in a move to re-vitalize the empty coffers of RFL's financial accounts world-wide, the League has sold sponsorships on almost every single marketable facet of the WIR. treasurer joebob was quoted as saying, "i'm not sure where all the league's funds went - to the best of my recollection. but by selling out to corporate america, we have ensured the security of RFL's future as i must attend 'business' trips all over the planet from sunshine city to atlantis to the city in the clouds."

When all was said & done, only one team remains undefeated after 3 weeks of play: Stoked Salmon. The cellar is currently stocked with Surge and Blade Runners. Uuuggghhhhh!

ACTING COMMISSIONER WANG LOOKS FOR LOVE

Thanks to the upstart young rookie GM, Shivan Desai of Team Desai, the league engaged in a rapid fire banter of trash sentiments this morning. The brash young GM should be heralded for touting his IHS (Inflated Head Syndrome) so ravenously. Go Team Desai! See how long you can stay above .500 with your band of beastly thugs!

COMMISSIONER VISITS DENTIST

acting RFL Commissioner David Wang attended the Sony company picnic at Great America amusement park in santa clara on saturday - accompanied by a fine, young lady from sun microsystems. much to his disappointment, the selection of sony females to hit upon was seriously lacking... so mr wang had to focus solely on his date.
things went well on the 11am to 11pm date in the end - as mr wang blew off the "day after phone call" to find a gushing email from miss sun '97 in his inbox upon his return from sony's dtv kick-off meeting in san diego.
one sidenote: acting commish wang spotted cals' beloved dental assistant daphne fighting off the advances of a sony exec at the company picnic and proceeded to put a hooligan-ish whoopin' on his ass. acting commish wang then gave cals' phone # to the fair daphne and advised her to call that number for the lovin' of her life. commish cals will keep you posted.

****************************
**** the tough actin' tinactin GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Team Desai 14
Landlord Luggage 17

Underaged GM's all over our beloved land shook their heads in knowing shame as their fearless "leader" headed to the e.r. for foot-from-mouth removal surgery. troy led the 'boys to an undeserved MNF victory, but could only tally 3 pts for (over-rated) team desai as boniol led john "silent woody" wilson's squad to a monday night come-from-behind (the best kind) victory. a truly SHAMEFUL scrub win goes to the luggage.

aikman 3 sanders 6 salaam 0 brooks 0 perriman 0 green 0 elam 5
banks 0 te.davis 3 faulk 0 carter 6 shepherd 0 lafleur 0 boniol 8
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C Tushy Whackers 42
Red Rover 31

brodz' squad flexes its pecs as they go qb-less and still post the highest point total of the week. solid production from the non-QB/TE's firmly establish the team formerly known as "luscious" as a steamroller contender this season. ed seto's crew put up a respectable showing led by dunn and andre, but the end result was a scrub loss.

chucktaylor 0 martin 15 barber 8 freeman 6 alexander 6 asher 0 blanton 7
favre 6 karim 0 dunn 9 galloway 0 a.reed 9 sharpe 0 mort 7
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Blackhearts 22
Rumbling Romanians 1

after rumbling all over purwin's disgruntled squad last week, the romanians re-display their bottom-of-the-barrel duds. i seem to recall cals stating that some team got goose-egged many years ago, so jaeger's PAT deprived joen "jett" parker's blackhearts of "lovin' rock n roll" and "puttin' another quarter in the juke box, baby"! if the blackhearts can put together a pair of battle-tested wr's, they *could* do some damage in the post-season. chalk up another scrub W for the blackhearts.

b.johnson 9 murrell 3 hearst 6 jones 0 metcalf 0 bjornson 0 husted 4
graham 0 warren 0 garner 0 moore 0 early 0 riemersma 0 jaeger 1
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Gaseous Wombats 36
Grandma's Cussin' 21

the acting commish received a series of phone calls on sunday (after the games had started) requesting the swapping of nap kaufman into the starting lineup. according to this reporter's sources, the acting commish was heard spewing, "i may be cheap, but you won't find me in no 99-cent store! now give me what i wants or you'll be SORRY!" kaufman's 18 led joebob's gw's over a suddenly struggling swearing grandmas squad.

kramer 0 allen 0 kaufman 18 irvin 0 kennison 0 walls 12 stover 6
bledsoe 6 centers 0 alstott 6 emanuel 0 harrison 0 brady 0 vinatieri 9
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Mighty Mighty Gnomes 35
Blade Runners 25

by doubling the "mighty"-ness of his band of gnomes, gm lance harry has nearly doubled his victory total of all of last season! 26 points from elway and kasay provided the mountain which could not be bladed. the blade runners seem 2 rb's short of a rb pair. gm clark is rumored to have shopped emmitt around the league for a case of desenex. there were no takers; the runners are saddled with a scrub loss instead.

elway 12 levens 3 fletcher 0 mccaffrey 6 jefferson 0 thomason 0 kasay 14
marino 3 e.smith 0 tr.davis 0 mushin 0 johnson 6 coates 6 ford 10
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Bust a Nut 19
Fiends Uv Carnal Knowledge 15

this contest was slightly less ugly than the 17-14 tough actin' tinactin game of the week. gm chris overcomes carney's single digit/unit by benefiting from the awakening of brent jones. the nut busters could be just a rb and a wr away from STEAMROLLER CONTENTION! after a steamroller dream season 2 years ago in his inaugural campaign, purwin's "luck" has apparently run out. look for tim to replace vINTy with chrissy everett (or tommy maddox) in the next week or two. scrubby W for gm chris.

george 3 watters 3 anderson 0 martin 0 green 0 jones 12 carney 1
vinny 6 r.smith 0 kirby 0 jackson 6 owens 0 williams 0 blanchard 3
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The Cream Machine 31
Potential 4 Destruction 21

the rfl gods struck a heaping helping of humble-pie into the heart of acting commissioner wang when HAROLD GREEN struck paydirt for the falcons! the machine needed a big monday night from richie cunningham, and opie didn't disappoint. are you down with opie c? the machine continues to cry over spilt milk - as chris calloway was given a shot at the wr spot vacated by jerry rice. gm kevin's shrewd bye week maneuverings (needing to replace BOTH rb's - all-rfl contenders eddie george and natrone means) almost resulted in a hard-earned victory, but pot4dest slips to 1-2.

brown 4 phillips 6 mcelroy 0 h.moore 6 calloway 0 dudley 0 cunningham 15
mitchell 6 a.smith 0 green 6 j.reed 3 engram 0 conwell 0 hall 6
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Stoked Salmon 35
The Surge 31

anthony miller "felt the power" in the last minute of MNF to pull the absent commish's ass out of the fire. after cutting long-time franchise TE jackie harris in favor of last year's flash-in-the-pan popson, cals' first-born was in danger as harris sought revenge. instead... harris attempted to avenge his disgraceful trip to the unemployment line by scoring what would've been the game-winning td had a.miller not done likewise. but a.miller *did* do likewise. in other news... chris warren nearly surpassed his point total from all of '96 with a big 9'er on sunday. gm dylan's team is surging, but still W-less after this scrub loss.

grbac 3 j.graham 6 warren 9 brown 0 miller 6 popson 0 longwell 11
young 9 johnson 0 harris 6 fryar 0 morton 6 sloan 0 christie 10
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writing a half-worthy WIR is a HUGELY time-consuming labor (of love)! please don't volunteer for WIR duty unless you're ready to devote *scores* of hours - pouring over boxscores, rosters, emails, and previous WIR's.
it has been a pleasure writing '97 WIR #3 for you guys. i hope you aren't too disappointed with it.
-dsw, acting cals

Four NFL teams are taking week 4 off: Arizona, Dallas, Philadelphia, and Washington.

Entry Fees are due! "Thanks" to those who have submitted their RFL dues. For those of you who haven't paid up, please send your fees in today! It takes about 2 minutes! No need to worry about composing a 250-word "how do you do" note with your letter! Just send the check! Please! Just ask Mr Harry about how the RFL gods strike down the teams of late-paying GMs.

Cals
405 xxxxxxx Ave.
Los Altos, CA 94024

This matchup pits the last 2 STEAMROLLER Trophy winners. True to the cliche - this will be a study in contrasting franchises. One is back on the rise, and one is taking on tons of water. 2 years ago, purwin's dirty digs edged past wang's fbex's to claim the steamroller in his 1st year of rfl action (let that be an inspiration to you 1st-year gm's out there) while cals' club DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE PLAYOFFS! last season, commish cals' gibbons rampaged to the steamroller title while purwin's suicidal postal workers finished the regular season without an invite to the BIG DANCE.
cals' undefeated salmon continue this week on their quest for a PERFECT SEASON, while purwin's fiends seek to stop a slide that has them aimed at last year's not-so-rabid gnomes.

Cals	Advantage	Tim
Elvis Grbac		Vinny Testaverde
Jerome Bettis		Robert Smith
Chris Warren		Terry Kirby
Tim Brown		Michael Jackson
OJ McDuffie		Terrell Owens
Ted Popson		Tony McGee
Ryan Longwell		Cary Blanchard

the salmon lose sometime-starter, sometime-wus anthony miller to mister BYE. the fiends will be at "full" strength. this reporter has a hunch that the fiends have *some* pride, but the salmon seem too stoked to fall at this point in the season. the PERFECT SEASON continues...

*** Cals' Line: Salmon by 7 ***

Lineups due by 10am pacific sunday!!!!
(but preferably by friday afternoon!)
RFL Hotline: (415) xxx-1619

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All rights reserved.

Revised: August 7, 2001