Regain Focus Later Week 3 September 24, 2002 **** RFL WEEK IN REVIEW **** WHAT'S MY EXCUSE THIS TIME? Mike and Zach were gracious enough to host #2 at their humble abode on Sunday morning for French toast, bacon, and free-per-view NFL Sunday Ticket. As Wang watched Mike's DMcNabb run up the score on the 'Boyz-without-hap, he began contemplating, "What is going to be my excuse for my 0-3 start?" First came the working overseas/jetlag/driving on the wrong side of the road train of thought. But this "out" had already been hinted upon in WIR1. Then came the too much work/fantasy baseball world series/time(-and money)-sink female friend line of reasoning. But this excuse had already been mentioned in WIR2. Fresh out of excuses... Wang's mind turned to thoughts of a scapegoat. The offense was underperforming, so perhaps Denny Green should be let go - and Tony Dungy brought in. The bend over and roll over D was getting muscled all around, so perhaps Foge Fazio should go - and Buddy Ryan brought in. Yes! That was it! Chinks in the Armor needed Buddy Ryan to come in and put some bounties on PKs' and QBs' scalps! One quick phone call was placed. Out were O coordinator Green, D coordinator Fazio, and head coach Kotite. In were O coordinator Dungy, D coordinator Ryan, and head coach Jerry Jones. Wang sensed the dawning of a new and most memorable era for the franchise! HOW 'BOUT DEM CHINKS?!? BENCH TEAM! These guys' asses languished on their respective teams' pines last weekend: 16 TCouch (Golden Years) 14 JStewart (Las Ranas De Mayan) 14 TPinkston (TheFreakinBlackHawks) 14 EKennison (Junior Mints) 10 JPathon (TheFreakinBlackHawks) 0 KWinslow (U of Miami) 7 PDawson (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 75 points... 14-1-1 this week; 46-1-1 through 3 weeks RFL'S YEAR OF THE JUICED NUMBERS Highest scoring team: AC Milan - 70.3 ppg Lowest scoring team: Repulsive Punk Asses - 32.7 ppg Toughest defense: Las Ranas De Mayan - 32.0 ppg Softest defense: Terrible Towels - 71.0 ppg League scoring average: 48.7 ppg (last year 37.3) Getting to the bloody point... on to WIR #3! -------------------------------------------- STANDINGS Farsighted Division Team W L GB PF PA STK Golden Years 1 2 2 145 164 L1 Chinks in the Armor 1 2 2 141 156 W1 Ghetto Fab Bindys 1 2 2 138 135 L2 Repulsive Punk Asses 1 2 2 98 125 L1 Shortsighted Division Team W L GB PF PA STK AC Milan 3 0 - 211 117 W3 The Kavir Dwellers 2 1 1 186 154 W2 The Tards of Bas 2 1 1 116 141 W1 Terrible Towels 0 3 3 144 213 L3 Astigmatism Division Team W L GB PF PA STK Las Ranas de Mayan 3 0 - 178 96 W3 Raider Hater 2 1 1 130 138 W1 TheFreakinBlackHawks 1 2 2 118 163 L2 FatJapinSanJose 0 3 3 126 167 L3 Blind as a Bat Division Team W L GB PF PA STK Everyone Go Deep 2 1 1 180 132 W2 Fat Bastards 2 1 1 165 151 L1 Cleveland Steamers 2 1 1 151 142 L1 Junior Mints 1 2 2 112 145 W1 -------------------------------------------- WEEK 3 IN REVIEW **************** ************************** **** GAME OF THE WEEK **** ************************** Chinks in the Armor 48 FatJapInSanJose 46 pregame spread: Chinks by 8 Wang wanted to draft Finneran in the 12th round (instead of that sissy Lelie), but Finneran instead went to Vesh due to his "automated" draft process. Thank goodness Vesh eventually dropped the Flying Finneran. Wang jumped right on that - as Vick-to-Finneran brought Chinks in the Armor nearly all the way back from a 46-17 deficit. Keyshawn hit a 3 in Monday night action to complete the come-from-behind win. Mike's DMcNabb clearly has the early inside track for RFL MVP honors. But can a player on a winless team win the honor? FatJapInSanJose was really hurt by JBettis' bye week - and by RMoss' 1st goose-egg of the season (who was apparently more focused on running over meter maids than DBs). Mike has scored 40, 40 and 46 pts in his 1st 3 games. In the old days, such pt production would have him at 2-1 - if not 3-0. But the old days have long since been swept under the rug. vick 12 wgreen 1 finneran 16 keyshawn 3 moulds 11 ej'son 1 elam 4 mcnabb 23 hearst 6 quincy 2 rmoss 0 qadry 8 fjones 2 hollis 5 -------------------------------------------- AC Milan 85 TheFreakinBlackHawks 19 pregame spread: AC Milan by 9 Clark seems to have it all figured out. After closing the 2k1 season with 3 straight wins to claim Aglione Bowl XII, AC Milan have blasted their way to a 3-nil start to 2k2 - after absolutely demolishing TheFreakinBlackHawks by boxcars. Is Priest actually going to have another All-RFL-type season?!? Is RMcMichael going to turn into the 2nd coming of Booba Fatt? JoePa's TheFreakinBlackHawks are in a major tailspin. After leading RFL with 72 pts in Week 1, JoePa has scored 27 and 19 pts in the last 2 games. JGarcia seems to be struggling - as teams are blanketing TO with waves of DBs. SDavis and RGardner combined for 27 pts in Week 1, but have only managed 7 and 4 pts since. I guess it's kind of scary when THenry (by *far*) is the leading scorer on your team. snake 13 priest 29 tiki 5 horn 8 patten 12 mcmike 10 mgram 8 garcia 2 sdavis 4 travis 9 gardner 0 wjax 2 cam 0 jwilkins 2 -------------------------------------------- Everyone Go Deep 75 Cleveland Steamers 54 pregame spread: EGD by 7 In the battle of GMs sans brainpower to think of new team names, Gary's Andre Tripletts of Brady, Lamar and Troy combined for 57 pts - enough to beat Vesh by a trey. Throw in ATrain's 7, and Gary beat the spread. After inexplicably benching superstar LSmith in Week 1 (resulting in a flat offensive performance in a demoralizing 32-31 loss), Gary has ridden Lamar's 20 ppg to big wins in the last 2 contests. Vesh tried to compensate for the bye week absences of Kordell and Jimmy Smith with Jay and D'Wayne Wayne, but came up a full Lamar short. After leaving TJones' 17 pts on the bench last week, Vesh was hoping that TJones could at least make up for the loss of Tyrone. It wasn't to be - as TJones proved yet again that this former BMOC is no PTP. Scrub loss for Vesh (1-1). brady 20 atrain 7 lsmith 21 harrison 6 trbrown 16 becht 1 nedney 4 fiddler 6 tomlinson 18 tjones 4 rod 11 d'wayne 2 sharpe 0 l'well 13 -------------------------------------------- The Kavir Dwellers 67 Terrible Towels 56 pregame spread: TKD by 4 There was a palpable feeling of Monday Night Madness in this game. Terrible Towels were down 67-51 heading into MPittman's and EConwell's MNF action. Conwell could easily come up with 8 pts with one of what should have been many Ram Red Zone looks. And Pittman has been known to put up 9 pts in a single game in yardage bonuses alone. But wouldn't you know it... unlucky Brad "wasted" a big-time deuce-deuce from ABrooks and a *WHAT?* dozen from AFreeman. The Kavir Dwellers have come out from under the Preseason Poll rock to currently rank #2 in scoring. McNair, Ricky, Thrash and Akers have been solid as rocks. Amani has been a consistent contributor - albeit at a minimal level. If Ali can get quality minutes from A Twain and Wycheck, this team could actually seriously contend for the Steamroller. Scrub loss for Brad (0-2) - very unlucky. air 9 ricky 15 atwain 13 thrash 11 toomer 5 wycheck 0 akers 14 brooks 22 ejames 6 pittman 4 muhsin 3 freeman 12 ernie 1 cortez 8 -------------------------------------------- Golden Years 46 The Tards of Bas 52 pregame spread: GY by 5 Compared to the madness of the TKD-TT game above, this Cals-Brodz tussle had all the makings... Alabama-Auburn, Michigan-Ohio St, BU-BC... those rivalries have nothing on Cals and Brodz - two of the remaining "Original Four" - Joebob and Stan being the others. Brodz' The Tards of Bas went into MNF action with a 13 pt lead, but with only THolt yet to play. Cals' Golden Years countered with the troika of BJ, Marshall Marshall Marshall, and THolt's better half. On any normal Sunday, Cals should have had enough firepower to dictate his own happy ending to the latest chapter in this storied matchup. But this wasn't a normal Sunday. It was just another Manic Monday. MFaulk went down with a neck injury (too bad Trung seemed to fall behind LGordon on the depth chart). BJ lost all confidence in himself in the 2nd half. And IBruce was *much* the worse half. Kevan was the difference maker on this day - leading Brodz to victory. bj 6 mfaulk 7 emmitt 4 ibruce 2 andre 17 walls 2 mort 8 greasy 10 kevan 11 to 9 holt 8 mccaffrey 2 sloan 1 v-jagt 11 -------------------------------------------- Junior Mints 36 Ghetto Fab Bindys 30 pregame spread: JM by 1 In the Brown Age of RFL, 36-30 would have been a high-scoring affair. But in RFL's modern age of automated stat tracking and roster transactions... this game was a downright snoozer. Yes, the Presidency of IFEJ was at stake once again - and Joebob finally regained the position (after many years of Shivanian rule). In a most bizarre political maneuver, Junior Mints surprised the Shivan camp by pulling a PK-and-TEnd around. While Shiv completely shut down Kerry, Deuce, Rondell, Darrell and Terry... it was Bubba and Paul who snuck in from the back and did in the Ghetto Fab Bindys. Shiv's QB and RBs fared even worse - combining for a 10-8 deficit. MarTay and Adam matched Booba and Paul, but Derrick and Chad cost Shiv this election. Scrub win for Joebob (1-1). kerry 5 deuce 4 mealey 1 djax 3 tglenn 3 booba 9 edinger 11 quincy 4 shalex'er 2 jallen 2 mason 1 booker 11 chad 1 vinatieri 9 -------------------------------------------- Las Ranas De Mayan 46 Fat Bastards 42 pregame spread: LRDM by 6 In the GOTW of the people... Zach's Fat Bastards needed only 6 pts from Ivory Wayans to upset the prohibitive favorite, Las Ranas De Mayan. But Stan would not stand for allowing a rookie GM to have such an inappropriate (3-0) beginning to his RFL career - teaching Zach a lesson about the subtleties of (bye week) roster management. Zach was missing CGarner, JRice and Seabass. Fill ins DAlexander, JReed and RLindell did not get the job done. Stan made the smooth move of starting DDriver over KevJohnson - gaining LRDM a net of 6 points! Zach compounded his roster management problems by starting Lindell over MBryant at the last minute (net 3 pt loss). And who would dare start a Viking WR against that stout Panther D?!? CConway continues to lead RFL in WR pts. What?!? Not a scrub win for Stan. Stan's bench outscored Cals' and Mike's benches 31-20-7. c'pep 7 dillon 3 dunn 7 conway 5 driver 11 tonyg 1 feely 12 favre 16 egeorge 11 dalex'er 0 keenan 1 jreed 6 shockey 2 lindell 6 -------------------------------------------- Raider Hater 38 Repulsive Punk Asses 32 pregame spread: RH by 3 Warner's problem clearly isn't just his right thumb. The way he was getting vINTy'd all night long on MNF... there must also be issues with his pointy finger, his pinky finger AND his birdy finger! That's 1 INT for each wounded digit. And after Sapp's pancake of Warner on the last INT, Kurt appeared on the injured list for Week 4 as "probable" with a "sprained brain." vINTy matched Warner's TD total for the week - and only had *2* INTs. Seeing as how Richard needed 20 from Warner and Alstott on MNF, Drew should have felt relatively confident. Warner was averaging 7 ppg through the 1st 2 weeks, and Alstott could reasonably be expected to get shutout. Lo and behold... depsite Alstott fumbling, bumbling and stumbling his way to a TD, Warner was held to his 7 ppg average. And Drew held on for a win - and even covered the spread. Drew has Donte to thank - as the rookie Saint WR would have 26 pts (5 more than RMoss and JHorn) if Drew'd started him all 3 weeks. Scrub win for Drew (1-0). peyton 11 duce 3 dboston 3 chambers 1 donte 8 alge 0 mare 12 warner 7 alstott 6 portis 12 chrebet 3 hayes 0 marvcus 1 hall 3 -------------------------------------------- Transactions Team ---- ADD ---- DROP look 'em up for yourself on yahoo! ******************************************************** WANG'S WEEKLY WRINKLE ====== ====== ======= KOREN ROBINSON TRADE CONTROVERSY - AVERTED Hmmm... where in the world was #2i last weekend? Brad and Richard made yet another Friday afternoon deal - this time Richard was to send his 5th round draft pick (SEA's #2 receiver: K Robinson) to Brad for Zach's former 8th round pick (NYJ's #3 receiver: S Moss). NEW RULE: Between every Richard-Brad trade, Richard must complete a trade with any other RFL GM! Brad was able to get trade approval from a majority of the RFL Trade Council, but was unable to track down Commish #2i Clark to electronically enact the transaction - preventing Brad from getting Koren into his starting lineup (for some incomprehensible reason, Brad actually wanted to do this). As the deal went down on Friday afternoon, Clark was already out camping - and cut off from the electronic/cellular world. Brad's trade could not be put through, and he couldn't get Koren's 0 into his lineup. Thankfully... Brad lost anyway. But what if Brad had won by 11 (instead of losing by 11), and he'd wanted Koren's singular Krispy Kreme in for AFreeman's dozen - resulting in a 1 pt loss?!? When is a trade actually a trade? When the 2 parties agree to the trade parameters? When the RFL Trade Council grants approval? When Commish #2i does his browser magic in zapping names from 1 roster to another? In the Golden Age of RFL, the deal would have been done as soon as the Trade Council approved it. And Brad would have gotten Koren into his starting lineup - provided that phone calls and/or emails were time-stamped before the applicable deadlines. In the current age... I've got to say that nothing is "real" until the yahoo site says so. But... Clark, you've *got* to be accessible on the weekends! Or at least give the League warnings to let us know when you're going to be inaccessible. ************************************************* RFL GM Profiles: ************************************************* NOTE FROM WIR EDITORIAL STAFF: Hmmm... looks like we need a new Interviewer. This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR. ******************************************************** SEASON POINTS LEADERS ********************* QB 55 D McNabb (FatJapInSanJose) 43 A Brooks (Terrible Towels) 41 D Culpepper (Las Ranas De Mayan) RB 66 P Holmes (AC Milan) 49 R Williams (The Kavir Dwellers) 40 L Smith (Everyone Go Deep) 38 M Faulk (Golden Years) 37 T Henry (TheFreakinBlackHawks) 36 L Tomlinson (Cleveland Steamers) WR 32 C Conway (Las Ranas De Mayan) 30 J Thrash (The Kavir Dwellers) 30 M Booker (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 28 M Harrison (Everyone Go Deep) 28 E Moulds (Chinks in the Armor) 26 P Price (AC Milan) TE 20 T Gonzalez (Las Ranas De Mayan) 12 J Shockey (Fat Bastards) 12 R McMichael (AC Milan) PK 35 A Vinatieri (Ghetto Fab Bindys) 34 R Longwell (Cleveland Steamers) 33 D Akers (The Kavir Dwellers) -------------------------------------------- RFL ALL*STARS ************* QB 23 D McNabb (FatJapInSanJose) RB 29 P Holmes (AC Milan) 21 L Smith (Everyone Go Deep) WR 17 A Davis (Golden Years) 16 B Finneran (Chinks in the Armor) and Tr Brown (Everyone Go Deep) TE 10 R McMichael (AC Milan) PK 14 D Akers (The Kavir Dwellers) ************** Week 3 total: 130... LSmith, ADavis, Finneran, McMike poached from bench team -------------------------------------------- NEXT WEEK's ACTION **** GAME **** OF **** THE **** WEEK **** 7-AC Milan (3-0, 70.3) vs. 14-Everyone Go Deep (2-1, 60.0) Clark Edge Gary JPlummer -> TBrady PHolmes -> AThomas TBarber -> LSmith JHorn <- TrBrown DPatten -- LColes RMcMichael <- ABecht MGramatica <- JNedney Clark's AC Milan has been scoring goals at a prolific pace so far this season (although they'd still get drubbed by Tottenham Hotspur - not to mention Real Madrid). Gary's team is currently #3 overall in scoring. Gary has a full-blown QB controversy on his hands - as TBrady stepped in for a not-as-effective DBledsoe in Week 3. Medical tests revealed no profusive internal bleeding for Bledsoe this time. Gary just felt the need for a change at the helm. Clark also has QB issues at the AC Milan training facilities - as the Snake has been handed the Claudio Reyna role over a rather ineffective TGreen. And we won't even discuss the dropping of SMatthews for the NYG PK! Although the RB talent is roughly equal between these 2 clubs, Clark's RBs would appear to be facing tougher Ds this weekend. Gary will be hurt by the absence of MHarrison on Sunday. Gary's keys should turn out to be Lamar and Laveranues. Clark should need big games from Horn and Plummer (or Tiki). **** In a bit of an upset, Gary by a header in injury time **** -------------------------------------------- Other Tilts: 2-Chinks in the Armor (1-2, 47.0) by 4 over 10-TheFreakinBlackHawks (1-2, 39.3) Wang will be missing his newly unearthed Vick-to-Finneran combo. JoePa will be missing 2 of his best players (JGarcia and SDavis). 9-FatJapInSanJose (0-3, 42.0) by 3 over 4-Repulsive Punk Asses (1-2, 32.7) Moss will be running from the Law (and I don't mean Ty). Richard's team has been underperforming - aside from the shocking Week 2 win over #2. 16-Cleveland Steamers (2-1, 50.3) by 9 over 5-The Kavir Dwellers (2-1, 62.0) Vesh should be able to bounce back from last week's scrub loss. Ali might be due for a dip. 1-Golden Years (1-2, 48.3) by 8 over 6-Terrible Towels (0-3, 48.0) Looks like Cals' Marshall Plan is hanging on by a cord. Brad could use Edgerrin in this game. 13-Junior Mints (1-2, 37.3) by 10 over 8-The Tards of Bas (2-1, 38.7) What's the deal with Joebob's CMartian? Brodz will be without Kevan and TO this weekend. 3-Ghetto Fab Bindys (1-2, 46.0) by 2 over 12-Las Ranas De Mayan (3-0, 59.3) Shiv could get big numbers from his RBs and WRs. JStewart finally makes an appearance for Stan. 15-Fat Bastards (2-1, 55.0) by 7 over 11-Raider Hater (2-1, 43.3) Zach will be at full strength for this 1st matchup of the Commander-of-Rookies Cup. Drew will have Dilfer in for PManning - 'nuf said.