The long awaited return of the world's most celebrated weekly publication, the RFL Week in Review, will be received with immense joy and jubilation around the globe today. "It has been a long 36 weeks," said Russian President Boris Yeltsin. "I can't wait to get my mitts on all that cunning insight and gurutorial facts."

This year's premier edition has been more eagerly awaited than in years past, due to the lack of a substantial SEASON IN REVIEW at the conclusion of the 1995 campaign. Hernando Perez, a political refugee from Guatamala, was particularly excited: "Between fleeing from the bullets of my oppressors' rifles and scavenging bugs and grass to maintain my strength, I like to cozy up with Cals' Corner." Rapu Bujendra of Bangladesh added, "I have indeed been looking forward to this day for some time now. Thank you very much RFL, you are a very very good man."

Among the traits most readers identified as particularly enjoyable were the witty game reviews and Letters to the Editor, noted for the gobs of trash talk they produce. "After a hard day of executing women and children, I like to read all the slurs and insults fired around in the WIR. Those guys are psycho!" commented Bosnian soldier Yosif Cernescu.

Yes folks, the time has finally arrived! Prepare yourself for another season of fun and laughter, or as Spinal Tap guitarist Nigel Tufnel proclaims, "These ones go to eleven."

WEEK 2 IN REVIEW

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**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
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Disgruntled Postal Workers 32
Digital Rectal 18

Digital Rectal (GM Drew Wagner) could not duplicate their 53 point performance from last week, as WR Andre Reed & TE Keith Jackson both returned to reality with 0's. DR's glaring weakness at RB was also revealed, with Marcus Allen the only back on the team who has set foot on an NFL playing field this year. Meanwhile, GM Tim Purwin's DPW picks up where last season's Steamroller Trophy winner left off, getting off to an impressive 2-0 start.

everett 6 loville 6 biaka 0 carter 6 miller 6 coates 0 peterson 8
kelly 3 d.moore 0 m.allen 0 h.moore 6 a.reed 0 jackson 0 carney 9
pregame spread: digital rectal by 7
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desai sporting wood 19
HAWAAW 18

Desai gets scrub win #1 as Emmitt returns with his first 9 of the season. "I can't believe I lost to a Desai team," moans HAWAAW star GM Joe Pynadath. HAWAAW QB Steve Young has yet to score this year.

Walsh 0 E.Smith 9 McElroy 0 Conway 0 small 6 brady 0 vinatieri 4
young 0 t.allen 6 r.smith 0 bruce 0 stokes 0 byars 0 wilkins 12
pregame spread: HAWAAW by 8
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Ghost in a Helmet 25
Willie's Wankers 20

Pre-season fave (like that means anything) GIAH gets their first win, the first career win for rookie GM Kevin Archibald. 5 players scored for Willie's Wankers (GM John Wilson), while only 2 guys for GIAH put numbers on the board. So much for the balanced attack theory.

harbaugh 9 warren 0 hampton 0 harrison 0 carrier 0 dudley 0 kasay 16
blake 3 davis 3 pegram 0 rice 3 martin 6 jones 0 stoyanovich 5
pregame spread: GIAH by 3
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Pistol Whippers 29
Globulants 23

Battle of Week 1 winners goes to the whippers (GM Dave Wang), who is looking to continue his FireBox Extinguisher quality in his 3rd RFL campaign. TE Ken Dilger shined this week with 12, while steady QB B. Favre scored 9. However, PW needs to improve their RB situation.

favre 9 centers 0 hayden 0 McDuffie 6 c.sanders 0 dilger 12 pelfrey 2
elway 12 faulk 0 thomas 6 rison 0 fryar 0 green 0 christie 5
pregame spread: globs by 7
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Rampaging Gibbons 37
Luscious Brodkin 24

Hot Damn, that's a quality team! League scoring leaders RG (GM Pat Callery) use a huge monday nite rally from RB Watters & K Jacke to come from behind, notching their first victory of the year. Luscious Brods got 12 from WR T. Mathis in a losing effort. LB continues to make large scale roster overhauls (see TRANSACTIONS).

aikman 9 watters 6 phillips 0 brown 0 early 9 bruener 0 jacke 13
mitchell 3 martin 3 anderson 3 mathis 12 jackson 0 smith 0 hanson 3
pregame spread: gibbons by 4
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Rabid Gnomes 33
Rumbling Romanians 28

A surprisingly high scoring tilt between a couple of stinkers. Hey, maybe they ain't so bad after all. Big 9 pts from RB EDGAH bennett on monday night springs the gnome comeback win. the romanians' 28 points nets them a scrub loss. kickers turned out to be the difference in this one.

george 6 bennett 9 carter 0 galloway 6 jones 0 harris 0 elam 12
marino 6 sanders 9 hill 0 perriman 0 sanders 6 walls 0 johnson 7
pregame spread: romanians by 3
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Closet Cases 41
FUBAR 15

This week's high score comes from the cases thanks to a 15 pts monday outburst from talented WR r. Brooks. rookie RB Eddie George added 12, while sleeper QB Mark Brunell continues to astound, scoring 9. FUBAR leads only desai's crew in points this year, with a woeful 27.

brunell 9 george 12 murrell 0 brooks 15 metcalf 0 mitchell 0 andersen 5
kramer 0 williams 0 bates 0 pickens 6 vanover 0 chmura 0 boniol 9
pregame spread: FUBAR by 5
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Welcome back, fellow GMs. The RFL's historical documents were recently recovered from their vaults in St. Paul, MN, and so now I have a chance to share with the newer GMs some of the history that was not presented pre-draft. Let's take a look at some the the past seasons' champions:

STEAMROLLER TROPHY WINNERS (regular season champs & big $$$)

1990	Steamrollers (GMs Albert Aglione & Snehal Desai), 11-4
1991	Dancing Clowns (GM Drew Wagner), 13-1
1992	Z-Bomb (GM Pat Callery), 10-3-1
1993	End Zone Bones (GM Pat Callery), 10-5
1994	Meat Beaters (GM Drew Wagner), 20-10
1995	Dirty Digs (GM Tim Purwin), 11-4

AGLIONE BOWL CHAMPIONS and game scores

1990	Steamrollers	38	(GMs Aglione & Desai)
	Philstros	18	(GM Phil Brickman)
1991	Cals Killer Cows	38	(GM Pat Callery)
	Dule Baters	36	(GM Ashesh Pansuria)
1992	Brodkin Citgo Machine	23	(GM Dave Brodkin)
	Z-Bomb	21	(GM Pat Callery)
1993	End Zone Bones	38	(GM Pat Callery)
	The Mutts	35	(GM Bob Dionne)
1994	Head Hunters	30	(GM Pat Callery)
	Meat Beaters	21	(GM Drew Wagner)
1995	Immigrant Farmworkers		(GM Gabe Negron)
	Pasty White Thighs		(GM Stan Wilson)

Who will add their names to these lists???? Good luck gentlemen!

RULES UPDATE: Last night, the legend Chris T. Jones caught a pass from Rodney Peete and lateraled it to Irving Fryar, who almost scored. If Fryar got in the end zone, how would you score that? Well Fryar would certainly get the 6 for the TD. I think in the past we would have given Chris T. the 3 points for tossing it to him, and Peete would get 0 for it. Yardage is taken care of by the NFL's official scorers. I welcome and encourage your comments on this matter, this is a rule we need to clarify before it creates another contraversy. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Sidenotes: Last week (week 1), only 5 of the 14 first-round draft choices managed to score points..... Hooray for rookie GM Josh Veshia, who has supplied a wonderful team name to give Desai while he pounds that thick skull of his trying to think up something funny: "In the spirit of Indian pride, I suggest you rename your team to be The Store 24s." Josh, it shall be done..... FUBAR RB Karim Abdul-Jabbar would be the 2nd highest scorer (non-K) in the league if only he'd gotten a chance to start both weeks..... The guru's pre-draft analysis of the Disgruntled Postal Workers found a glaring weakness at RB. 2 weeks later it seems to be a veritable stable with Loville, Vardell, Stewart, Levens, & Biakabutuka; 8 TD's scored between them so far.... Does anybody know who, if anyone, Eric Green is playing for?

I recently read an essay that so moved me, I feel I must share it with you all, even if you've read it before:

RFL VII KICKOFF EDITORIAL by David E. Brodkin ------------------------

This is the time of year when I write my annual kickoff editorial which usually covers a completely irrelevant topic and is written during a timeframe when I have the urge to avoid all job responsibilities. Cancer's cure will wait 'til tomorrow. Getting on track... the season has come upon us. The leaves will soon be turning and you can smell autumn in the air (besides Stan). We all know that these are sure signs that RFL has come out of hibernation to grace us with its presence.

RFL VII may prove to be the greatest season ever. The number of franchises, fourteen, is the most in recent history and possibly ever. Five members of the innaugural season are managing, now that Andrew Wagner has overcome his brief stint of lunacy. Through these GM's, lives the spirit of the most sacred trophy's namesake, Albert Aglione. To use words to describe Albert (If I may so bold to call him by his first name) is really an impossible task. Let's just say he embodied the true spirit of RFL through his life philosophies and actions. With the addition of 5 other veteran GM's and 2 rookies, J. Veshia and K. Archibald, we may have assembled the greatest contingent of GM talent.

Through modern technology, RFL's domain now encompasses an entire country. To feel the affects, one must merely log onto the internet and be bombarded by RFL communication on a minutely basis. To truly appreciate its power, just think back to 1991 (RFL II) when Commissioner Callery used to handwrite the WIR by PENCIL during Electric Circuit Theory class. RFL GM's (and fans alike) would place dibs on the rights to have the first read.

RFL also displays a magnificent ethnic diversity with GM's from every race, religion, and creed. RFL WIR's, commentaries, and editorials have become a forum for discussing multi-ethnicity affairs, thus enabling us to understand each other all the more.

I would also like to give my vote of confidence to our commissioner/ self-proclaimed guru, Patrick Callery. Callery and myself have clashed many times over the years, especially when he used his WIR editorial priveleges to wrongly accuse me of supplying my players w/ performance enhancing drugs during my Aglione Bowl III winning season. Despite these blasphemous allegations, we have resolved all conflicts, and I appreciate the tremendous job he has done in maintaining league management while fostering growth during RFL's 7 year reign.

Though many don't know this, Callery has resisted many attemtps to overthrow his commissionership over the years. He fought off the coups of the radical IFEJ organization (Indians for Equal Justice) and the mudslinging campaigns of various commissioner hopefuls. We all know that Callery's dedication can not be equaled.

Why just the other day I was describing the painstaking efforts Callery goes through to a couple of female friends. "GOOD LORD", they exclaimed, "DOES HE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND???". To this, I responded w/ a slight chuckle and a little fact that perhaps many of you GM's don't even know. Everyone DOES know that Callery's reputation for ruthless womanizing proceeds him through the course of his travels. What most of you don't know is that every fall, Callery packs away his silk robes and scented body lotions, taking a vow of abstinency for the entire football season. Yes folks, this act portrays Callery's true dedication! Long live the commissioner! Long live RFL! See you at Aglione Bowl VII!!!!!!
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RFL ALL*STARS
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QB
12 John Elway (Globulants)

RB
12 Eddie George (Closet Cases)
9 Emmitt Smith (Store 24's), Barry Sanders (Romanians) & Edgar Bennett (Gnomes)

WR
15 Robert Brooks (Closet Cases)
12 Terance Mathis (Luscious Brods)

TE
12 Ken Dilger (Whippers)

PK
16 John Kasay (Ghost in a helmet)
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Week 2 total: 88

RFL ALL*STARS (Week 1:)
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QB
12 Brett Favre (Pistol Whippers)

RB
18 Terry Allen (HAWAAW)
12 Lawrence Phillips (Rampaging Gibb)

WR
12 Tim Brown (Rampaging Gibbons)
12 Herman Moore & Andre Reed (Digital Rectal)

TE
6 Wesley Walls (Rumbling Romanians), Shannon Sharpe (Digital Rectal) & Ben Coates (Digruntled Postal Wkrs)

PK
17 John Carney (Digital Rectal)
**************
Week 1 total: 89

These two ballclubs are managed by 2 of the league's 5 active original charter GMs, and are both entering their 7th season of RFL glory. Dave Brodkin has never finished more than a game below .500 and won Aglione Bowl III, Joe Pynadath has made the playoffs in 5 of his 6 RFL campaigns. The bond between these two men dates back to the first RFL season in 1990 when they co-GM'd the Citgo Bombers and shared a corner suite on legendary 12C of Warren Towers.

This week will be particularly interesting, as preseason #2 pick HAWAAW is missing 4 starters in the bye week; Luscious will go without 2 of their starters. Let's look at the potential matchups:

Joebob	Advantage	Brodz
???		Scott Mitchell
Terry Allen		Curtis Martin
Leonard Russell		Irving Spikes
K. McCardell		Michael Jackson
Vincent Brisby		Terry Glenn
Keith Byars		Irv Smith
????		Jason Hanson

Cals' pick: HAWAAW by 1, if they can acquire some quality reserves on the waivers wire. Luscious could find themselves in a BIG hole.

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All rights reserved.

Revised: September 25, 2000