Radio Frequency Listings Week 12 November 26, 2002 **** RFL WEEK IN REVIEW **** PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS AC Milan's win this week clinches the 2002 Steamroller trophy for Clark - to go along with his 2001 Aglione Bowl championship. League Founder, Commish #1, and Guru of the People Cals is the only other GM to have accomplished this feat. Cals' Cals Killer Cows won Aglione Bowl II - followed up by Z-Bomb's Steamroller title in 1992. Taking into account current records, current ppg averages, and remaining regular season opponents, here's how the records would look at the end of the regular season: 1) AC Milan 12-1-1 2) Las Ranas De Mayan 9-5 3) Repulsive Punk Asses 9-5 4) Ghetto Fab Bindys 8-6 5) Fat Bastards 8-6 6) Cleveland Steamers 8-6 7) Furious Gefilte Fish 8-6 8) Golden Years 7-6-1 -------- 9) Everyone Go Deep 7-7 10) Chinks in the Armor 6-7-1 11) The Kavir Dwellers 6-8 12) TheFreakinBlackHawks 6-8 13) Samurai Sumos 5-9 14) Raider Hater 4-9-1 15) Junior Mints 4-10 16) SPITZ34 3-11 All the teams currently "in" would stay in - there would only be some shuffling in the seeds. Cals would be the unlucky soul facing the AC Milan juggernaut in the quarterfinals. Shiv and Zach would face off to see who gets to lose to Clark in the semis. Stan, Richard, Vesh and Brodz would make up the other half of the bracket. BENCH TEAM! These guys' asses languished on their respective sides' pines last weekend: 16 K Detmer (AC Milan) 18 W Dunn (Las Ranas De Mayan) 10 T Wheatley (TheFreakinBlackHawks) 20 J Galloway (Raider Hater) 15 J Porter (GFB) and K Robinson (FGF) 4 B Miller (Fat Bastards) 11 M Vanderjagt (Furious Gefilte Fish) 94 points... 16-0 again! ... 188-3-1 through 12 weeks KMEL JAMS! Highest scoring team: AC Milan - 63.0 ppg Lowest scoring team: TheFreakinBlackHawks - 42.8 ppg Toughest defense: Repulsive Punk Asses - 39.8 ppg Softest defense: Raider Hater - 56.3 ppg League scoring average: 48.0 ppg (last year 37.3) Getting to the bloody point... on to WIR #12! --------------------------------------------- STANDINGS WXKS Kiss 108 FM Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Repulsive Punk Asses 8 4 0 2.5 524 478 W6 Golden Years 6 5 1 4 575 592 L2 Ghetto Fab Bindys 6 6 0 4.5 644 605 W1 Chinks in the Armor 4 7 1 6 588 595 L1 KLLC Alice at 97.3 Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK AC Milan 10 1 1 - 756 525 W2 Furious Gefilte Fish 8 4 0 2.5 536 530 L1 The Kavir Dwellers 5 7 0 5.5 560 628 W2 Spitz34 3 9 0 7.5 549 630 L3 WBCN 104.1 FM Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Las Ranas De Mayan 7 5 0 3.5 651 604 W2 TheFreakinBlackHawks 6 6 0 4.5 513 542 W1 Raider Hater 4 7 1 6 520 675 L1 Samurai Sumos 4 8 0 6.5 549 541 L2 KPOO 89.5 Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Cleveland Steamers 7 5 0 3.5 567 546 W1 Fat Bastards 6 6 0 4.5 592 586 W1 Everyone Go Deep 6 6 0 4.5 573 578 L1 Junior Mints 4 8 0 6.5 521 563 L2 -------------------------------------------- WEEK 12 IN REVIEW ***************** ************************** **** GAME OF THE WEEK **** ************************** Junior Mints 42 The Kavir Dwellers 58 pregame spread: JM by 3 Junior Mints had little chance to pull this one out in Monday Night Madness action. Joebob was down 10 with SF PK Chandler going up against Ali's Thrash and Akers. The Kavir Dwellers ended up netting an extra 6 on Monday night... giving Ali some hope at getting into the Playoffs - while essentially ending Joebob's hopes at losing a 3rd consecutive Ags Bowl. R Williams led Ali's caravan through the desert to victory this week - as he has done in 4 of Ali's 5 wins. Long-since-forgotten QB SMcNair led the Dwellers in Week 4 - just before Ali's 6-game losing streak. C Martin and D Northcutt led Junior Mints this week. Northcutt is Joebob's leading scorer over the last 2 weeks! Howard Stern subbed for Deuce in Joebob's backfield - as Junior Mints tried to change the game from football to lesbian Jeopardy. kerry 7 stern X martian 14 terry 3 n'cutt 12 booba 1 chandler 5 brunell 8 ricky 20 atwain 5 thrash 3 amani 12 wycheck 2 akers 8 -------------------------------------------- Ghetto Fab Bindys 65 Chinks in the Armor 39 pregame spread: GFB by 8 What the heck was Wang thinking - picking Ahman Green with the 2nd pick of the Draft?!? Priest Holmes was the obvious choice. Wang totally blew his season at the outset. A couple of bright spots for Chinks in the Armor are M Vick and W Green. Vick has blossomed into a fine RFL QB - and W Green has *FINALLY* apparently figured out what it means to be a starting RB in RFL. At pick #3, Shiv did a little better than Wang - passing up Priest in favor of Shaun Alexander. Shaun has put up 17 more pts than Ahman so far. And Wang's target in Round 2, R Gannon, QBed Ghetto Fab Bindys to this important victory - leveling Shiv's record at 6-6 and positioning GFB well for a postseason invite. The only question for Shiv: why the heck did he start D Mason over J Porter?!? gannon 15 alex'er 20 jlewis 5 mason 2 booker 9 chad 8 v'teri 6 vick 12 ahman 5 wgreen 12 moulds 1 key 4 mili 3 elam 2 -------------------------------------------- AC Milan 75 Furious Gefilte Fish 55 pregame spread: ACM by 10 As was expected, this matchup of the top 2 teams record-wise was not even close. Priest is a whopping 80 pts (!!) ahead of the 2nd place RB (R Williams). Throw in the combined 29 from T Green and Tiki, and this AC Milan starting backfield alone could outscore most 12-man rosters. As mentioned above, Clark clinched the 2002 Steamroller with this win. Clark will now face the jinx of #1 seeds getting upset in the quarterfinals of the Playoffs. Brodz got great news when T "Lame-ass" Jones broke his hand on his kitchen counter Sunday morning - but M Shipp's 14 wasn't nearly enough to stay competitive. S Beuerlein failed to fill the size 7 shoes of regular Furious Gefilte Fish QB Greasy. But Brodz still has a hold on the #2 seed - meaning he wouldn't have to face Clark again until potentially Aglione Bowl XIII. First scrub loss for Brodz (4-1)! Brodz "deserves" to be 5-7 instead of 8-4. trent 14 priest 35 tiki 15 horn 2 price 2 mcmike 0 mgram 7 b'lein 6 kevan 0 shipp 14 to 21 tholt 4 heap 2 edinger 8 -------------------------------------------- Fat Bastards 52 Samurai Sumos 21 pregame spread: FB by 9 Zach regained some solid footing regarding a spot in the postseason - while also claiming the Regent-of-Rookies title (having beaten Drew earlier in the season). The 38 Raider pts from Garner/Rice/Seabass matched their previous season high from Week 5. Fortunately for Fat Bastards, they would not need (or get) many pts from the other 4 starters this week - as Mike's Samurai Sumos mailed it in with a season-low 21. Mike had gone 7 consecutive weeks with 40+ pts, but the slight twist of D McNabb's ankle seemed to devastate the Sumos. D Brees clearly is no McNabb. And with a mere unlucky 7 from LaDainian and R Moss... Mike had no chance. Thanks to the 0s from Cory and Freddie, extra work was created for the WIR Staff - as they had to check gamebooks to make sure these jokers even played in their games. favre 7 egeorge 3 garner 15 rice 12 keenan 1 shockey 3 j-kow 11 brees 2 lt 2 pittman 3 rmoss 5 bradford 0 freddie 0 cahney 9 -------------------------------------------- Raider Hater 33 TheFreakinBlackHawks 67 pregame spread: RH by 11 TheFreakinBlackHawks were on the ropes... 3 straight losses, averaging a mere 29.3 ppg in those 3 games, dropping out of playoff contention with a 5-6 record and owning the lowest ppg average in the League. But JoePa's RBs came to play when he needed them most. S Davis' 23 and T Henry's dozen paved the way to a huge win - getting JoePa back in the thick of the Playoff hunt and knocking Raider Hater to the brink of mathematical elimination. Drew got nice games from his TE and PK, but was done in by a mere combined 11 from Peyton, MBennett, Chambers and Donte. These guys had not combined for so few pts all season long. Drew still had a shot at some Monday Night Madness, but Duce's trey was drowned out by a pair of 11s from Garcia and Pinkston. manning 5 bennett 3 duce 3 chambers 2 donte 1 alge 7 omare 12 garcia 11 sdavis 23 thenry 12 gardner 4 pinky 11 graham 1 wilkins 5 -------------------------------------------- Las Ranas De Mayan 60 Everyone Go Deep 41 pregame spread: LRDM by 1 C Dillon and J Stewart combined for Stan's biggest RB game of the season. At 7-5, Las Ranas De Mayan (being the 2nd highest scoring team in RFL) is now virtually assured of a Playoff spot. Other good news for Stan... D Culpepper's 2nd week of double digit pts (after 4 previous consecutive weeks of 5.25 ppg). The bad news... T Gonzalez has not scored more than 6 pts since Week 4. Also, Stan might need to shore up his WR position heading into the postseason. Gary's loss drops him to 6-6. Since Everyone Go Deep is a middle-of-the-road team scoring-wise, Gary will need to win his last 2 to be assured of a Playoff spot. Otherwise, EGD will need a little luck with what other teams finish 7-7. Gary's PK-scoring woes continue - 3 straight weeks with only 2 pts. And Gary might now have a QB problem - 6 straight weeks with less than 10 pts. c'pep 14 dillon 15 jstew 13 driver 7 streets 3 tonyg 3 feely 5 bledsoe 3 atrain 2 bus 17 harrison 6 coles 10 becht 1 bryant 2 -------------------------------------------- Repulsive Punk Asses 56 Golden Years 33 pregame spread: RPA by 2 After Week 6, Richard was 2-4 - with both of his wins being of the scrub variety. But from Week 7 through Week 12... Richard has come on strong with 6 consecutive wins - none of which being a scrub win. The keys to Richard's resurgence have been A Brooks, C Portis and H Ward. Brooks has averaged 12.2 ppg during this stretch, Portis 13 ppg, and Ward 14.3! With nearly 40 ppg coming from 3 starters, Richard only needs a healthy PK and a few pts from the other 3 starters to win. After a 4-game winning streak from Weeks 7-10 that had Cals sitting comfortably at 6-3-1, Golden Years has lost their last 2 and are now facing the possibility of losing 2 more to drop Cals out of a Playoff spot. Jim Rome subbed for M Faulk, but spent more time heckling J "Chrissy" Everett in the stands than trying to score for Cals. brooks 6 portis 17 smack 6 hines 15 muhsin 0 pollard 0 nedney 12 bj 10 rome X emmitt 10 tibrown 1 ibruce 5 jolley 1 mort 6 -------------------------------------------- SPITZ34 42 Cleveland Steamers 52 pregame spread: S34 by 4 The WIR Staff doesn't know about the rest of you... but we were hoping for more dramatics in this one. Perhaps the Steamers are down by 5 heading into Monday Night Madness action... Vesh has GHearst playing for a come-from-behind victory... late in the 4th quarter, Hearst is about to take it in for the Steamers win... when from out of nowhere, Brad runs out onto the Candlestick field, lights Hearst up like a Christmas tree (a huge cheer goes up from SF's Castro District), and saves the win for unlucky SPITZ34!!! But alas, Vesh was already up by 6 heading into MNF - where Hearst's 4 only meant that those betting the teaser on Brad ended up losers as well. Former Steamer WRs Smith and Smith played well, but the ironic twist in this contest was Edgerrin's 11 against his former boss Brad. Scrub win for Vesh (4-2). Zach's bench outscored Vesh's. Vesh "deserves" to be 5-7 instead of 7-5. warner 12 fredt 6 plax 2 jimmy 5 rod 10 ricks 0 hollis 7 brady 13 ejames 11 hearst 4 chadj 8 quincym 3 fauria 12 l'well 1 -------------------------------------------- Transactions Team ---- ADD ---- DROP look 'em up for yourself on yahoo! ******************************************************** WANG'S WEEKLY WRINKLE ====== ====== ======= Taking a look at the remaining regular season opponents for each team: 1) AC Milan 10-1-1 2) Furious Gefilte Fish 8-4 3) Repulsive Punk Asses 8-4 5) Las Ranas De Mayan 7-5 7) Cleveland Steamers 7-5 4) Golden Years 6-5-1 8) Ghetto Fab Bindys 6-6 9) Fat Bastards 6-6 6) Everyone Go Deep 6-6 10) TheFreakinBlackHawks 6-6 14) The Kavir Dwellers 5-7 11) Chinks in the Armor 4-7-1 12) Raider Hater 4-7-1 13) Samurai Sumos 4-8 15) Junior Mints 4-8 16) SPITZ34 3-9 -------- AC Milan: SPITZ34 and Cleveland Steamers clark should win both relatively easily. Furious Gefilte Fish: Chinks in the Armor and Samurai Sumos brodz is scoring less than these 2 opponents, but mike lost mcnabb. Repulsive Punk Asses: Cleveland Steamers and Junior Mints richard should lose and win. Las Ranas De Mayan: The Kavir Dwellers and Golden Years stan simply needs marshall to stay on the sidelines. Cleveland Steamers: Repulsive Punk Asses and AC Milan vesh should split and ease into postseason. Golden Years: Junior Mints and Las Ranas De Mayan cals simply needs marshall healthy. Ghetto Fab Bindys: Samurai Sumos and TheFreakinBlackHawks shiv should win both and enter playoffs on a roll. Fat Bastards: TheFreakinBlackHawks and Everyone Go Deep zach should win both, but will keep eye on raiders' schedule. Everyone Go Deep: Raider Hater and Fat Bastards gary needs to sweep rooks to get into postseason. TheFreakinBlackHawks: Fat Bastards and Ghetto Fab Bindys joepa most likely needs to sweep to get into playoffs. The Kavir Dwellers: Las Ranas De Mayan and Raider Hater ali needs to win both and put lots of pts on the board. Chinks in the Armor: Furious Gefilte Fish and SPITZ34 wang needs lots of help to get into playoffs. Raider Hater: Everyone Go Deep and The Kavir Dwellers drew needs even more help than wang. Samurai Sumos: Ghetto Fab Bindys and Furious Gefilte Fish might be still alive mathematically, but it's spoiler role time basically. Junior Mints: Golden Years and Repulsive Punk Asses does joebob want to knock cals out of the playoffs? SPITZ34: AC Milan and Chinks in the Armor brad's team looks nice now, but 3 scrub losses in first 6 weeks (should have started 3-3 instead of 0-6) basically wiped out season. ****************************************************** RFL GM Profiles: David Wang, GM - Chinks in the Armor ****************************************************** RFL WIR Editorial Staff: You led Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant to a 13-1 record and the Steamroller last season - only to lose in the quarterfinals. And now you will not make the Playoffs this season. What gives? David Wang: F$%& off! RFL: There's no need to get pissy! DW: [boxes interviewer's ears; storms out of interview room] This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR. ******************************************************** SEASON POINTS LEADERS ********************* QB 154 D McNabb (Samurai Sumos) 147 R Gannon (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 127 P Manning (Raider Hater) 127 D Culpepper (Las Ranas De Mayan) RB 215 P Holmes (AC Milan) 135 R Williams (The Kavir Dwellers) 134 L Tomlinson (Samurai Sumos) 132 D McAllister (Junior Mints) 130 S Alexander (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 127 M Faulk (Golden Years) 127 T Henry (TheFreakinBlackHawks) WR 126 T Owens (Furious Gefilte Fish) 121 H Ward (Repulsive Punk Asses) 117 M Harrison (Everyone Go Deep) 87 J Horn (AC Milan) 87 J Rice (Fat Bastards) 86 E Moulds (Chinks in the Armor) TE 63 T Gonzalez (Las Ranas De Mayan) 46 B Franks (Junior Mints) 42 S Sharpe (Cleveland Steamers) PK 100 D Akers (The Kavir Dwellers) 97 M Andersen (Golden Years) 94 J Feely (Las Ranas De Mayan) -------------------------------------------- RFL ALL*STARS ************* QB 15 R Gannon (Ghetto Fab Bindys) RB 35 P Holmes (AC Milan) 23 S Davis (TheFreakinBlackHawks) WR 21 T Owens (Furious Gefilte Fish) 15 H Ward (Repulsive Punk Asses) TE 12 C Fauria (Cleveland Steamers) PK 12 O Mare (Raider Hater) and J Nedney (Repulsive Punk Asses) ************** Week 12 total: 133... ba ba booey -------------------------------------------- NEXT WEEK's ACTION **** GAME **** OF **** THE **** WEEK **** 1-Golden Years (6-5-1, 47.9) vs. 13-Junior Mints (4-8, 43.4) Cals Edge Joebob BJohnson -- KCollins MFaulk <- DMcAllister ESmith -> CMartin TiBrown <- TGlenn IBruce <- DNorthcutt DJolley -> BFranks MAndersen <- JChandler Once again... it's time for the Glamorous Guru Game. Unfortunately... the Guru of the People and the Self-proclaimed Guru have combined for a sub-.500 record this season. Cals should still be able to back his way into the Playoffs (provided he at least win this game), but Joebob will be looking to win some games in the Scrub Bowl tournament. A major factor in this contest is RB injuries. Both M Faulk and D McAllister sat out their games last week, but both should presumably be healthy enough this weekend to attempt to help the Rams and Saints climb back into their respective playoffs hunts. Golden Years QB BJ was also roughed up a little last week, but Cals has a capable backup in Tim Sofa. Cals' final 2 concerns are an Emmitt who is being phased out of the Dallas picture and a *wildly* revolving door at TE. Odds are that Jolley will not be cashing a paycheck from Cals this weekend. Joebob's concerns are at WR. While Cals' pairing of Tim Brown and I Bruce is due for a big game... Junior Mints will be trying to find 2 starters from among the dress-wearing TGlenn, the due-for-a-0 DNorthcutt, the more-cold-than-hot EKennison, the all-he-does-is-rest-in-hospital-beds CCarter, the DWoodson-Xmas-tree DJackson, and the locked-up SSmith. **** Joebob will never be loved like Cals, Golden Years by 7 **** -------------------------------------------- Other Tilts: 8-Furious Gefilte Fish (8-4, 44.7) by 4 over 2-Chinks in the Armor (4-7-1, 49.0) Brodz has Shipp and TO leading the way. Wang has William Green and I Mili. 7-AC Milan (10-1-1, 63.0) by 11 over 6-Spitz34 (3-9, 45.8) Clark needs to avoid injuries. Brad has a shot at a nice notch on the bedpost. 3-Ghetto Fab Bindys (6-6, 53.7) by 2 over 9-Samurai Sumos (4-8, 45.8) Shiv is due to have a bad game. Mike's O is now tied to the Bolts (Brees and LT) - not good. 15-Fat Bastards (6-6, 49.3) by 12 over 10-TheFreakinBlackHawks (6-6, 42.8) Zach's Raiders face the J-E-T-S on Monday night. JoePa aims to prove last week wasn't a mirage. 14-Everyone Go Deep (6-6, 47.8) by 3 over 11-Raider Hater (4-7-1, 43.3) Gary should get back into the low 50s. Drew has scored more than 49 only twice so far. 12-Las Ranas De Mayan (7-5, 54.3) by 1 over 5-The Kavir Dwellers (5-7, 46.7) Stan seems to have fixed his frogs over the last 2 weeks. Ali is actually outperforming Stan over the last 4 weeks. 4-Repulsive Punk Asses (8-4, 43.7) by 5 over 16-Cleveland Steamers (7-5, 47.3) Richard has been rock steady during his 6-game winning streak - scoring between 47 and 59 all 6 weeks. Vesh has been between 24 and 76 during the same period.