 3 games.

aikman 0 kfaulk 0 murrell 0 mcduffie 0 peerless 0 dudley 0 stynvch 10
greasy 3 ejames 15 ricky 6 toomer 0 dyson 0 riemersma 0 kasay 8
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Enid Furth Harmony 31
Jock Itch United 16

Ali got 12 from JStewart, but the rest of JIU failed to contribute as Stan's EFH won their 3rd in a row. 6 EFH players got onto the scoresheet this week - as Kenny Bynum (who?!?) was shutout by the Chiefs. For JIU... Robert Thomas proved to be just as productive as the retired Moose Johnston, and Coates threatened to quit the Pats unless they threw him the damn ball.

beuerlein 6 ogary 2 bynum 0 tbrown 3 dmayes 6 chamberlain 6 hanson 8
huard 0 srewart 12 rthomas 0 freeman 0 hilliard 0 coates 0 elam 4
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Eric Zeier ContrOversy:

On Wednesday 10/27, Clark put in a call for Eric Zeier - the not-so-new signal caller for that vaunted offensive machine in the *other* Bay. After awarding Zeier to the Bladerunner franchise, I received an email from substitute commish Gary (whose tenure had by then expired) telling me that Joebob had sent an email to him on Tuesday in an attempt to acquire Zeier - after the dibs deadline.

Without even considering the shady nature of these phantom emails, I rejected Joebob's claim to Zeier. Before I left on my business trip, I informed everyone that all transactions and depth charts should be communicated to Gary AND me during my absence. In fact... Joebob's claim regarding Zeier occured *after* i had resumed being Commish.

If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one there to hear it... the tree does NOT make a sound.

If an RFL GM attempts to make a transaction without contacting the Commish, the transaction does not exist in the RFL world.

*********************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Joe Parker, GM, The South Side Black Sox
*********************************************************

Joe Parker, GM of The South Side Black Sox, joined RFL in 1997. The Blackhearts of '97 started 4-3, but then lost 10 straight games. In '98 JoePa's Black Phoenix finished the season 10-7 and won the Consolation Bowl (5th place).
Joe met Commish Wang in Cambridge in the Fall of '85. Joe does not distinctly remember meeting Gary, and Joe has not had the pleasure of meeting any of the other RFL GM's.
A picture of JoePa can be accessed from the RFL Franchise Owners page

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: You have a history of being *extremely* pro-players (and anti-management). Now that you *are* a GM, what is your stance on management?

Joe Parker: I am still very anti-NORMAL-management. With the Black Sox organIzation, I have instituted a new management style. Ask any player currently in the organIzation - or any player who has passed through. They will tell you about just how well we take care of them.

RFL: Please tell us about your "new" management policies.

JP: One primary principle is our "Play to Win - Win for Pay" *team* policy. Every game the Black Sox win, *each* player gets $250k. It doesn't matter if you run for 200 yards or drop a few passes thrown to you. If you are a member of the TEAM, you will get your $ when the team wins. At the end of the season, we make every last cent of our annual profits available to the players to distribute as they see fit. This is when the high achievers can get a little "recognition."

RFL: How much do the players receive when the team loses?

JP: Each player gets paid $50k after a loss. As you can see from our start this year, we are writing many more $250k checks than $50k ones! We feel that the $200k difference between a W and a L is a pretty good incentive - but we also provide each player with a considerable amount of stock options in the Company. The players who produce and stick around will *really* be taken care of. We firmly believe in giving each player a piece of the "action."

RFL: Some of your new-age management policies are being investigated by the Commissioner's Office. What are your thoughts on this investigation?

JP: Well... many of my fellow honourable GM's have gone on record babbling about the "Golden Age of Wang." To be blunt, this ass-kissing makes me want to put a beat-down on my kitten! I was there in '85 when Wang came to Boston - fresh out of HS. I'll admit that he was a good and principled person then, but I then witnessed his complete descent into pure evil! This "investigation" into my organIzation's management practices is just another example of evil keeping a good man down!

RFL: You say that Commish Wang became pure evil during his stay in Boston, but did he not turn things around before leaving for Michigan?

JP: Apparently Wang duped those gullible Midwesterners into putting him on Michigan's Engineering Honor Council. Whereas most of those people *thought* Wang was devoting himself to the upholding of Michigan's Honor Code, *I* think he was just looking for a way to exact REVENGE on some poor souls - in return for the way Wang got abused in his early Boston years. Ask Tim or Cals. I think they can support me on this.

RFL: Ok... enough Commish-bashing for one interview! If *you* were to become Commissioner, what changes would you enact?

JP: One rule I would add is the "Diamond in the Rough" rule. This rule would allow a GM to retain a player from one year to the next that he drafted after the 7th round. Therefore... a brilliant pick late in the Draft - such as Dylan's pick of Stephen Davis in round 8 - would mean that a GM would still have that player heading into next year's Draft. This rule would also shorten each Draft by one round - if each GM had a late round pick worth keeping.
Another change I would make would affect the schedule. I prefer for teams to play their division rivals twice each, the other teams in their conference once, and minimize inter-league play. I would also eliminate wildcards from the playoffs. Only the 4 division winners would advance to the playoffs. If a team fails to win their division during the regular season, they don't deserve the opportunity to play in the postseason.

RFL: What is the highlight of your fantasy sports career?

JP: I am the Commissioner of the Baseball Diamond Deli League. Not only do I take great pride in the *many* championships I have won in this world-renowned rotisserie league - but I also relish the opportunity to have my franchise, The Par-curs, soundly thrash Wang's Adidas Superstars year after year.

RFL: What is your favorite pizza?

JP: Pizzeria Uno's Chicago Classic!

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
61 Peyton Manning (Don't Call It a Comeback)
57 Brad Johnson (Men in Brown)
57 Kurt Warner (Ferocious Underwear)

RB
66 Stephen Davis (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)
57 Marshall Faulk (Ferocious Underwear)
51 Eddie George (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
51 Emmitt Smith (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)
48 Edgerrin James (The South Side Black Sox)
45 Dorsey Levens (Crazed Beagles on the Run)

WR
77 Marvin Harrison (Y2K Bugs)
63 Isaac Bruce (Romanians)
45 Ed McCaffrey (Y2K Bugs)
33 Randy Moss (Wide Open Beavers)
33 Antonio Freeman (Jock Itch United)
33 Terry Glenn (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
33 Cris Carter (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)

TE
36 Wesley Walls (Romanians)
24 Tony Gonzalez (Don't Call It a Comeback)
18 Jay Riemersma (The South Side Black Sox)

PK
68 Mike Hollis (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
59 Adam Vinatieri (Bladerunners)
58 Mike Vanderjagt (Romanians)

be sure to check:
The Season Points Leaders page
...for an expanded list of scoring leaders.

Wally	Advantage	Ali
SMatthews		DHuard
DLevens		JStewart
LHoard		FLane
JSmith		AFreeman
HWard		TOwens
FWycheck		DLaFleur
GAnderson		JElam

The Romanians-Black Sox game would normally be the GOTW, but Vesh has already had 2 GOTW appearances.
The Beagles-JIU game will feature 2 teams on the BUBBLE. The Beagles are currently 11th in the Steamroller standings - JIU is 12th. The winner will rejoin the hunt for a playoff spot. The loser should be taken out of the oven - he's done.
Wally has the decided edge at the RB slots, but Ali has an equally strong advantage in the WR's. A key for Wally will be choosing the right QB between Matthews and McNown. Marino should still be out for Ali, so Huard is the void replacement.
These teams appear to be in a dead heat. This game could be decided by the benches, and neither team has much scoring potential to spare for their respective backup squads.

**** The bottom line: Tie ****

©1999-2000 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: September 25, 2000