Tim's Y2K Bugs, Wally's Crazed Beagles, and JoePa's Black Sox all drop to 3-1 following losses to UWSSM, Team Desai, and Wide Open Beavers - respectively. Kevin's DCIAC is now the Steamroller frontrunner - being the highest scoring 3-1 team. Dylan's UWSSM is the highest scoring team in the League. But at 2-2, UWSSM is a game behind six 3-1 teams.
Gary's 12 Angry Men and Stan's Enid Furth Harmony continue as the lone winless teams.
The top scoring teams: UWSSM (41.5) and DCIAC (34.5)
The lowest scoring teams: Brian (14.5) and EFH (15.3)

METS BACK IN TO PLAYOFFS

True to the bumbling ways of their Sin-ergy Field brethren Cincinnati Bungels, the Reds blew a 2-game lead (with 3 games to go) on the Mets and gagged in the one-game playoff. Rumor has it that Marge Schott is looking to buy the Mets - so that she can move the team to Berlin.
The James Brown Division went 3-1 against the Xashinto Fwong Division - establishing the James Brown Division as the best division in the League. Big surprise... the James Brown Division is made up of the teams drafting 1-4 in the Draft!
Enough random babbling... on to WIR #4!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Y2K Bugs 11
Upper West Side Stomp Mongers 52

Prior to this week, Y2K Bugs and UWSSM were #1 and #2 in scoring, respectively. UWSSM used a balanced attack (only the TE failed to score 6 or more) to put up the highest point total of the season* and eradicate Tim's Bugs. Tim was missing #1 WR MHarrison, and FTaylor still hasn't scored after 4 games. Dylan was led by his 2 Al's (Connell and Del Greco).
*Correction: a scoring correction led to 54 for Ferocious Underwear this week.

flutie 3 ftaylor 0 lphillips 0 dawkins 0 mccaffrey 0 drayton 0 bconway 8
bledsoe 9 sdavis 6 emmitt 6 connell 15 muhsin 6 mcgee 0 delgreco 10
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Men in Brown 47
Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits 31

Michigan-Ohio State, Alabama-Auburn, BU-BC, Brodz-Joebob... all rivalries knee-deep in steeped tradition. Joebob won Aglione Bowl VII over Brodz in a title game never again to be approached. Joebob rolled over Brodz once more in this regular season Clash of Titans - evening the records of both teams at 2-2. The failings of SLAB's Greasy, Alstott, and Cris Carter doomed Brodz against MiB's resurrected dynamic duo of Johnson-to-Westbrook. This duo will have to carry MiB for the rest of the season - as #1 pick Terrell (12 points) Davis has packed it in for the year.
SCRUB LOSS for Brodz' SLAB.

johnson 15 tedavis 6 tallen 6 westbrook 18 mathis 0 egreen 0 gramatica 2
greasy 0 egeorge 9 alstott 0 ccarter 0 tglenn 15 freddie 0 hollis 7
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Wide Open Beavers 41
The South Side Black Sox 17

Don't look now, but Wide Open Beavers have climbed back into contention! After losses to Kevin and Wally in the 1st 2 weeks of the season, Cals has rebounded against Gary and JoePa. Moss finally busted out with a worthy contribution to the team, and Ismail and Mirer provided solid support.
JoePa's Black Sox were dropped from the ranks of the undefeated. Despite a dozen from O'Donnell, the balance of The Sox were sockless.
Tyrone was a bye-week casualty at TE for Cals, so The Brown Hornet filled in.

mirer 6 antowain 0 kaufman 0 moss 15 rocket 9 brownhornet X christie 11
o'donnell 12 ricky 0 cway 0 dalexander 0 dyson 0 riemersma 0 opie 5
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't Call It a Comeback 30
Jock Itch United 22

Kevin's DCIAC improves to 3-1 by putting up another steady 30-point performance. DCIAC got a 2nd consecutive 6-run blast from TE "Juan" Gonzalez and a slick 6 from Peyton's backup - Kitna. Had Kevin not fallen to Brian's Bums in week 2, DCIAC would be 1-up on the League in the race for the Steamroller!
Ali's JIU backed in to a 6 from Ike, but their Monday night comeback fell short as Marino got 3 instead of the 12 they needed.

kitna 6 gbrown 0 means 6 thigpen 9 holt 0 gonzalez 6 husted 3
marino 3 lane 0 vardell 0 hilliard 6 owens 6 coates 0 elam 7
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bladerunners 13
Enid Furth Harmony 9

Clark's Big City Bladerunners scrubbed their way to a very scrubby victory. Clark is now 3-1 - while Stan loses by less than 10 points for the first time. Hanson was EFH's only PK, but Detroit had a bye this week. DysFunkShun JunkShun filled in for Hanson.

gannon 6 dillon 0 enis 0 kennison 0 rod 0 salexander 0 vinatieri 7
brunell 3 robsmith 0 kirby 0 tbrown 6 jlewis 0 gclark 0 unkShun X
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Resurgent Romanians 44
12 Angry Men 23

Bettis has 4 0's this year, and Pederson has 3 0's (following Testaverde's 3 points in Week 1). But the Resurgent Romanians have evened their record at 2-2 - with wins over Brodz and Gary. Vesh got strong showings from his Curti (Martin and Conway). Gary got another good game from Randall Cunningham (and another TD from Dudley), but OJ McDuffie was unable to make up a 27 point deficit on Monday night.

pederson 0 cmartin 9 bettis 0 conway 15 ibruce 6 walls 6 wilkins 8
cunningham 9 bates 0 hanspard 0 rice 0 mcduffie 6 dudley 6 stoyanovich 2
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazed Beagles on the Run 15
Team Desai 21

Despite Kordell's and Pickens' best efforts to drag Team Desai down, GM Shivan managed the biggest upset of Team Desai history. Hoard sat out and looked at that little Garner run for 9 points. Zigaboo Modeliste took Leroy's spot and came up empty. Wally's string of scrubby wins comes to an end - as Team Desai gets the SCRUB WIN in this one.

matthews 6 leshon 0 zigaboo X moulds 6 jsmith 0 wycheck 0 anderson 3
kordell 0 watters 3 garner 9 keyshawn 6 pickens 0 santiago 0 hall 3
----------------------------------------------------------------------
brian 24
Ferocious Underwear 54

Brian's Bums gave a good go of it again this week. Dilfer filled in nicely for Steve Young (it took Young all 3 previous weeks to score 9 points), and McCardell and Glover scored their first points of the season. However... Earth, Wind & Fire had to rotate in and out of the 2 RB spots this week - as Bam and Amos did not play, Schlesinger had a bye, and Milne was released by the Bungels.
Wang finally gave up on Plummer and was rewarded with 12 from Warner. Biakabutuka pulled 24 out of his ass. Anyone want to trade a *real* RB to me for Biakabutuka?!?!?
SCRUB LOSS for Brian. Unlucky.

dilfer 9 earthwindfire XX stokes 0 mccardell 6 glover 6 carney 3
kwarner 12 mfaulk 0 biakabutt 24 irvin 6 fsanders 0 sharpe 0 mare 12
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jason Hanson ContrOversy:

Enid Furth Harmony GM Stan Wilson submitted a depth chart for Week 4 with Jason Hanson as his only PK. The Detroit Li-downs had a bye this week, so EFH was going to be PK-less against Clark's mighty mighty Bladerunners!

On Thursday evening I sent the following message to Clark: "is it ok with you that i 'remind' stan that hanson has a bye this week? or do you want me to keep my mouth shut?"

On Friday morning Clark's noble response was: "Well, if gm's don't pay attention to there[sic] team, shouldn't they be docked points? Maybe so! But I am totally cool if you want to let him know."

"Bye week hand-holder" is *NOT* in the job description for RFL Commissioner, so I could not violate the PRIME DIRECTIVE - and interfere with the outcome of the EFH-Bladerunner contest.

So instead... I sent out a notice implying that 1 or more GM's should "fix" their depth charts. One GM did update his on Saturday. Stan did not. :-(

Dan Marino ContrOversy:

The GM who did update his depth chart on Saturday was Jock Itch United GM Ali. When Ali submitted only a starting lineup for Week 3, Harbaugh (starter) was moved ahead of Marino (bye) in his depth chart. Perhaps some GM's would think that Harbaugh would have a better game against KC than Marino would against BUF, but this WIR Editor would have gone with Marino - and was relieved when Ali emailed the QB "switchback" on Saturday. So, this contrOversy was averted.

I know that most of you guys have more interesting lives than I do... but if it is at all possible, please take a moment to address your RFL squad EACH WEEK, and send in DEPTH CHARTS instead of starting lineups!

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Wally Grayeski, GM, Crazed Beagles on the Run
*************************************************

Wally Grayeski, GM of the infamous Crazed Beagles on the Run, joined RFL for the 1998 season. Despite patching together a mediocre team (at best), the Beagles were able to pull off a string of incredibly scrubby wins en route to a successful 1998 campaign (Aglione Bowl loser). His skyrocketing number of scrub wins - along with his annoying trades and emails - have made him one of the most hated GM's in RFL history. How did this villain even get into the sacred halls of RFL? Well, RFL guru and former Intel star engineer Joseph Pynadath recounts: "In the Fall of 1998, seeing how Walter was struggling at his position at Intel... I offered him a job as my technician. Walter was at a low point in his career - his confidence was shot; his career going nowhere. He really needed a boost. Well, call me a softy... but I said to myself, why not ask him to join RFL? It will do him good. Boy, did I make a mistake!!"

As we begin the 1999 season, the Beagles are back where they left off. Scrub wins, scrub wins, and more scrub wins...

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: Your team has always been one of the most hated teams in the league throughout your RFL career. Why do you think that is?

Walter Grayeski: Joseph, what you call hatred is seen by most as admiration and envy. The competition in the RFL is extremely fierce. That's why I'm here. Its[sic] only natural that tempers are going to flare once in awhile. The bottom line, when you play the Crazed Beagles you now[sic] your[sic] in for a dog fight.

RFL: [Ignoring the response] Could it have anything to do with the fact that week in and week out you are one of the lower scoring teams in the league - yet you manage by sheer luck to pull out wins?

WG: The problem with people like yourself have [?] is that you don't understand what it takes to win in this league. Your[sic] dazzled and blinded by the fireworks. Sure there are going to be those days when a team scores 40 or 60 pts. The key is to be consistent. If we [?] scoring 20 - 30 pts every week, the Beagles will be on there[sic] way to a league championship. Hey, the record speaks for itself.

RFL: You were the first GM ever to have a trade shot down by the Commish (1998 season). Do you feel any remorse for your actions?

WG: That was pure politics. You came to me with an offer, and I accepted. This should have been the end of the story. Pat and Dave both had teams in the playoffs, and somehow the trade was rejected. I'm not saying that Pat was corrupt. I'm just pointing out a very peculiar coincidence. In all fairness *you* were actually the first GM to have a trade shot down by the Commish.

RFL: Nice Try. We all know how you like to try to pin things on other people. Moving right along... knowing that you tarnished the squeaky clean image of RFL, is there any chance that you would voluntarily bow out of the League?

WG: I don't think anyone wants that. While yourself and that Shivan kid/whatever run your mouths off, I come to play. However, the League is getting a little cramped. I wouldn't complain if you jumped off a bridge or something.

RFL: Was bringing your brother into the League in some ways your way of apologizing to the League. I mean, let's face it - as far as sacrificial offerings, having your brother's team to beat up on is great! What a way to say you're sorry to the league. Do you agree?

WG: Well Brian is definitely letting down the family name. This year is obviously a bust, but I think he will learn from these mistakes and improve next year. For example; it's common knowledge that if you draft a QB in the first round, you lose in this league. He won't make that mistake again.

RFL: Is it true that you once coached a soccer team to a WINLESS season? And if so, why do you think you can be successful as an RFL GM?

WG: (laughter) Coaching that soccer team with you was a comity[sic] of errors. What is nice about being the GM of an RFL powerhouse is that your team is not made up of a bunch of crying, overweight ten year-olds. Our teams[sic] sole purpose was to see who could cram down the most tacos in the shortest period of time. Its[sic] clear that when I get older, I will not have to worry about job security. The next generation just isn't going to be able to fit through the door. I feel bad for Dylan - who has to be a brother to one of these younger generation types. It has to be hard on him - yet he is still able to balance school and field a team in the RFL.

RFL: There are rampant rumors that you're allergic to dogs. Is your team name your own way of trying to get over your fear of dogs?

WG: (somber tone) Yes, I am allergic to most dogs. (smile) Thankfully I don't have many problems with beagles. When I was selecting my team name, it was clear to me that my two beagles embodied everything one could want in a player. Strong, quick, agile, and stubborn. Well... after the first season of success, orders for "CRAZED BEAGLES ON THE RUN" merchandise has exploded. I now have trademarks on both "the crazed beagle" and "crazed beagles on the run" names. It's been a real success story.

RFL: There's been a lot of talk on the new changes and new direction in RFL this year. How would you compare RFL under the former commish Cals vs RFL under the current commish Wang?

WG: Cals' was old and tired. And in the end, some might question his ethics. Yet no one can deny his contributions to the League. You have to applaud someone who actual[sic] puts his efforts where his mouth is. I now[sic] that you don't understand. Dave, on the other hand, is doing a tremendous job. The real test will be when he goes to clean up some of the Leagues[sic] more moronic rules. For example: QB touchdown only get 3pts. It's clear that this type of ruling makes no sense.

RFL: Do you think the combination of you and your brother could take down Dylan w/1 hand tied behind his back? And if so, what about the combination of you and your brother vs Dylan w/1 hand and Shivan?

WG: I'll be frank about Dylan. He is soft and slow. I love the guy, but facts are facts. This is probably an artifact of him[sic] growing up on the farm. Who knows - he might just toughen up in a city like New York. I hear that one needs to get use[sic] to crime. The Shivan kid/girl/person/whatever is a mystery to me. He clearly knows nothing about football, but I just can't comment on this[sic] street fighting ability. Most likely my brother and I would end the whole affair by giving them both atomic wedgies.

RFL: How would your life be different if you never knew about RFL?

WG: I'd be in some other league dominating some other crowd, but I won't[sic] be having as much fun. It's nice to be apart[sic] of the BU community. I wouldn't have gone to such a no name school, but its[sic] nice to see you getting into it.

WG: By the way, I have a question for you and any other BU alumni. Why does BU consider itself a big time hockey school when Wisconsin has more national championships and more players in the NHL?

RFL: Walter, sure, we can go back to the 1890's and find some Wisconsin National Championships. Let's focus on the more recent years (like this century). In addition, I'm sure if we do a careful analysis - including not only championships but also 2nd and 3rd place finishes, I'm quite sure we'll find BU far ahead of Wisconsin. Lastly, BU dominates the NHL. Since most BU alums are rather successful in their careers, we're quite busy and don't have the time to query the internet to find this obscure data. But if we did, I'm sure you'll find that once again we come out on top.

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
36 Peyton Manning (Don't Call It a Comeback)
36 Brad Johnson (Men in Brown)
30 Drew Bledsoe (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)

RB
48 Stephen Davis (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)
39 Tim Biakabutuka (Ferocious Underwear)
36 Eddie George (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
24 Curtis Enis (Bladerunners)
24 Terry Allen (Men in Brown)
21 Dorsey Levens (Crazed Beagles on the Run)
21 Richard Huntley (Don't Call It a Comeback)
21 Charlie Garner (Team Desai)

WR
51 Marvin Harrison (Y2K Bugs)
27 Ed McCaffrey (Y2K Bugs)
24 Michael Westbrook (Men in Brown)
21 Randy Moss (Wide Open Beavers)
21 Curtis Conway (Resurgent Romanians)
21 Terry Glenn (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
21 Michael Irvin (Ferocious Underwear)

TE
30 Wesley Walls (Recharged Romanians)
12 Tony Gonzalez (Don't Call It a Comeback)
12 Ricky Dudley (12 Angry Men)

PK
37 Mike Hollis (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
36 Adam Vinatieri (Bladerunners)
36 Steve Christie (Wide Open Beavers)

Kevin	Advantage	Clark
PManning		BFavre
NMeans		CEnis
GBrown		CDillon
YThigpen		RodSmith
THolt		DWard
TGonzalez		KBrady
MHusted		AVinatieri

Both teams will basically be at full strength. The winner of this game will establish themselves as a serious Steamroller Trophy contender. The loser will be in danger of a precipitous fall due to the emotional devastation of losing on the GOTW stage.
Manning vs Favre is the marquee matchup, but look for the RB battles to decide this contest. Clark needs big numbers from Bladerunner backs pEnis and Dillon. If Kevin's Means and "Blood Clot in the Buttocks" Brown can keep the RB numbers even, DCIAC's advantage at WR and TE should advance DCIAC to 4-1.

**** The bottom line: DCIAC by 9 ****

©1999-2000 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: September 25, 2000