Time crunch! No headline story this week, other than the Rampaging Gibbons of the Apocalypse have been declared to be the greatest team of all time. Yeah Drew, even better than your precious little Dancing Clowns. But thanks for your help!

WEEK 6 IN REVIEW

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**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
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Rampaging Gibbons 49
Pistol Whippers 21

The Gibbons flex muscles that others did not know existed! Going in without star RB Watters, first-time Gibbon and rowdy free-agent QB John Friesz lit it up for a pleasantly surprising 9; but recently acquired TE Shannon Sharpe was the big hero with an all-time TE high score of 24! Jerome Bettis continued his hot streak with a token 9 chipped in near the end of regulation. Brett Favre continues to be a bright spot for the Pistol Whippers, who have lost 3 straight after starting the season at 3-0. Favre scored 12 in a losing effort.

friesz 9 crockett 0 bettis 9 brown 0 early 0 sharpe 24 jacke 7
favre 12 murrell 3 salaam 0 mcduffie 0 stewart 0 dilger 0 m.andersen 6
pregame spread: gibbons by 5
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Store 24's 36
Closet Cases 23

Desai's club gets the job done in the midst of Emmittless adversity. Terry Kirby is finally back in action as he contributed 9 to the cause, while Pasta Vinatieri pumped in 12. Eddie George was a bright spot in the shadow of defeat for the Cases, scoring 12. Both of these idiot GMs played this game with only 1 starting RB.

moon 6 xxxxx 0 kirby 9 conway 3 small 6 brady 0 vinatieri 12
brunell 3 xxxxx 0 george 12 brooks 6 davis 0 mitchell 0 sissy 2
pregame spread: closet by 4
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HAWAAW 22
Willie's Wankers 19

The only game to come down to excitement on monday this week, HAWAAW slips by with the scrub W thanks to a miraculous defensive job on Wanking K Pete Stoyanovich. Stoyo, who drove into the parking lot before the game drunk off his ass, was held to just 1 point and missed an FG that would have won the game for the hard-luck Wankers. Time & time again HAWAAW dodged the bullet of defeat in this monday nite thriller. GM Joe Pynadath attributed the victory to the presence of good luck charm/Store 24 GM Snehal Desai at his home. "The RFL Gods are watching over him" Pynadath said of the Rumbling Giant Leprechaun.

grbac 9 russell 0 r.smith 3 bruce 0 stokes 0 wycheck 6 wilkins 4
blake 3 davis 0 kaufman 0 rice 9 martin 6 xxxxx 0 stoyanovich 1
pregame spread: wankers by 4
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Disgruntled Postal Workers 42
Rabid Gnomes 19

The Gnomes season of frustration continues as 5 game starter Joey Galloway finally lit it up with 15 pts.... on the bench. However, it still wouldn't have been enough to overcome a balanced Postal attack, led by Cris Carter (12), Ben Coates (8), and James Stewart (9).

everett 3 vardell 0 stewart 9 carter 12 miller 0 coates 8 ford 10
erickson 3 bennett 0 green 6 hill 6 dawkins 0 carolan 0 elam 4
pregame spread: postal by 8
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Ghost in a Helmet 54
Globulants 40

GIAH finally shows signs of life, as they nearly double their previous season high output. Points came from the unlikeliest of players, with Shawn Jefferson & Rickey Dudley each striking for 12, and RB Joe Aska kicking in 9 in his first career RFL start. QB Drew Bledsoe exploded with a 17 point performance to lead the way. Globs QB Elway outdid him 1 better with 18 in the scrub loss.

bledsoe 17 warren 0 aska 9 j.reed 0 jefferson 12 dudley 12 kasay 4
elway 18 thomas 6 faulk 6 rison 0 r.ismail 0 green 0 christie 10
pregame spread: globs by 6
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Digital Rectal 38
FUBAR 22

FUBAR tried hard in this one, but the points just weren't there. RB Ernest Byner chipped in 12 in his first start of the year, but got little support, as the Rectals post their 4th straight win, keeping pace with the Rampaging Gibbons. Herman Moore scored 15 to lead the way for the impressive rear-enders.

bono 0 phillips 0 m.allen 6 h.moore 15 a.reed 6 jackson 6 carney 5
tomczak 3 byner 12 abdul-jabbar 0 pickens 0 haynes 0 chmura 0 jaeger 6
pregame spread: rectal by 14
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Luscious Brodkin 40
Rumbling Romanians 21

Brods continues his red hot pace, getting most of his points from 2 horses QB Mitchell (15) and RB Jamal Anderson (21). On the bench, Michael Jackson, the gloved one, ripped it up for a whopping 19, which would have given Brods the '96 season high (tied with Wankers).

Mitchell 15 martin 0 anderson 21 mathis 0 morton 0 walls 0 hanson 4
chandler 6 sanders 0 hearst 0 perriman 6 jett 0 pupunu 0 johnson 9
pregame spread: luscious by 9

unfulfilled dibs:
TE Mario Popson: Ghost in a Helmet

Usually we present the RFL awards at the conclusion of the season, so I will withhold judgment until then; but I feel I must announce the early frontrunner for bumbling GM of the year, since one GM is making particularly large strides in this direction. Cut him some slack though, he's just a rookie and is still learning the system. Besides, you could make a case for just calling it bad luck. Mr. Josh Veshia, GM of the mediocre Rumbling Romanians, is doing more to destroy his playoff chances than any other GM this season. TE Wesley Walls & RB Ernest Byner have both rebounded with huge scoring performances for other clubs immediately after being trimmed by Mr. Veshia. One impressive acquisition made by the Romanians, TE Kjell Bjornson, was trimmed this week along with long-time RFL legend QB Dan Marino to make room for the high-powered offensive capabilities of James Jett and Alfred Pupunu. Ouch! Don't take it personally Josh! Hey, it happens to the best of us (or does it?).

The RFL trash talkers have receded into the shadows after some impressive verbage a couple of weeks back. The clever little comments following WIRs are great, but what the editorial staff is looking for here are some well thought and well written GM bashing articles, for publishment in the WIR. Let's get that shit going again!
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RFL ALL*STARS
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QB
18 John Elway (globulants)

RB
21 Jamal Anderson (Luscious Brods)
12 Ernest Byner (FUBAR) & Eddie George (Closet Cases)

WR
15 Herman Moore (digital rectal)
12 Cris Carter (disgruntled PW) & Shawn Jefferson (GIAH)

TE
24 Shannon Sharpe (gibbons)

PK
12 Adam Vinatieri (Store 24)
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Week 6 total: 114 great job!

RB
60 Terry Allen (HAWAAW)
42 Ricky Watters (Rampaging Gibbons)
39 Terrell Davis (Willie's Wankers)
35 Curtis Martin (Luscious Brodkin)
33 Emmitt Smith (Store 24's)
30 Jerome Bettis (Rampaging Gibbons)

WR
45 Tony Martin (Willie's Wankers)
42 Herman Moore (Digital Rectal)
39 Tim Brown (Rampaging Gibbons)
27 Anthony Miller (DG Postal Workers)
27 Jerry Rice (Willie's Wankers)
24 Robert Brooks (Closet Cases)
24 Cris Carter (Disgruntled Postal)

TE
36 Shannon Sharpe (Rampaging Gibbons)
26 Ben Coates (DG Postal Workers)
24 Ken Dilger (Pistol Whippers)

PK
61 John Carney (Digital Rectal)
45 Chris Jacke (Rampaging Gibbons)
41 Adam Vinatieri (Store 24)

Behind the Rampaging Gibbons and Digital Rectal, these are possibly the two next best teams in the league. Luscious is developing a backfield to be terrified of, with QB Mitchell and RBs Anderson and Martin tearing up recent opponents. The Postal Workers' RBs, after looking fairly impressive early on, are now revealing themselves as a potential weak link.

Brodz	Advantage	Tim
Scott Mitchell		Jim Everett
Curtis Martin		James Stewart
Jamal Anderson		Derek Loville
Terance Mathis		Cris Carter
Michael Jackson		?????
Wesley Walls		Ben Coates
Jason Hanson		Cole Ford

If Jamal Anderson and Michael Jackson are for real, Luscious Brods could be poised to make a serious run at the league leaders. But how often does this happen? Until they shore up their backfield (Stewart looks like the only winner right now), the postal workers are a question mark, particularly with WR Anthony Miller resting this week.
Cals' pick: Luscious Brodkin by 9

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All rights reserved.

Revised: September 29, 2000