Ready For Landing Week 8 October 29, 2002 **** RFL WEEK IN REVIEW **** Stan takes the keys to the WIR. I swear I had a better one guys, but it's lost forever in a temp file graveyard. Anyway, the Big Bad Woofs softball team, for which I am the third baseman, go for their 12th straight loss against no wins tomorrow against what seems to be a bunch of firefighters or something. This is our best shot at a win. Scarier things have happened on Oct. 31 so who knows? BENCH TEAM! These guys' glowered menacingly at the GMs of their respective while riding the pine last weekend: 13 J Plummer (AC Milan) 15 W Dunn (Las Ranas De Mayan) 15 A Zereoue (Everyone Go Deep) 17 D Mason (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 10 J Smith (Spitz34) 4 J Shockey (Fat Bastards) 4 A Vinatieri (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 78 points... 16-0 ... 124-3-1 through 8 weeks Meticulously Presented Stats: Highest scoring team: AC Milan - 64.9 ppg Lowest scoring team: Repulsive Punk Asses - 39.0 ppg Toughest defense: Repulsive Punk Asses - 41.3 ppg Softest defense: SPITZ34 - 57.1 ppg League scoring average: 48.7 ppg (last year 37.3) Now Arriving at Austin Bergstrom International Airport, Gate 8.the WIR! -------------------------------------------- STANDINGS Seat Backs Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Golden Years 4 3 1 3 406 393 W2 Ghetto Fab Bindys 4 4 0 3.5 443 415 L2 Repulsive Punk Asses 4 4 0 3.5 312 330 W2 Chinks in the Armor 2 6 0 5.5 375 391 L2 Tray Tables Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK AC Milan 7 0 1 - 519 352 W2 Furious Gefilte Fish 6 2 0 1.5 377 347 W3 The Kavir Dwellers 3 5 0 4.5 360 450 L4 Spitz34 2 6 0 5.5 383 457 W2 Portable Electronic Devices Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Las Ranas De Mayan 5 3 0 2.5 476 417 L2 TheFreakinBlackHawks 5 3 0 2.5 358 361 W1 Raider Hater 3 5 0 4.5 342 433 W1 Samurai Sumos 2 6 0 5.5 386 367 L1 Seat Belts Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Cleveland Steamers 5 3 0 2.5 375 360 L1 Fat Bastards 4 4 0 3.5 397 408 L3 Everyone Go Deep 4 4 0 3.5 376 359 L1 Junior Mints 3 5 0 4.5 344 389 W1 -------------------------------------------- WEEK 8 IN REVIEW **************** ****************************************** **** GAME OF THE WEEK OF THE PEOPLE **** ****************************************** AC Milan 72 Las Ranas De Mayan 65 pregame spread: ACM by 2 Scrub loss for Stan (1-3) The frogs were doing well until Fauria caught another meaningless TD for New England and then Tiki put AC Milan over the top on Monday night. Even when the Giants stink up the joint (with increasing frequency), at least Clark can take comfort in knowing Tiki will still perform. Call it the Dillon effect. Meanwhile, the frogs had a balanced attack in the loss, scoring the 2nd highest point total this week with the help of super WR sub Kevin Dyson and a rediscovered JStewart. tgreen 8 priest 16 tiki 9 horn 9 price 11 fauria 7 mgram 12 c-pep 8 dillon 14 jstew 13 kevj'son 4 dyson 10 tonyg 3 feely 13 ****************************************** **** GAME OF THE WEEK OF THE DICTATOR **** ****************************************** Ghetto Fab Bindys 46 Furious Gefilte Fish 56 pregame spread: GFB by 3 Brodz' brilliant name change energized his team to a big win and 2nd place in the league. Although no one in the Bay Area is likely to know what Gefilte Fish is, they do know Owens and Barlow, who carried our furiously fighting, frighteningly flavorful finned friends to victory. Derrick Mason must have been averse to the sublime flavor of the tasty fish balls as he never made it into the game. SAlexander came back for a big game for the Bindys gannon 9 shaun 17 jlewis 4 booker 10 porter 3 clewis 2 edinger 1 greasy 7 kevan 17 ed 6 to 19 koren 1 heap 5 v-jagt 1 -------------------------------------------- Chinks in the Armor 37 Junior Mints 51 pregame spread: CitA by 4 Deuce may have been driving without a license the next day, but on Sunday he nearly single-handedly drove the tasty movie snacks to victory. My sources have told me in recent years that orange is the new pink, used is the new new, and now Vick is the new Culpepper. Good thing, as Keyshawn remains a distracting head case and W. Green continues to disappoint despite being thrust into starting duty for the Asian Guys and/or Dents in the Armor. My lame white ass cannot officially proclaim Dave's team name as clever and funny, but my sources at Say Hi Market (who sell me kaffir lime leaves on the yellow market), tell me it's brilliant. vick 20 wgreen 0 finneran 3 moulds 7 keyshawn 1 roland 0 elam 6 kerry 5 deuce 27 martian 5 djax 2 derrius 3 riemersma 1 cortez 8 -------------------------------------------- Samurai Sumos 45 Golden Years 52 pregame spread: SS by 10 I hope I never run into a samurai sumo in a dark alley, because that, my friends, is what grandpa would call a "double whammy". R. Moss seems to be back to his productive ways, and the sumos were a tough match for Golden Years this week, but everlasting Emmitt and no longer sleeper sofa T. Couch came through. Rumor has it the league office is investigating the use of a unit of time as a team name. It would seem to be a violation of strict RFL policy, and tuck in that shirt! mcnabb 16 pittman 2 dez 3 rmoss 13 bradford 0 freddie 2 cahney 9 sofa 14 emmitt 12 jamel 3 tibrown 8 adavis 7 k-saucer 0 mort 8 -------------------------------------------- TheFreakinBlackHawks 48 The Kavir Dwellers 37 pregame spread: TFBH by 8 The Hawks get a good kicking game and a vintage performance from JGarcia to knock off the denizens of the desert. Travis Henry continues to perform despite being in a passing attack offense. Ali got a lucky 14 from McNair and Antawain seems to be the offensive focus again, but the duo of trash and toomer put up a paltry 4 points combined on Monday Night. garcia 17 sdavis 4 thenry 15 pathon 1 pinkston 1 jdavis 0 dawson 10 mcnair 14 atwain 9 manderson 1 thrash 4 amani 0 wycheck 0 akers 9 -------------------------------------------- Everyone Go Deep 32 Repulsive Punk Asses 47 pregame spread: EGD by 9 Other than Laverneous, no one really went deep for Gary, but benchwarmers Blake and Zereoue for Bledsoe and Brown would have made the difference. Richard got another big game from ABrooks and Clinton Portis is finally the man in Denver, that is until another Georgia back wanders into the Broncos practice facility. bledsoe 9 atrain 1 trbrown 3 harrison 4 lcoles 9 byron 1 hanson 5 abrooks 13 portis 18 alstott 0 hines 5 smoss 7 walls 0 stover 4 -------------------------------------------- Raider Hater 45 Cleveland Steamers 28 pregame spread: RH by 1 Scrub win for Drew (2-1) Vesh's team dropped a real Cleveland Steamer this week, dropping a RFL-of-old 28 points this week. You gotta love a Raider Hater, and Drew got a balanced attack from his team to stay in contention for the playoffs. peyton 16 duce 9 mbennett 7 boston 5 donte 1 alge 3 bgram 4 brady 5 edgerrin 9 hearst 2 quincy 2 bates 0 sharpe 7 bryant 3 -------------------------------------------- Fat Bastards 36 Spitz34 50 pregame spread: FB by 6 Yawn.sorry guys.getting tired. Spitz34 wins. carr 8 egeorge 6 cgarner 6 rice 2 branch 0 miller 10 j-kow 4 p'ton 9 fredt 5 tjones 10 rod 3 plax 15 pollard 2 hollis 6 -------------------------------------------- Transactions Team ---- ADD ---- DROP look 'em up for yourself on yahoo! ******************************************************** WILSON'S WISTFUL WORDS ====== ====== ======= Vote people. You have to do it. Too much is hanging in the balance not to. ************************************************* RFL GM Profiles: Air ************************************************* RFL WIR Editorial Staff: All hail Air. This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR (and Air, or the heir to Air). ******************************************************** SEASON POINTS LEADERS ********************* QB 114 D McNabb (Samurai Sumos) 99 A Brooks (Repulsive Punk Asses) 97 R Gannon (Ghetto Fab Bindys) RB 158 P Holmes (AC Milan) 111 D McAllister (Junior Mints) 104 M Faulk (Golden Years) 103 T Henry (TheFreakinBlackHawks) 101 L Tomlinson (Samurai Sumos) 89 S Alexander (Ghetto Fab Bindys) WR 73 E Moulds (Chinks in the Armor) 68 T Owens (Furious Gefilte Fish) 67 J Horn (AC Milan) 64 M Booker (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 58 C Conway (Las Ranas De Mayan) 58 M Harrison (Everyone Go Deep) TE 59 T Gonzalez (Las Ranas De Mayan) 42 S Sharpe (Cleveland Steamers) 31 R McMichael (AC Milan) PK 79 M Andersen (Golden Years) 67 J Elam (Chinks in the Armor) 65 R Longwell (Cleveland Steamers) 65 J Feely (Las Ranas De Mayan) -------------------------------------------- RFL ALL*STARS ************* QB 20 M Vick (Chinks in the Armor) RB 27 D McAllister (Junior Mints) 18 C Portis (Repulsive Punk Asses) WR 19 T Owens (Furious Gefilte Fish) 15 P Burress (Spitz34) TE 10 B Miller (Fat Bastards) PK 13 J Feely (Las Ranas De Mayan) ************** Week 8 total: 122... Notice only T. Owens was an all star last season. It's called parity people! -------------------------------------------- NEXT WEEK's ACTION **** GAME **** OF **** THE **** WEEK **** 8-Furious Gefilte Fish (6-2, 47.1) by 6 over 4-Repulsive Punk Asses (4-4, 39.0) Brodz could take over 1st this week, while Richard tries to get above .500 and hang with the playoff group. Brodz is going without Griese and McCaffrey this week, but should pull one out against Richard, who has troubles at RB this week. Edge Anthony Michael Hall as Johnny B. Good <- Harrington (Richard will find someone better than Harrington on the waiver wire) H. Ward -> Holt S. Moss >> Owens M. Alstott -> Barlow W. Chrebet -> R. Williams 2 K. Brady -> Heap M. Stover <- Vanderjagt **** **** -------------------------------------------- Other Tilts: 12-Las Ranas De Mayan (5-3, 59.5) by 10 over 2-Chinks in the Armor (2-6, 46.9) Stan's receivers are back. No contest. 11-Raider Hater (3-5, 42.8) by 2 over 7-AC Milan (7-0-1, 64.9) The best opportunity to throw a loss at AC Milan. Bye week hits Clark hard and Drew is at nearly full strength. 9-Samurai Sumos (2-6, 48.3) by 3 over 13-Junior Mints (3-5, 43.0) JoePy is relying too heavily on a low scoring GB-MIA game. 1-Golden Years (4-3-1, 50.8) by 1 over 10-TheFreakinBlackHawks (5-3, 44.8) Emmit and Jamel should be the difference here. Stephen Davis is risky for JoePa. 14-Everyone Go Deep (4-4, 47.0) by 1 over 5-The Kavir Dwellers (3-5, 45.0) Ali has WR woes, EGD seems to be at full strength. 15-Fat Bastards (4-4, 49.6) by 3 over 16-Cleveland Steamers (5-3, 46.9) An OAK-HOU heavy squad (HOU plays CIN) should be the difference here. Brady is in a slump (aka reality) for Vesh. 3-Ghetto Fab Bindys (4-4, 55.4) by ? over 6-Spitz34 (2-6, 47.9) Spitz34 actually loks to be a high scoring team this week, with high TD potential at every position.