Steve Young, Terrell Davis, Fred Taylor, Jamal Anderson, Randy Moss, Terrell Owens, Jerry Rice, Shannon Sharpe, Ben Coates, and Chris Boniol all start the season with GOOSE-EGGS!!!
Steve McNair 21, Richard Huntley 21, Duce Staley 15, EdMcCaffrey 21, and Mike Hollis 15 are among your Week 1 All-Stars! Hooo boy!

WALLY PITCHES NO-NO

Brian Grayeski's *entire* mob of misfits (starters AND bench) nearly got blanked. Steve Young's backup, Trent Dilfer, tossed a TD pass for the only 3 points. Perhaps Cals will have to chime in on whether a team has EVER been completely shutout or not.
The League's decision to schedule Draft "neighbors" (i.e., 1 vs 2, 3 vs 4, ...) against each other in Week 1 made for an interesting week of matchups. While #2 (Tim) beat #1 (Joebob) and #4 (Kevin) beat #3 (Cals) in the Bunny Division, only one other "lower seed" managed to win (Wang over Stan) out of the remaining 6 matchups.
Enough random babbling... on to WIR #1!

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**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
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Crazed Beagles on the Run 20
Brian's nameless bunch of bums 0

Brian receives a rude welcome to the League from brother Wally. The self-proclaimed "Greatest Fantasy Football Team Manager ever" clearly was sandbagging to get brother Wally's Beagles started on the right foot. Brian even submitted Carney as his starting PK (knowing full well that the Chargers had a bye this week). Bam and Boniol were DNP's this week - leading to appearances by the Easter Bunny (RB) and Jackrabbit Slim (PK) under the bright lights of GOTW. It indeed took a LOT of sandbagging for Wally to scrape by with the scrubbiest W in the '99 season's initial GOTW.

mcnown 0 levens 3 hoard 6 moulds 3 jsmith 3 wycheck 0 anderson 5
young 0 ebunny X way 0 stokes 0 mccardell 0 glover 0 jrslim X
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Joebob's nameless buncha jokers 20
Y2K Bugs 46

Perhaps all this talk of Fred Taylor surpassing Terrell Davis as League MVP in '99 was most premature. Perhaps *neither* RB will even place on an All-RFL squad at the end of the season! The Jaguars put 41 on the board against SF, and Taylor got shutout. Davis was shutout by the Fish. The Y2K Bugs' WR duo lit up Joebob for 36.

johnson 12 tedavis 0 tallen 6 herman 0 mathis 0 egreen 0 peterson 2
flutie 6 taylor 0 phillips 0 harrison 15 mccaffrey 21 fauria 0 longwell 4
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Wide Open Beavers 15
Don't Call It a Comeback 40

Could Randy Moss possibly be suffering from a SOPHOMORE SLUMP?!?!? To rub salt in the bro-in-law wounds, Kevin gets a BLACKJACK from Huntley. Gonzalez was a DNP, so Peter Cottontail got the nod at TE for DCIAC.

chandler 3 antowain 0 kaufman 0 moss 0 calloway 6 tyrone 0 christie 6
manning 6 jamal 0 huntley 21 thigpen 0 holt 6 pctail X brien 7
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Bladerunners 42
Reptilean Romanians 28

Solid production from Favre, Vinatieri, and the RB's (Dillon and rhymes with "penis") leads Clark's 'Runners over the Romanians. Scrub loss for Vesh's Romanians, and the last appearance for "vINTy" in the WIR for the season. :-(

favre 15 dillon 6 enis 9 rodsmith 0 dedric 0 brady 0 vinatieri 12
vINTy 3 curtis 3 bettis 0 bruce 6 tmartin 3 walls 6 vanderjagt 7
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Team Desai 23
12 Angry Men 14

A scrub win for Team Doofi as Gary's Men were more Whiney than Angry. Kordell and Keyshawn get things started for Desais as Pickens' signing doesn't bode well for future opponents of Shiv, the Boy Wonder.

kordell 9 watters 0 garner 0 keyshawn 12 pickens 0 santiago 0 hall 2
cunningham 3 murrell 3 hicks 0 rice 0 mcduffie 6 dudley 0 andersen 2
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Enid Furth Harmony 13
Ferocious Underwear 24

A late Saturday night email from Wang to Stan replacing Rob Moore with Emanuel as the #2 WR nearly results in a costly loss. K Warner, R Moore, K A-Jabbar, and O Mare outscore their respective starters by a combined 32-6. If Wang was smart, Ferocious Underwear would have scored a respectable 50 this week. But it just goes to show... even a blind squirrel can sometimes find a nut.

brunell 5 robsmith 0 kfaulk 0 jlewis 0 tbrown 0 fann 0 hanson 8
plummer 3 mfaulk 3 biakabutt 0 irvin 15 emanuel 0 sharpe 0 richey 3
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The South Side Black Sox 47
Upper West Side Stomp Mongers 40

Scrub loss for Dylan's UWSSM. The Black Sox prove that they are a darkhorse in the Steamroller race by putting up the top score of the week - despite 0's from 3 starters. Air McNair takes the early MVP lead.

mcnair 21 ejames 9 rwilliams 0 dalexander 12 fsanders 0 riemersma 0 opie 5
bledsoe 6 emmitt 9 duce 15 darnay 0 muhsin 0 salexander 0 delgreco 10
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Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits 39
Jock Itch United 18

Lack of RB production proves fatal to Jock Itch United in Week 1. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times... all Cris Carter does is catch touchdowns! That rabbit from Alice in Wonderland got the start at TE for Brodz' SLAB. F Jones had a bye this week.

greasy 9 egeorge 6 alstott 0 ccarter 6 tglenn 3 alice X hollis 15
marino 6 priest 0 flane 0 freeman 9 owens 0 coates 0 elam 3
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Looking ahead this season... it would be great if you guys could write as many of these WIR's for me as possible. Not only will you have an uncensored soapbox from which to spout your nonsense, but you will also be saving me a few hours of "steam coming out of my ears trying to be witty" time.

I *know* that I will be in Japan from Oct 18-26, so that should wipe out 2 WIR's (week 6 - probably; and week 7 - definitely) for me. Cals will also be rather busy around week 7, so we need 1 or 2 guys to step up. Any volunteers?

Starter/Non-Starter ContrOversy:

The Reptilean Romanians tried to be very sneaky when using the following blurb in their week 1 list of starters submission:

"If Bettis does not start because of injury, I'll play R. Rivers"

League Founder, Former Commissioner, and Resident Guru-for-Life Patrick Zhang dug up the following obscure league precedent:

----
As ex-commish, I can tell you that there are two ways you can go with that statement. At least up until this season, I will let the real commish do the governing.
1) He can place Bettis in his starting lineup as usual. If Bettis doesn't see action, his first man down on the depth chart (at RB) will fill in.
2) He can declare a "starting only" option. If Bettis starts, then Bettis goes for him. However, if Bettis does not start (i.e. the first offensive series), his alternate RB will play, regardless of whether Bettis plays later in the game or not. Think of it as a just-before-kickoff-decision, where Vesh does not have to sit glued to the Pittsburgh game at 1pm eastern.

ex-commish
----

Vesh then stated the intention of his statement was indeed Option #1. I am now moving to strike Option #2 from the realm of RFL possibilities. No other lineups were submitted this past week with Option #2 as a consideration. If a majority of GM's email dissenting opinions to me by Sept 17, we will keep Option #2.

Entry fees:

We'll try something new this year. Since we are all respectable MEN in this league, save for the obvious exceptions (Shiv, Wally, Joebob - to name names), I will not collect entry fees until the end of the season. Once we know where all the RFL bucks should go, I will tell each GM where to send his $. Anyone got a problem with that?

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Gary Eigen, GM, 12 Angry Men
*************************************************
Gary Eigen, the "be-prepared" GM of 12 Angry Men, is new to RFL this season. His fantasy sports background consists of one middle-of-the-road football season in a San Diego league, and an undistinguished couple of years in a baseball league in Boston. It was in a suburb of Boston where Gary met David Wang and Joe Parker at a school across the Charles from BU. It is this unspectacular fantasy sports past that has driven Gary to succeed as a rookie in our beloved League. Gary's strong draft earned him a tie with Joebob atop the RFL '99 Combined Preseason Poll.

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: "12 Angry Men"... that's kind of witty. How did you come up with that name?

Gary Eigen: Well... my first name, "Wide Right," was semi-mocked by the new Commissioner. He thought I was referring to the Seminole-Hurricane games of a few years back when I was indeed alluding to Scott Norwood and my love for the G-men. I was then watching The Movie Channel on a Saturday night - as I frequently do, and this cool courtroom drama came on. The rest is history.

RFL: Randall Cunningham and Troy Aikman... that's an interesting pair of QB's for a Giants fan with ties also to Arizona. Why those 2?

GE: Ask Vesh and Wally and ShiviD. Instead of Cunningham, they took questionable RB's ahead of me in Round 1. Martin #6, Levens #7, Watters #9... c'mon!!! Given what Cunningham did to the Giants when he was with the Eagles, I'm most surprised that ShiviD would take the *weaker* former Eagle in Watters. And we all know that the Cowboys will contend for their 6th Super Bowl victory this year. Once Deion's poor big toe heals, I fully expect one Aikman-to-Sanders TD per game - not to mention all the other TD tosses to Irvin, Ismail, Mills, LaFleur, Bjornson, Emmitt, and MOOSE!

RFL: You obviously put a lot of effort into preparing for your first RFL Draft. Which other GM struck you as being "on the ball"?

GE: Dylan Steeg really stood out in my mind. To draft such a fine team AND record the entire Draft on a spreadsheet AND give stock tips all at the same time! now THAT'S multi-tasking!

RFL: Due to the fact that there are 16 RFL teams and only 14 weeks during the regular season, "12 Angry Men" will not face "Crazed Beagles on the Run" unless you meet in the postseason. What are your thoughts on this scheduling tidbit?

GE: Wally has a strong team, so I'm kind of glad to be ducking him. Although I do not know the Honourable GM Wally in person, the new Commissioner *did* tell me about the trades Wally tried to make with Joebob towards the end of the 1998 regular season. I hope to be in a position where a Levens or a Moulds from Wally's roster can assure *me* of the Aglione Bowl title, and I hope Wally and I can be a little more smart about sneaking such a trade by our clueless Commissioner.

RFL: Roughly half the League's membership own degrees from BU. How does that make you feel?

GE: Like a wolf in sheep's clothing! [a grin as wide as the ocean is deep spreads across Gary's face]

RFL: What are your favorite memories of your good ol' college daze?

GE: The loose BU sorority chicks who came to our frat parties, scorpion bowl races at the Kong, our 5th floor "pharmacy" (which foge fazio frequented), and all our ultimate frisbee I/M championships!

RFL: What can you tell us about your personality that will give the League some insight as to what kind of GM you will be?

GE: I'm a Senior Production Engineer.

RFL: Any final pearls of wisdom as you enter your inaugural RFL campaign?

GE: THE METS RULE!!! Who's gonna pull a "Billy Buck" this year?!?

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
21 Steve McNair (The South Side Black Sox)
15 Brett Favre (Bladerunners)
12 Brad Johnson (Joebob's Jokers)

RB
21 Richard Huntley (Don't Call It a Comeback)
15 Duce Staley (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)
9 Curtis Enis (Bladerunners)
9 Emmitt Smith (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)
9 Edgerrin James (The South Side Black Sox)

WR
21 Ed McCaffrey (Y2K Bugs)
15 Marvin Harrison (Y2K Bugs)
15 Michael Irvin (Ferocious Underwear)
12 Keyshawn Johnson (Team Desai)
12 Derrick Alexander (The South Side Black Sox)
9 Antonio Freeman (Jock Itch United)

TE
6 Wesley Walls (Reptilian Romanians)
0 Everyone else

PK
15 Mike Hollis (Skintight Leather Assless Bodysuits)
12 Adam Vinatieri (Bladerunners)
10 Al Del Greco (Upper West Side Stomp Mongers)

Wang	Advantage	JoePa
J Plummer		S McNair
T Biakabutuka		E James
K A-Jabbar		R Williams
M Irvin		D Alexander
R Moore		F Sanders
S Sharpe		J Riemersma
W Richey		R Cunningham

This is the only Week 2 matchup featuring a clash of undefeateds. Wang is missing Marshall Faulk, while JoePa has a gimpy Ricky Williams. Ferocious Underwear QB Plummer will need to shutout F Sanders and throw 3 TD passes to Rob Moore. The Black Sox have an overwhelming edge at QB, RB's, and PK. McNair, Edgerrin, and Opie should outscore their counterparts by about 18. Wang only has Moore and Sharpe to try to make up that difference.

**** The skinny: Black Sox by 10 ****

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All rights reserved.

Revised: September 25, 2000