Tim's Y2K Bugs became the sole 5-1 team by beating Gary's 12 Angry Men. Clark's Bladerunners and JoePa's Black Sox lost (to Brodz' SLAB and Wally's Beagles) to fall into a group of 7 teams at 4-2.
The Rapacious Romanians are now the most offensive team in the League - overtaking UWSSM 225 to 216.
Joebob's MiB is the most defenseless team in the League - giving up 37.8 points per game. Joebob would have been well-advised to have picked the JAX defense with his #1 pick instead of Terrell Davis.
Stan's Enid Furth Harmony finally broke into the win column with a 52-7 annihilation of Joebob's MiB. Gary's 12 Angry Men is now the lone winless team.
The top scoring teams: Romanians (37.5) and UWSSM (36.0)
The lowest scoring teams: Brian (13.2) and 12 Angry Men (17.3)
The League scoring average is: 25.4

10 YEARS AGO ON TRADING DEADLINE DAY

Last Wednesday marked the 10-year anniversary of arguably the biggest trade in NFL history. As a Cowboy fan, I was sad to see Herschel go. But as an impartial observer, I thought the trade would work out well for both teams. Dallas needed to reload - and trading Herschel (no doubt the only piece of talent on the whole roster) for ALL THOSE PICKS certainly would speed up the process. The Vikings were a solid club that *seemingly* only needed a stud to carry the rock for Super Bowl glory. But then something went awry. The Cowboys rebuilt quite nicely, but the Vikes didn't win a Super Bowl! So let that be a lesson to you RFL GM's... before pulling the trigger on a big trade, make sure that the incoming players will fit into your system!
Each division went 2-2 against their opposing division this week. The Garciaparra and Daubach divisions are leading the way with 14 wins each.
Enough random babbling... on to WIR #6!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Rapacious Romanians 55
Upper West Side Stomp Mongers 24

Vesh's Rapacious Romanians respond remarkably in the spotlight of the GOTW once again (the Romanians also knocked off an unbeaten SLAB squad in Week 3), as all 7 starters score against Dylan's Stomped Mongers. The Bus led the way with 15, and Wesley Walls continued his scoring streak (at least 1 TD in every Panther game this season). Vesh also benefitted from backing into 15 points from Pederson and Martin - as intended starters Hobert and Conway did not play. Stephen Davis was the biggest goat on the UWSSM side. After putting up 2 21's in weeks 2 and 3, Davis came up empty this week - as 12 Angry Men reserve Skip Hicks scored!
SCRUB L for Dylan (0-3 in scrub games). UWSSM would be 6-0 w/o the scrub losses!!!

pederson 6 cmartin 3 bettis 15 ibruce 6 tmartin 9 walls 6 vanderjagt 10
bledsoe 3 emmitt 6 sdavis 0 connell 3 muhsin 6 mcgee 0 delgreco 6
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Men in Brown 7
Enid Furth Harmony 52

USC-UCLA, Texas-Texas A&M, JMU-GWU, Stan-Joebob... all rivalries knee-deep in steeped tradition. Stan's EFH broke out the whuppin' stick (AND a dozen cans of whoopass) as MiB rolled over for EFH's first victory of the season. Stan, the defending Aglione Bowl champion (despite what Josh "Al Haig" Veshia says), got stellar outings from Beuerlein, Olandis (the latest stud RB for Denver from the U of GA), and Hanson. As my scouting trip to 3Com on Sunday revealed, Stan knew to START ALL YOUR QB'S AND WR'S PLAYING AGAINST SF!!! Stan wisely benched Brunell in favor of Beuerlein. Joebob's Inflated Head Syndrome (2nd to Vesh's in the most recent AP poll) suffered a severe blow - as his collection of mirrors and duct tape seems to be falling apart.

johnson 3 tallen 0 collins 0 westbrook 0 herman 0 pollard 0 peterson 4
beuerlein 15 robsmith 0 ogary 12 tbrown 0 simmons 6 gclark 0 hanson 19
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Y2K Bugs 22
12 Angry Men 13

Had Gary started Aikman and Hicks instead of Cunningham and Hanspard, 12 Angry Men would have only lost by 3! But Aikman's and Hicks' 6 points were wasted on the bench - as Gary's club falls by 9 points and drops to 0-6. Tim survived MHarrison's first 0 (and yet another 0 for FTaylor) and won on the strength of McCaffrey's 15. Tim is hoping that his Bugs don't strike my computer and wipe out all records of this season - resulting in a complete "do over."

flutie 3 linton 0 phillips 0 harrison 0 mccaffrey 15 sloan 0 longwell 4
cunningham 0 hanspard 0 murrell 0 rice 6 mcduffie 0 dudley 0 andersen 7
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Wide Open Beavers 20
Team Desai 10

Team Desai dips below 17 points for the first time this season (after posting their season high of 24 last week) and fell to a Beaver team more focused on foisting their logo from Oregon State than producing between the white lines. Antowain held off Linton one more week by running over that lame Raider DB. Moss might be on the verge of busting out now that George will be zipping the long bombs to him. Shiv-man's PK carousel and the questionable benching of Pickens behind Morton appear to have Team Desai's players calling for the return of "Steady Hand" Snehal as GM.
SCRUB W for Cals (2-0 in scrub games).

garcia 3 antowain 6 kaufman 0 moss 9 rocket 0 tyrone 0 christie 2 kordell 0 watters 0 garner 3 keyshawn 0 morton 0 santiago 0 hall 7
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't Call It a Comeback 20
Ferocious Underwear 29

I can't write anything about Gary Brown's posterior ailment anymore, but selling my soul for this "W" was a must. Kevin's DCIAC is now in a 2-game tailspin - stemming from the loss in Clark in Week 5's GOTW. Manning and Warner canceled each other out, Richey matched Husted and Chamberlain, and Marshall outpointed Natrone. Wang picked the wrong PK again (Mare outscored Richey 19-11).

manning 3 means 6 gbrown 0 edwards 0 holt 0 chamberlain 3 husted 8
kwarner 3 mfaulk 15 biakabutt 0 jreed 0 jjett 0 drayton 0 richey 11
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bladerunners 23
Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits 37

Just as Clark self-professed his disbelief at his team's 4-1 record, Brodz' SLAB took them down to 4-2. Kyle Brady actually scored 8 for the 'Runners... but Favre, pEnis, and the WR corps obviously were shaken by the lack of faith from the front office. Brodz got a strong performance from Tyrone - and quality support from Hollis, Eddie, and Cris Cros.
SCRUB L for Clark (2-1 in scrub contests).

favre 0 dillon 3 enis 0 rod 0 dedric 0 brady 8 vinatieri 12
batch 0 egeorge 6 wheatley 15 tglenn 0 ccarter 6 freddie 0 hollis 10
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazed Beagles on the Run 26
The South Side Black Sox 19

Wally's staunch defense (only 1 total point behind Scoring Defense leader Cals) held Toomer and Opie Cunningham to 4 points on Monday Night to take this game by 7. The Beagles got a Damien from Levens, Hoard, and Moulds - while Ricky Williams is still pointless. O'Donnell is now #8 in the QB season point totals - despite only playing in 4 games.

mcnown 3 levens 6 hoard 6 moulds 6 jsmith 0 wycheck 0 anderson 5
o'donnell 6 ejames 3 ricky 0 dyson 6 toomer 0 riemersma 0 opie 4
----------------------------------------------------------------------
brian's bums 10
Jock Itch United 13

After making wholesale changes to improve his roster, Brian *still* tried to undermine his team's showing by attempting to start 2 RB's on a bye week. Schlesinger stepped into the breach with 0 touches. And after Zereoue ran off to find his gin and juice, Pedro Martinez got Schlesinger's back. Ali also tried to start a RB on a bye, but Fred Lane stepped up to the plate. JIU QB Marino's performance was worthy of negative points, but according to this year's rules... marino got a 0, and JIU notched their 3rd W of the season.
SCRUB W for Ali (2-0 in scrub decisions).

couch 3 schlesinger 0 pedro X mccardell 0 dawkins 0 glover 0 carney 7
marino 0 stewart 6 lane 0 freeman 0 hilliard 0 coates 0 elam 7
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Shane Matthews ContrOversy:

Wally really seems to have poked the wasps' nest with this one! I understand Wally's point about how RFL GM's are somewhat "pressured" into drafting RB's in the 1st 2 rounds, but I do not agree with his assertion that the fix would be to double the points awarded for a TD pass.
Note the following:

QB: 16 RFL starters, 31 NFL starters. 35 on RFL rosters.*
RB: 32 RFL starters, 31 NFL producers. 58 on RFL rosters.
WR: 32 RFL starters, 62 NFL producers. 56 on RFL rosters.
TE: 16 RFL starters, 31 NFL producers. 20 on RFL rosters.
PK: 16 RFL starters, 31 NFL producers. 23 on RFL rosters.

* # on rosters were as of WIR writing time.

The RFL starters vs NFL producers numbers *clearly* show that there is *ONE* number seriously out of whack... RFL forces its franchises to dig too deeply into the RB "talent" pool.
So... my suggestion (and Kevin's former suggestion) to allow GM's to declare each week whether they want to start 2 RB's and 2 WR's *OR* 1 RB and 3 WR's would appear to alleviate this problem a little.
There are quite a few "C-" WR's (Jermaine Lewis, Frank Sanders, Reidel Anthony, ...) now available, while several "F" RB's (Barry Sanders, Derek Loville, Tommy Vardell, ...) are being carried on our rosters.

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Patrick Callery, GM, Wide Open Beavers
*************************************************

Patrick Callery, GM of Wide Open Beavers, is the founder and former Commish of the League we all love, RFL. Througout his courageous leadership, we have seen RFL grow from a $5/team entry fee into the multi-billion dollar industry that we are all fueling today. Patrick has enjoyed both a great deal of success in his early years, followed by some recent tough times as age starts to catch up on him. Has RFL passed him by?? Sure the success of such kids as Shivan "The Destroyer" Desai and Wally "Wally Means 'Loser' in Australia" Grayeski seem to point in that direction. Can anyone deny the new standard created when Dave Wang took over the reigns of the League? But at the same time, where would we all be without the direction of this great leader? How can we forget this wonderful world which he has opened our eyes to. Sure he came from humble beginnings - an orphaned caddie boy raised on the links of Minnesota. But look at him now - on the verge of being married, Grizzly Adams extraordinaire, and the best technician that HP has to offer! This interview was an attempt to cut through all the glitz and glory of Cals' life so we could all see the real person inside.

Gentlemen - I give you Cals:

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: Speculation has been rampant that there is a direct correlation between your discovering love and the mediocre performance of your RFL squads over the past couple of years. Is there any truth to this correlation? And if not, what has caused this plunge from a perennial playoff team that was marked on everyone's calendar - to a team that is feared only by Brian's squad?

Patrick Callery: (chuckling) The RFL gods work in mysterious ways. Seriously, it remains to be seen whether there is enough direct evidence to support such a hypothesis. It will be difficult to determine, the main reason being lack of empirical data to set any precedent. First of all, RFL GMs in general are not particularly heralded for their exploits in the world of romance. Secondly, any GM's who may have experienced similar palpitations of love simply do not have the storied success of my glorious franchises from which to take such a similar fall. Who else has 3 Steamrollers and 3 Aglione Bowl titles? Most GM's, barring of course myself, would consider a 3rd place finish out of 16 teams (i.e., last year's Tres BN) a stunning success, while you have indeed confirmed that such a result may be construed as mediocre, considering the level of expectations set by my past performance.

RFL: C'mon Cals, you can't expect us to believe that you really feel that you're performing at that same high level? Well, let's get down to the nitty gritty - is the fact that you have not won any RFL prize money in the past couple of years the reason that there will not be an open bar at your wedding?

PC: (exuding scholarly wisdom) My extensive research into Chinese wedding customs has revealed a most honored tradition of no open bar. It would be unwise to neglect these considerations when planning a cross-cultural event such as this.

RFL: Now, being a neighbor of yours, I know that the wedding planning has taken up quite a bit of your free time over the past few months. Do you feel as if you've come into this season a little less prepared than in the past?

PC: Yes, I admit I am less prepared, but I refuse to blame that fact on the arcane notion that I cannot juggle RFL and a marriage. You all are probably aware that past GM's like Dr. Andrew Wagner, urologist, and Mr. Lance Harry have fizzled and disappeared from the RFL scene upon embarking on married life. I assure you I am steeped enough in RFL tradition that I will have little trouble incorporating it into a lifetime of personal and familial fulfillment.

RFL: How does if feel to no longer be RFL commish? Relief? Or do you miss the dictatorial control?

PC: (staring into the distance) I miss the power and authority, there's no doubt about it. Everyone should experience this unquestioned dominance at least once in life. (returning to face interviewer, abrupt change of expression and tone) I will say that those ungrateful bastards just don't realize how good they had it while sheltered from the cruel fantasy football world by my omnipotent protective hand.

RFL: (Interviewer looking incredulous) Sheltered?? Now, with Mr. Wang at the helm, I think all of us feel a bit more secure about the future of the league. Speaking about Wang, there's been a lot of talk about the Golden Age of Wang. Since he's taken over we've seen a lot of changes in 3 months that we never saw in 9 years under you (RFL website, consistent updates that are on-time, SONY sponsored draft, no Commish complaining about time, etc). Do you feel that you're getting a bum wrap, and that Dave Wang is just a product of fortunate timing? Or, is he truly a better Commish than you were?

PC: Dave Wang has done an outstanding job as Commissioner. We haven't always seen eye to eye on a number of issues, but I am confident he has the skills and tenacity to pull this off. Whether he can maintain such enthusiasm for the next 9 years will have to be seen. Ask me that question again in 2008.

RFL: Seeing the success we have been having in our weekend football games running the same Wilding offense, would you say that there is a strong possibility that there will be a Wilding reunion tour in the near future that would play a select NFL traveling squad in all major cities?

PC: I have received offers from numerous organizations attempting to capitalize on the lucrative Wilding merchandising opportunities that would be afforded by our resurgence to the national limelight. However, for me, it's not about the money.... I just enjoy the satisfaction, as I'm sure you do, of executing a flawless all-left-joe-slant for an automatic 6. Clark wouldn't know what I'm talking about since he doesn't know how to run this play with success, let alone panache... (stops, backs up) As for the tour, we'll just have to see if we can dig the rest of the team out of their respective gutters long enough to remember the thrill of lopsided victory.

RFL: (Chuckling) I hear you! Nothing more frustrating than an inept offense when you're accustomed to such a high octane offense! Z-bombs, all-lefts, I could go on and on!
When this interviewer first moved out to CA, there was nary a Monday night football game that went by without a BBQ complete with cheap wine, hummus, turkey burgers, and sierras. These have come to a halting stop bringing up the question - Now that you are living with your fiancee and her parents (whom you cannot communicate with), are you let out of the house at all? or has your freedom been severely hampered from what you were used to at BU?

PC: Yeah those were the good old da.... wait a minute, I'm sensing some bitterness here. I had hoped the interview wouldn't have devolved into this charade of cynicism and jealousy. Next question!

RFL: OK, OK. Wow, sensitive in your new age!
Speaking about your fiancee's parents, have they physically or emotionally hurt you in any way during their stay. It is not uncommon for parents to hold some anger towards the boy who steals their only daughter away.

PC: It's only natural for parents of an only child to be skeptical about meeting the man who threatens to relieve them of their daughter's dependence. However, you can imagine their joyful surprise when they realized exactly who I am. Needless to say, they are ecstatic about the potenitality of having their lineage continue with the addition of my outstanding genetic makeup.

RFL: Good point. Is it also true that they are under the belief that you two are already married since you have a marriage license?

PC: No comment. Were you sent by the INS? (twitching nervously) Is this room bugged?

RFL: Hey, this is the stuff that people want to know. That's just a small price for fame.
With a lot of your friends now tying the knot, do you have any plans to get the band, Pennywise and the Dancing Clowns, back together to jump on the lucrative wedding circuit??

PC: I've grown out of that phase of (abhoring the cliche he is about to deploy) sex, drugs and rock n roll. Besides, right now my mind is too set on the pursuit of my latest addiction: Love, physical & spiritual health, and uncompromising integrity.

RFL: OK, that's a safe answer for Patrick. Now what does Cals have to say? Don't worry, you don't have to answer that.
What is your biggest regret during your time as RFL Commish?

PC: Not taking full advantage of the hordes of RFL groupies.

RFL: True, the RFL groupies were aplenty in our hey-day back in the early 90's. We all know the wandering ways of Cals back in the early 90's. I mean, we're talking feats of legendary proportions!! Do you expect us to believe that you'll be able to resist all the temptations that we high profile GM's face just because you're married?

PC: (whispers) Shhhhhh.... the wife is in the other room! (opening up...) But both you and she will be happy to know that those days of The Player are long over. I am a family man now. But let's just say my stepping down as Commish wasn't completely due to RFL burnout.

RFL: These trips to Puerto Rico - Are they really for work? or have you purchased an Island wife for...well..you know, "for a little pre-Christmas loving" (repeat line in fernando's voice)?

PC: As part of the lucrative kickbacks I once received as RFL Commish, I have a lifetime free pass to all Ricky Martin concerts on the island.

RFL: Knowing that you were once heralded as the greatest intramural QB (Cals was intramural sports Athlete of the Century #8 during a recent ESPN poll), how do you feel just getting mop up time at QB during our weekend games? And now, be completely honest, could you start if you wanted to? or has time just passed you by?

PC: Have you seen the movie "The Natural"?? Well think of me as the same guy, only playing football. I was a hotshot prospect coming out of BU, people were comparing me to a combo of Steve Young, Randall Cunningham, and Jamelle Holieway. Anyway, some bad stuff happened and I disappeared for a while, only to come back larger than life at a different position. Yes, if I wanted to play QB, I could knock the socks out of any D you threw at me out there. I am just looking to make the games more competitive.

RFL: With your upcoming marriage, can we expect to see little Cals' running around pretty soon? I think the league is ready for the 2nd generation of GM's.

PC: Unfortunately we have already experienced the 2nd generation of RFL GM's. Maybe by the time RFL's current boy blunder grows up, the League will be ready for Cals Jr. to put a new face on RFL dominance. However, if Cals Jr is a girl, we will likely have to revisit our historic gender barrier issues before the whoop-ass can start. Give me a few years on this one.

RFL: Let's finish up this interview with a less serious question - In the upcoming Boston vs. CA football game on the eve of your wedding, what is your predicted score?

PC: That depends on where my allegiance falls. Naturally whomever I am playing with will humiliate the other squad. Of course I am inclined to go with the Wilding, but please realize that some Boston GM's (you know who you are) were not affiliated with the Wilding for obvious reasons (got no game). If we can keep them on the sidelines shuttling in towels and water, then I'm sure we'll have no problem dispatching CA with ease.

RFL: Good point on the less athletic GM's. Let's rephrase that battle as CA vs Wilding. An obvious blowout.

This concludes our interview with this legendary (almost mythical) hero of RFL. The RFL editing staff would like to thank Mr. Callery for his honesty as well as his patience with the questions. This interviewer has been known to break down even the toughest of interviewees (i.e., Air Britt, Jim Everett, my parents, etc).

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
48 Peyton Manning (Don't Call It a Comeback)
42 Drew Bledsoe (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)
39 Brad Johnson (Men in Brown)

RB
48 Stephen Davis (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)
42 Eddie George (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
39 Tim Biakabutuka (Ferocious Underwear)
33 Dorsey Levens (Crazed Beagles on the Run)
30 Marshall Faulk (Ferocious Underwear)
30 Emmitt Smith (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)

WR
57 Marvin Harrison (Y2K Bugs)
51 Isaac Bruce (Romanians)
42 Ed McCaffrey (Y2K Bugs)
33 Randy Moss (Wide Open Beavers)
27 Antonio Freeman (Jock Itch United)
27 Curtis Conway (Romanians)
27 Terry Glenn (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)

TE
36 Wesley Walls (Romanians)
12 Jay Riemersma (The South Side Black Sox)
12 Tony Gonzalez (Don't Call It a Comeback)
12 Ricky Dudley (12 Angry Men)

PK
57 Mike Hollis (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
50 Adam Vinatieri (Bladerunners)
44 Steve Christie (Wide Open Beavers)

be sure to check:
The Season Points Leaders page
...for an expanded list of scoring leaders.

Cals	Advantage	Ali
JGarcia		DHuard
ASmith		FLane
NKaufman		PHolmes
RMoss		AFreeman
RIsmail		TOwens
TDavis		BCoates
SChristie		JElam

Wide Open Beavers will be "at full strength" - while Jock Itch United will be missing James Stewart. There are quite a few question marks in this game, so it will be "interesting" to see how this game plays out. Garcia vs Huard? Both backup QB's put up good numbers last week and have good receiving talent around them. Garcia's Niners are going into the Metrodome this Sunday, though.
At the RB slots, it's hard to give Nap Kaufman an advantage over anyone, but Priest probably won't play.
At the WR slots, Moss is going against the Niner DB's... and Owens might be out again.
Ben Coates seems to be mailing it in this year, so Ali basically needs Huard, Freeman, and Elam to win this game for him.

**** Here comes the bride: Wide Open Beavers by 5 ****

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All rights reserved.

Revised: September 25, 2000