Redhead Forehead Lovehead Week 7 October 23, 2002 **** RFL WEEK IN REVIEW **** WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ESLAMBOLCHI?!? Of course Wang did not mind when Ali failed to fill 2 roster spots in their matchup 2 weekends ago... but now that Ali has sent out a total of 3 players against the rejuvenated Samurai Sumos side, Wang has launched a full-on investigation regarding the whereabouts of the GM of the former Steamroller + Aglione Bowl champions of 2000. Of course... results of this investigation are not due until The Kavir Dwellers drop below Chinks in the Armor in the standings. BENCH TEAM! These guys' asses languished on their respective sides' pines last weekend: 15 M Vick (Chinks in the Armor) and D Brees (Samurai Sumos) 14 TJ Duckett (Raider Hater) 9 M Anderson (The Kavir Dwellers) 11 A Bryant (Chinks in the Armor) 10 Q Morgan (Spitz34) 2 B Chamberlain (Everyone Go Deep) 10 P Dawson (TheFreakinBlackHawks) 71 points... 14-2 :-( ... 108-3-1 through 7 weeks HEAD FOR THE HILLS! Highest scoring team: AC Milan - 63.9 ppg Lowest scoring team: Repulsive Punk Asses - 37.9 ppg Toughest defense: AC Milan - 41.0 ppg Softest defense: SPITZ34 - 60.1 ppg League scoring average: 48.9 ppg (last year 37.3) Getting to the bloody point... on to WIR #7! -------------------------------------------- STANDINGS Headhunters Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Ghetto Fab Bindys 4 3 0 2.5 397 359 L1 Golden Years 3 3 1 3 354 348 W1 Chinks in the Armor 2 5 0 4.5 338 340 L1 Repulsive Punk Asses 2 5 0 4.5 265 298 W1 Headmaster Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK AC Milan 6 0 1 - 447 287 W1 The Tards of Bas 5 2 0 1.5 321 301 W2 The Kavir Dwellers 3 4 0 3.5 323 402 L3 Spitz34 1 6 0 5.5 333 421 W1 Head Coach Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Las Ranas De Mayan 5 2 0 1.5 411 345 L1 TheFreakinBlackHawks 4 3 0 2.5 310 324 L1 Samurai Sumos 2 5 0 4.5 341 315 W2 Raider Hater 2 5 0 4.5 297 405 L4 Head of the Charles Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Cleveland Steamers 5 2 0 1.5 347 315 W3 Fat Bastards 4 3 0 2.5 361 358 L2 Everyone Go Deep 4 3 0 2.5 344 312 W1 Junior Mints 2 5 0 4.5 293 352 L2 -------------------------------------------- WEEK 7 IN REVIEW **************** ************************** **** GAME OF THE WEEK **** ************************** Las Ranas De Mayan 50 Cleveland Steamers 76 pregame spread: LRDM by 5 Vesh responded to the pressure of his initial GOTW appearance this season with a resounding humbling of Stan's Las Ranas De Mayan. Froggy J Stewart filled in quite capably for C Dillon, but Vesh was able to conjure up the S Sharpe of '96 or '98 - to grab the TE spotlight away from Tony G for once. The transplanted Sumo RB tandem of J Bettis and G Hearst also came up big for Vesh. Stan's passing game really let him down - and if you somehow overlooked Sharpe's double dozen, Vesh's passing game was also quite lame. Despite charges of tampering against #2i (for warning Vesh about the inactive status of Fiddler), Vesh *still* did not look to the NFL's free agent pool to nab a starting QB - choosing instead to go with Max Headroom. Scrub loss for Stan (1-2). c'pep 6 jstew 23 jwells 1 cconway 3 ddriver 2 tonyg 3 jfeely 12 headroom X bus 13 hearst 19 rod 5 jimmy 3 sharpe 24 l'well 12 -------------------------------------------- Golden Years 70 Chinks in the Armor 57 pregame spread: GY by 8 Marshall, Marshall, Marshall... Wang saved you from the scrapheap of RFL - taking you *late* in the 1st round of the 1999 Draft. Wang dusted you off. Wang gave you the damn ball. You helped carry Ferocious Underwear to the Aglione Bowl. Though it's true Wang cut your ass the day before the Big Game... Wang knew the Rams had nothing to play for that last week of the season. So *what* if Wang went with Byron (Goose-eggs) Hanspard in your place - as Patrick Jeffers carried FU to Ags Bowl glory?!? Is this any way to treat the GM who resurrected your career?!? And to top it all off... Cals threw in Kleinsaucer to further emphasize his domination in the Commish vs. Commish series. Scrub loss for Wang (0-2). sofa 5 faulk 37 jamel 11 tibrown 4 ibruce 3 k'sasser 0 mort 10 bulger 8 ahman 23 finneran 0 moulds 10 keyshawn 2 ejohnson 1 elam 13 -------------------------------------------- AC Milan 73 Junior Mints 44 pregame spread: ACM by 18 After a minor pothole last week on his road to the Steamroller/Ags Bowl double dip this season, Clark got right back on his horse this week. AC Milan's J Horn finally had his first really strong outing of the season. And Priest nearly single-handedly matched the combined big number from Junior Mints' favorite Martian and Deuce. When you lose by 29, there are plenty of things that went wrong. But all Joebob had to see was how Peerless' 1 pt for Clark was enough to match the Jr Mint output from D Jackson, T Glenn and Booba F. Maddox outdueled Lucas by 2 in the matchup of QBs who don't belong in RFL starting roles. maddox 9 priest 26 moe 7 jhorn 18 price 1 mcmike 8 mgram 4 lucas 7 cmartin 11 deuce 16 djax 0 tglenn 0 booba 1 cortez 9 -------------------------------------------- Samurai Sumos 67 The Kavir Dwellers 15 pregame spread: SS by 25 When you start only 3 players in an RFL game, their names had better be McNabb, Faulk and Holmes. The Kavir Dwellers didn't have any of those 3 guys - while Mike had McNabb and the 3rd best RB (LaDainian). Actually... all Mike needed to win this one was Corey Bradford - a WR on the expansion Texans. How ridiculous is that?!? Thankfully for the Sumo Samurais... LT, CB and JC were able to *more* than make up for subpar performances from McNabb, Pittman, R Moss and Freddie. Though for Pittman, Moss and Freddie... perhaps we *are* seeing par - as their handicaps seem to warrant recalculating. Subbing in for Air, Antowain, Amani and Frank were the Talking Heads - David Byrne, Jerry Harrison, Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth. Ali has stopped making sense. mcnabb 11 lt 22 pittman 2 rmoss 5 bradford 16 freddie 0 cahney 11 david X rw''ms 6 jerry X thrash 1 chris X tina X akers 8 -------------------------------------------- Everyone Go Deep 44 TheFreakinBlackHawks 38 pregame spread: EGD by 7 Gary captured 2002's Master of MIT trophy with this win over JoePa. Both JoePa and Gary had beaten Wang earlier this season. After 2 seasons of not-too-bad WR production, JoePa's anti-Midas touch with WRs has resurfaced this season. Aside from a few decent games, J Pathon and J Morton and R Gardner have underwhelmed. But perhaps this lack of WR production can be traced back to TheFreakinBlackHawk QB J Garcia. Garcia is currently in 9th among QBs - not exactly the kind of production JoePa was looking for with the #10 pick of the Draft. Gary's got trip-11s from A Train, Laveranues and Hanson. Mix in Bledsoe's 6 - and Gary was sipping Red White and Blue suds from the Master of MIT Mug. L Smith is accelerating his exit from the Panther starting lineup. And Winona has seemed to've mastered the "Artful Dodger" lesson from Laveranues. Scrub win for Gary (2-0). bledsoe 6 atrain 11 lsmith 1 harrison 4 coles 11 becht 0 hanson 11 garcia 9 sdavis 5 thenry 7 pathon 3 morton 1 jdavis 0 wilkins 13 -------------------------------------------- Spitz34 57 Raider Hater 26 pregame spread: S34 by 1 Brad saw the opportunity to finally crack into the win column, and he certained seized that opportunity. When Chad P'ton matches P Manning pt for pt for you, something good has got to happen. F Taylor managed to avoid catastrophic injury for 1 more week - as he led Spitz34 (?) with a Montana. Pennington and Pollard also went the whole 9 for Brad. From what little we were able to see on Monday Night, Edgerrin looked like he was running well, but the production is simply not coming. Edgerrin is currently 20th among RFL RBs! No Raider Hater was able to crack double digits this week - as Rookie GM Drew's squad was paced by Peyton's 9. D Boston was 2nd in scoring - and the sad thing is... Boston's 6 was his 2nd highest total of the season (6 starts)! Boston now has 28 total pts - good enough to tie him at #22 among RFL WRs with the equally disappointing J Smith. Hedwig (Harry Potter's owl) suited up for young Drew at split end - replacing the concussed C Chambers. pen'ton 9 edge 7 fredt 16 plax 4 muhsin 1 marvcus 9 hollis 11 manning 9 bennett 3 hedwig X galloway 2 boston 6 alge 2 omare 4 -------------------------------------------- The Tards of Bas 47 Fat Bastards 23 pregame spread: TToB by 2 The Tards of Bas is the 2nd team to've been led in scoring by their TE this week - and neither team is the employer of Tony G. Add decent games from Greasy and TO to Heap's 14, and Brodz had the recipe for a win over the sinking Fat Bastards. Zach's Raiders were held in check for the 2nd week in a row - this time by Mike's beloved Chargers (adding many insults to roomie Zach's misery). Brodz' 2 Niners also averaged 1/3 of a pt more than Zach's beloved Raider starters - rubbing a little extra sea salt into Zach's wounds. No, "JReed" in Zach's starting lineup did not mark the return of Cals' protege Jake. This J was Josh. The point total is applicable to either, though. And Seabass really sucks. Perhaps Al Davis will finally let the FBI, ATF, CIA, OPD and INS have their way with him. Scrub win for Brodz (2-0). greasy 13 kevan 3 mccaffrey 0 to 9 torry 4 heap 14 v-jagt 4 favre 1 cgarner 5 jreed 0 keenan 1 jrice 11 brady 2 j-kow 3 -------------------------------------------- Ghetto Fab Bindys 38 Repulsive Punk Asses 59 pregame spread: GFB by 17 Hmmm... how does a 17-pt favorite get drilled by 19?!? Shaun Alexander scoring 1 pt is one way. Blocking up 2 starting spots with Az-Zahir and Chad is another. Letting A Brooks outscore R Gannon by 5 is a 3rd. Letting the *other* Moss match MarTay Booker is #4. Letting R Dudley score - period - is #5. And giving up 26 to "the prez" and "57" is #6. Shiv really stunk up the Ghetto this week - ruining his 73.7 ppg average over the previous 3 weeks. Perhaps the Bindys will now head towards their expected finishing position - out of the playoffs. Richard still has the lowest scoring team in the League. But even if S Moss takes the "other" out of his "the other Moss" moniker, Richard will still be playing 7-card stud week-to-week with 5 cards. gannon 16 jlewis 7 shalex'er 1 booker 6 az 0 chad 0 edinger 8 abrooks 21 alstott 0 cportis 10 hines 16 smoss 6 dudley 1 stover 5 -------------------------------------------- Transactions Team ---- ADD ---- DROP look 'em up for yourself on yahoo! ******************************************************** WANG'S WEEKLY WRINKLE ====== ====== ======= THIS IS LAME GMs not coming up with original team names... we guess that can be expected from time to time. GMs getting "fooled" by the tricky starting lineup interface of yahoo.com... no big surprise. GMs not volunteering to contribute to the WIR... a time-honored tradition. A GM not managing his team since Draft Day... that's totally inexcusable. And Clark even had to make Ali's last pick or 2 for him! But if anyone had said way back when that Ali would not touch his roster since Draft Day, plenty would have leapt to Ali's defense. Ali has a quality history of RFL participation. Ali paid his dues with unspectacular '98 and '99 seasons. Ali won the both the Steamroller and Ags Bowl in 2000 - feat accomplished only 2 other times in RFL's 12-year history. Yes, the League was prepared to drop to 14 GMs this season. And had the League known that certain GMs would not have the proper respect for the League, they would have been asked to part with their membership. The League doesn't want to "tamper" with Ali's performances against future opponents this season... but have some common sense and some respect for the League! If something (like grad school?!?) prevents you from managing your RFL team in the future, find someone to take over the reins for you! And seriously... since when did grad school get so time-consuming as to where you didn't have time to maintain an RFL franchise?!? ************************************************* RFL GM Profiles: Joshua Veshia, GM, Cleveland Steamers ************************************************* RFL WIR Editorial Staff: Vesh has apparently found Ali - and Lance Harry. This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR. ******************************************************** SEASON POINTS LEADERS ********************* QB 98 D McNabb (Samurai Sumos) 88 R Gannon (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 86 A Brooks (Repulsive Punk Asses) RB 142 P Holmes (AC Milan) 104 M Faulk (Golden Years) 101 L Tomlinson (Samurai Sumos) 88 R Williams (The Kavir Dwellers) 88 T Henry (TheFreakinBlackHawks) 84 D McAllister (Junior Mints) WR 66 E Moulds (Chinks in the Armor) 58 C Conway (Las Ranas De Mayan) 58 J Horn (AC Milan) 54 M Harrison (Everyone Go Deep) 54 M Booker (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 51 H Ward (Repulsive Punk Asses) TE 56 T Gonzalez (Las Ranas De Mayan) 35 S Sharpe (Cleveland Steamers) 31 R McMichael (AC Milan) PK 71 M Andersen (Golden Years) 65 R Longwell (Cleveland Steamers) 61 J Elam (Chinks in the Armor) -------------------------------------------- RFL ALL*STARS ************* QB 21 A Brooks (Repulsive Punk Asses) RB 37 M Faulk (Golden Years) 26 P Holmes (AC Milan) WR 18 J Horn (AC Milan) 16 C Bradford (Samurai Sumos) and H Ward (Repulsive Punk Asses) TE 24 S Sharpe (Cleveland Steamers) PK 13 J Elam (Chinks in the Armor) and J Wilkins (TheFreakinBlackHawks) ************** Week 7 total: 155... Off with her head! -------------------------------------------- NEXT WEEK's ACTION **** GAME **** OF **** THE **** WEEK **** 3-Ghetto Fab Bindys (4-3, 56.7) vs. 8-The Tards of Bas (5-2, 45.9) Shiv Edge Brodz RGannon <- BGriese SAlexander << KBarlow JLewis <- EMcCaffrey MBooker -> TOwens DMason <- KRobinson CLewis -> THeap AVinatieri -> MVanderjagt Shiv had a stranglehold on an invite to the postseason last week. That grip is slipping - and could be nearly lost completely with another loss this week. Brodz's team has been rather "lucky" to currently rank 4th in the standings - and yet rank 12th in points scored! Shiv is 4-3 - and yet has only seen Shaun Alexander score more than 12 pts once in 6 starts. Jamal Lewis and Marty Booker have been nice surprises for Shiv. Gannon has been clutch - usually. Brodz has not had his vaunted passing attack really explode in any game. With Greasy-TO-Holt-McCaffrey in the lineup, you'd think they could combine for at least 40 pts nearly every week. They've only hit 39 once. Gannon should win the QB matchup. He faces KC - while Greasy takes on the Pats. Barlow would do well to stay within 15 of Alexander. McCaffrey is merely 1 pt behind R Moss. But R Moss is 4 pts behind J Galloway! Shiv's Booker and Mason should be able to equal Brodz' TO and Koren. Brodz looks to have an advantage at TE and PK. **** Shiv should be slightly more fabulous this Sunday, Bindys by 3 **** -------------------------------------------- Other Tilts: 2-Chinks in the Armor (2-5, 48.3) by 4 over 13-Junior Mints (2-5, 41.9) Wang will be missing Ahman. Joebob benefits from being forced to sub for TGlenn and Booba. 7-AC Milan (6-0-1, 63.9) by 2 over 12-Las Ranas De Mayan (5-2, 58.7) How will Clark's Priest fare against OAK? How will Stan's JStew fare against BUF? 9-Samurai Sumos (2-5, 48.7) by 10 over 1-Golden Years (3-3-1, 50.6) No LaDainian for Mike. No Marshall or Isaac for Cals. 10-TheFreakinBlackHawks (4-3, 44.3) by 8 over 5-The Kavir Dwellers (3-4, 46.1) JoePa is "all systems go" this week. Ali is without Ricky Williams. 14-Everyone Go Deep (4-3, 49.1) by 9 over 4-Repulsive Punk Asses (3-4, 37.9) Gary has Laveranues and Becht. Richard has S Moss. I guess whoever has more Jets wins? 11-Raider Hater (2-5, 42.4) by 1 over 16-Cleveland Steamers (5-2, 49.6) Drew should have more talent to pick from. Vesh needs an overhaul. 15-Fat Bastards (4-3, 51.6) by 6 over 6-Spitz34 (1-6, 47.6) Zach's beloved Raiders should go large against KC. Brad's passing game is key.