Rudy's Fried Lutefisk Week 16 December 16, 1997 RFL WEEK IN REVIEW *** SPECIAL PLAYOFFS EDITION *** ********************************************************************** Playoffs in Review -------- -- ------ SEMIFINALS ********** Chortling Tushy Whackers 46 The Surge 11 Dave Brodkin makes his 2nd straight trip to the Aglione Bowl, following this solid 46-11 thumping of the previously red-hot Surge. Antonio Freeman led the way with a season high 18 pts, while streaky QB Steve McNair added 12. CTW's remarkable playoff drive is highlighted by the fact that their running attack has been decimated in recent weeks. Struggling stars Curtis Martin and Emmitt Smith were knocked out with injuries, but Jerald Moore has filled in admirably, scoring 6 in each playoff contest. The Surge's loss ends an amazing stretch run that began in Week 7. Over the last half of the season, rookie GM Dylan Steeg turned this bunch from a 1-5 nightmare to a 9-6 semifinalist. Eerie? Brods' 46 points is one more than they scored in last year's 45-45 tie/heart breaker Ags Bowl loss to HAWAAW. Can they do it this time??? mcnair 12 autry 0 moore 6 bruce 0 freeman 18 drayton 0 anderson 10 young 3 barber 0 morris 3 fryar 0 morton 0 wycheck 0 hollis 8 ***** Landlord Luggage 26 Gaseous Wombats 3 A total Wombat collapse prevents GM Joe Pynadath from forcing a rematch of 1996's much ballyhooed "GREATEST RFL GAME EVER" Aglione Bowl VII. Michael Irvin was the only starter to muster up points for this streaky outfit. Meanwhile, Luggage gets by with a scrub win, thanks almost entirely going to a resurgent Marshall Faulk, who scored 15 points for the second week in a row. Terrell Davis managed to notch another 6 before going down to a season-threatening injury! banks 0 davis 6 faulk 15 davis 0 carter 0 mitchell 0 boniol 5 cunningham 0 kaufman 0 davis 0 irvin 3 lewis 0 walls 0 mare 0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- CONSOLATION BRACKET ******************* Red Rover 31 Mighty Mighty Gnomes 4 Hmmm, the Gnomes would have beaten the Wombats this week, if such a matchup were granted in the heavens. The Gnome collapse allows steady Red Rover to reach the consolation finals. WR Jerry Rice scored his first points of the season, but is not likely to return next week. favre 9 abduljabbar 0 dunn 3 rice 6 galloway 6 sharpe 0 delgreco 7 elway 0 wheatley 0 levens 0 stokes 0 mccaffrey 0 crumpler 0 kasay 4 ***** Team Desai 35 Bust a Nut 33 Talk about balanced attacks, Team Desai had 5 players with 6 points each, and only one scoreless starter. A goose-egg from Bust a Nut's receiving corps leads them to their second straight playoffs defeat. aikman 6 sanders 6 way 6 sanders 0 brooks 6 green 6 elam 5 george 9 watters 9 anderson 6 martin 0 smith 0 jones 0 stoyanovich 9 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- SCRUB BOWL ^^^^^ ^^^^ Grandma's Cussin' 24 Retard Romanians 7 Grandma's advance to the scrub bowl finals!!! esiason 6 thomas 0 lane 9 calloway 6 emanuel 0 byars 0 vinatieri 3 xxxxx 0 warren 0 garner 0 moore 0 early 0 riemersma 0 jaeger 7 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Stoked Salmon 31 Cream Machine 29 Stoked Salmon wins their 4th straight to reach .500 again. This scrub bowl finalist has stormed in to 2nd place on the league scoring list. brunell 9 bettis 0 dillon 9 brown 0 jett 6 glover 0 longwell 7 hoying 3 centers 0 allen 6 moore 6 thigpen 2 dudley 6 cunningham 6 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Potential for Destruction 32 Fiends Uv Carnal Knowledge 26 The Fiends have collapsed down the stretch, losing 7 of their last 8. GM Purwin has not been heard from in months, prompting RFL management to suspect this renegade lowlife GM may be opting to skip out on RFL's easy entry fee payment plan. Intelligence has been dispatched to Ann Arbor, MI, to break his kneecaps. Meanwhile, P4D gets back to .500 after 2 miserable weeks. stewart 13 george 3 means 9 smith 0 reed 0 popson 0 hall 7 collins 0 smith 9 kirby 9 owens 0 jackson 6 mcgee 0 hanson 2 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Blade Runners 27 Blackhearts 15 Only one team has collpased worse than the Fiends, and that's the Blackhearts. Rookie GM Joe Parker's boys have dropped 9 straight after a 4-3 start. Clark's Blade Runners are finishing a miserable season respectably, having won 5 of their last 10 after an 0-6 start. chandler 3 brown 0 zellars 0 scott 9 johnson 0 coates 6 brien 9 whelihan 3 murrell 6 graham 0 engram 0 metcalf 6 chmura 0 husted 0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ********************************************************************** Transactions ADD DROP ============ === ==== 10- p4d TE Ted Popson TE Freddie Jones 15-surge QB Jon Kitna WR Tony Gaiter 15-surge WR Anthony Rodgers WR Brice Hunter 4- ctw RB Donnell Bennett RB Lamar Smith 4- ctw PK Scott Blanton QB Jeff Hostetler 4- ctw RB Dave Meggett RB Donnell Bennett 3- lugg RB Vaughn Hebron RB Zack Crockett 4- ctw PK Norm Johnson PK Scott Blanton missed dibs: Vaughn Hebron (chortling tw) ********************************************************************** CALS' CORNER ===== ====== Unfortunately, the only peep of RFL trash talk i have heard through the playoffs thus far is a blabbering by young Shiv-Man after he was already knocked out. What is wrong with you people! Even the legendary Joseph V. Pynadath, after confiding that his IHS was returning after a whopmin' of Team Desai in the quarters, kept his mouth shut to the league at large, and now fins himself home for the holidays. A "thank you" goes out to all those who have littered email waves with trash talk. I know I lashed out earlier this season about garbage emails, but that was about trades. I'm talking TRASH TALK here, the very lifeblood of RFL. What is the point of writing a WIR every week if nobody takes the initiative and blasts his opponents over email. I guess the season in general wasn't too bad, but nobody's talking in the playoffs! You are sapping my enthusiasm. Of course it should be painfully obvious to all that the best team in teh league right now is not Chortling Tushy Whackers, not Landlord Luggage, not even STEAMROLLER CHAMPS Red ROver. That's right suckers, STOKED SALMON is fucking dominating you fools all over the field. Not 1 week after the RFL gods accomplished their seemingly unattainable goal of keeping me, RFL Legend Cals, out of the playoffs, Stoked managed to break the spell and have reeled off an amazing 4 straight wins, averaging 42 points per game. Numbers don't lie! ----- * Entry Fees You guys are making me sick: Joe Pynadath (scoundrel and general scofflaw) Josh Veshia (tax-evading penthouse-dwelling embezzler) Tim Purwin (the amazing disappearing kreskin) Somebody's not going to get paid because of your deviltry. RFLHQ 405 Fremont Ave. Los Altos, CA 94024 ********************************************************************** RFL ALL*STARS ************* QB Kordell Stewart (Potential 4 D) 13 Steve McNair (Chortling TW) 12 RB Marshall Faulk (Landlord Luggage) 15 6 different muthafuckas 9 WR Antonio Freeman (Chortling TW) 18 Darnay Scott (Blade Runners) 9 TE Green, Coates, Dudley 6 K Gary Anderson (Chortling TW) 10 ************** ** Week 16 total: 80 Pretty pathetic, Ty. ********************************************************************** AGLIONE BOWL VII ================== 5-C. Tushy Whackers (11-5, 30.7) vs 6-Landlord Luggage (10-6, 30.9) QB Steve McNair <- Tony Banks RB Jerald Moore -> Terrell Davis RB Darnell Autry -> Marshall Faulk WR Antonio Freeman == Cris Carter WR Isaac Bruce <- Chris Sanders TE Troy Drayton == Pete Mitchell PK Gary Anderson == Chris Boniol Never before has RFL seen such a balance of power throughout the league ranks. This Aglione Bowl matchup pits two of the higher scoring RFL franchises, but they have been by no means dominant teams in the RFL pecking order, finishing 5th & 6th respectively after the regular season. Luggage boasts an explosive 1-2 combo of Terrell Davis and Cris Carter, both league leaders at their respective positions. Marshall Faulk has shown a resurgence in the playoffs, leading Luggage with 30 points in those 2 games. The rest of the lineup is average, however, and they will rely on production from those 3 to carry them this week. The big question mark is Davis, the league MVP-to-be. If Davis does not go this week, expect Vaughn Hebron to step in. As is often in the case in Aglione Bowls, stars from top NFL teams, especially when injured, are expected to perform below their usual standards. This could be an issue for the Chortling Tushy Whackers, as WR Antonio Freeman, fresh from taking over the league WR points lead from Cris Carter, faces a meaningless game against the Bills this week. Freeman has been CTW's only real steady performer, but RB Curtis Martin may make it back in time to avenge his goose-egg in last year's Aglione Bowl defeat. Steve McNair, while accounting for minimal points as a passer, has shown an explosive tendency to score TDs. RECAP: CTW GM Dave Brodkin is attempting to chase the demons from his memory, after losing last year's AGs Bowl with what is widely reagarded as the best team in RFL history, Luscious Brodkin. LL GM John Wilson won the 3rd place crown last season after bowing out to Brodkin in the semis. He has his eye on revenge and the ultimate prize this week, the AGLIONE BOWL VIII title! CALS' LINE: *** LANDLORD LUGGAGE by 3 *** 3rd PLACE GAME ************** 7- Gaseous Wombats (9-7, 28.1) vs 8- The Surge (9-7, 26.1) GM Joe looks to avenge a Week 9 loss to the Surge, and to save face after his IHS-crushing 26-3 defeat to Luggage last week. The Surge disappeared last week as well, going down 46-11 in the other semi. A 3rd place prize would be a fine salvage for either of these team's seasons. *** WOMBATS by 5 *** CONSOLATION TITLE ***************** 1- Red Rover (11-5, 32.6) vs 2- Team Desai (11-5, 30.1) A fine matchup to end the season. The top 2 regular season finishers duke it out for consolatory sympathy. *** RED ROVER by 7 *** 7th PLACE ********* 3- Bust a Nut (10-6, 27.0) vs 4- Mighty Mighty Gnomes (10-6, 23.2) This game is the "real" scrub bowl. *** BUST A NUT by 8 *** ********************************************************************** SCRUB BOWL FINALS: ****************** 10- Stoked Salmon (8-8, 31.0) vs 12- Grandma's Cussin' (7-9, 25.4) The people's Ags Bowl? not.... *** STOKED SALMON by 12 *** 11- Cream Machine (7-9, 29.4) vs 16- Romanians (3-13, 15.7) A playoff caliber club against a cellar caliber club. * CREAM by 18 * 9-Potential 4 Destruction (8-8,30.6) vs 15-Blade Runners (5-11,20.9) P4D was one of the good ones, now finds themselves finishing the season in a cesspool of scrub. Ouch. *** P4D by 9 *** 13- Fiends Uv Carnal K (5-11, 24.8) vs 14- Blackhearts (4-12, 22.4) The ugly bowl. *** FIENDS by 7 *** Lineups due by 1pm eastern sunday!!!! (but preferably by friday afternoon!) RFL Hotline: (650) 917-1619 New stupid area code!!!