Some random guys on ESPN radio refer to the violent up-and-down swings of NFL teams as the ''lava lamp'' effect. At RFL's WIR offices, the editors keep an eye on the players' ''biorhythms.'' For example, Jerry Rice explodes for 100+ yds and 3 TDs in Week 10. Do you think he'll come close to repeating that performance in Week 11? Hell, no. Gruden and Gannon have got to get Tim Brown his touches. Byron Chamberlain leads the Vikings in receptions this week. Do you think Daunte will look Byron's way in Week 12? No. Moss and Carter going postal would not make for a warm and fuzzy workplace. Hell, Jake Reed was getting more tosses his way than Moss or Carter last Sunday!

An RFL GM with accurate biorhythm charts could win the Steamroller and Ags Bowl with 3 or 4 solid starters, and free agents filling out the starting lineup every week.

Then again... the RFL GM drafting MFaulk each of the last 2 seasons (Ali 3rd in '00, Wang 12th in '99) has won the Ags Bowl - not a bad sign for Joebob this year.

THE ROAD TO MIDDLE EARTH

Projected IN: Wang 13-1, Joebob 12-2, Kevin 11-3, Clark 10-4
Richard 8-6, Stan 8-6, Cals 8-6, Vesh 7-7

Projected OUT: John 7-7, Gary 6-8, Ali 6-8, Brodz 5-9
Adam 4-10, JoePa 3-11, Shiv 2-12, Brad 2-12

Tiebreaker notes:
Richard-Stan-Cals 3-way tie: Richard 2-0, Stan 1-1, Cals 0-2.
Vesh beat John.
Ali and Gary will not play each other in the regular season.
Shiv and Brad face each other this week.

RODROM!

The Hobbit (24 team wins) division took 3 of 4 games against The Fellowship of the Ring (20) division, while The Return of the King (24) division also won 3 of 4 against The Two Towers (20) division.

Highest scoring team: Mahatma's Minions - 48.8 ppg
Lowest scoring team: Blue Collar Workers - 25.5 ppg
Toughest defense: Mahatma's Minions - 30.4 ppg
Softest defense: Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids - 45.9 ppg
League scoring average: 37.2 ppg (last year 38.7)

JoePa failed to get the 3 QB bonus pts this week - as ABrooks cracked the 350-yd mark.

Getting to the bloody point... on to WIR #11!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Blue Collar Workers 27
Fighting Poopy Diapers 34

All 27 of Blue Collar Workers' pts were scored by former BUBEs, but the combined 3 from Batch and Morton on Thanksgiving were the tryptophane that essentially put rookie GM Brad's season to sleep. Even Ben Gay's first-ever RFL appearance could not save Brad this week. When John and Wang were cracking jokes about this guy back in September, who knew that he'd become the object of an intense dibs sweepstakes?!? But once Stan missed out on Gay, he lifted his curse on JJackson - and JJax' return cut deeply into Gay's PT. All 7 of Baby Brodz' starters scored this week, although the 34 pt total was pretty weak. Morten Andersen moved up to #2 all-time in RFL pts (past GBlanda), but RFL's top scorer of all-time (GAnderson) was on the other sideline extending his lead by 2. Fighting Poopy Diapers now look to sweep Vesh, Clark and JoePa to hope for a playoff spot at 7-7.
Scrub win for Brodz (1-3)

batch 0 gay 0 lamar 6 kevj'son 12 morton 3 pollard 0 gand'son 6
elvis 6 sdavis 3 pittman 6 graham 9 horn 3 tonyg 3 mort 4
---------------------------------------------------------------
Other games:

Mahatma's Minions 43
Black Knights of the Charles 21

Joebob bounced back nicely from last week's demoralizing loss to BUBE by trouncing JoePa (in a matchup of the last 2 Aglione Bowl losers). And by holding Black Knights of the Charles to a mere 21 pts, Mahatma's Minions reclaimed their title of ''Toughest D.'' Sirs Kevin, Billy, Qadry and Jay were are shutout this week. Sir Michael finally broke back into the scoring column for the first time in 6 weeks. Sir Fred's flesh wound kept him out of action again. FTaylor has not played since Week 2 - and has a grand total of 3 pts for the season. Now 3-8, BKotC can focus on scrub bowl preparations. With the win, the Minions appear to be locked in with the #2 seed for the playoffs. Dude's loss to HaHT severely damaged Joebob's easiest path towards claiming the regular season crown - as a Dude win over BUBE this coming week, followed by a 3-way tie (Joebob, Wang, Clark) after Week 14, would have given the Steamroller to the top-scoring team among the 3.

brady 15 mfaulk 5 huntley 3 rod 3 isaac 3 walls 0 elam 14
brooks 9 bennett 3 kfaulk 0 sch'der 0 qadry 0 riemer 0 wilkins 9
---------------------------------------------------------------
Having a Hard Time 36
Dude 28

As noted above, Dude's loss this week to HaHT devastated both Clark's and Joebob's chances to unseat the frontrunning BUBE for Steamroller honors. Clark needs to beat Wang this week (and Brodz and Ali in Weeks 13 and 14) and hope for Wang to lose at least 1 more to Vesh and/or Adam. Clark also needs to avoid a 2-way tie with Joebob. A 3-way tie with Joebob and Wang could be good for Clark - as long as he passes both in total pts scored (since all 3 teams would be 1-1 against each other - provided Clark beats Wang this week). Kevin's Uffdalators are also lurking nearby. Richard is now 7-4 and has basically confirmed his spot in the postseason. With Priest stepping right in for the injured Edgerrin, all Having a Hard Time needs is some WR production to become a serious Aglione Bowl contender. Look for Clark to play the ''They don't RESPECT us'' card to get Dude primed for BUBE this week.
SMcNair outscored Shiv's bench 18-0 to help Richard avoid getting the ''Scrub'' stamp on this victory.

favre 9 priest 9 tom'son 6 b'ford 0 w'brook 0 wycheck 9 v'jagt 3
kerry 0 eddie 3 shaun 12 booker 0 conway 9 sloan 0 j'kow 4
---------------------------------------------------------------
Boobies! 51
Short-Changed Bastards of Persia 34

Former HP executive Cals claimed the Carly Fiorina Brain in this annual clash of rivals against current HP executive Ali. Boobies! ran circles around the Short-Changed Bastards of Persia by unleashing its fearsome 2-headed running attack of Garrison and Antowain. Cals tried to allay his followers fears regarding his Pinky obsession by calling up Frank ''Kernel'' Sanders and Bert ''Emanuelle in Space'' Emanuel as his #3 and #4 WRs, but such overtly cosmetic (ineffective) manuevers failed to fool anyone. Cals is still right on track to finish at 8-6 - with a shot at the Ags Bowl. SCBoP also put up their highest RB pt total of the season. But with only 3 combined pts from Bastards McNabb, Moss, Rice and Brady... Ali fell well short of upsetting Cals - dropping SCBoP to 5-6. Ali will need to win at least 2 from Stan, JoePa and Clark to have a chance to defend his Aglione Bowl XI championship.

c'pep 3 hearst 18 antowain 21 tholt 6 pinky 0 bubba 0 akers 3
mcnabb 0 ma'son 12 garner 12 rmoss 0 rice 3 kbrady 0 hanson 7
---------------------------------------------------------------
Pimps de la Nast 36
Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids 52

Facing Adam has certainly been roughly similar to playing Russian Roulette this season. Shiv has now joined Richard and Ali among the ranks of those taking a bullet in their... records. Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids have now broken the 50-pt mark twice this season (previously, 51 against Richard in Week 4). Normally, Adam scores consistently right around 30 (RRR beat SCBoP 29-8 in Week 6). After Moulds was mentioned as a possible ''Bust of the Draft'' nominee in last week's WIR, Rabbi Eric busted out with a big game. Pimps de la Nast got a Moulds out of THambrick and WJackson, but the zeroes from Tyrone, Cris and Chad put an end to Shiv's 1-game winning streak. Interestingly... WJackson has 2 starts (out of 3 total) where he has scored 9 pts. Shiv has lost both of those games. But Shiv has lost 10 of 11 total, so perhaps that tidbit isn't so interesting after all.

warner 6 tyrone 0 h'brick 12 wjax 9 cris 0 chad 0 l'well 9
jgarcia 6 tiki 15 chapman 0 hakim 0 moulds 21 kinney 0 mare 10
---------------------------------------------------------------
Everyone Go Deep 42
Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant 46

Wang feared a big letdown after the hugely emotional win over Joebob last week, and things certainly looked grim for BUBE following the 27 scored by Manning and Rhodes Sunday morning. Making things even more bleak were Duce's miserable game against WA and ATrain's absence against the Vikes. But thanks to fine performances by the triumvirate of Gannon, Boston and Cortez (and a big 4th quarter reception by Lord Byron), Wang was able to complete the come-from-behind victory. Dominic's 18 for Everyone Go Deep begs the question, ''Is Edgerrin just a product of the system?'' Can any RB simply be plugged into the Colts O and put up big numbers? Should E.D. retire from the MNF sideline and pull that horseshoed helmet back onto his head? Gary is now 6-5 with games against Cals, John and Kevin coming up. Perhaps 1 win will be enough for EGD to nab a postseason invitation.
Scrub loss for Gary (3-1)

peyton 9 jstew 6 dominic 18 ike 0 freeman 3 alge 0 nedney 6
gannon 12 tminor 3 duce 3 keyshawn 3 boston 12 byron 3 cortez 10
---------------------------------------------------------------
Uffdalators 47
Invasive Species 35

Can't say that this outcome was a surprise. Kevin won; Stan hit his scoring average; Uffdalators missed hitting the spread by only 2 pts. Outscoring Kevin 12-0 in the QB matchup gave Stan some hope, but losing the WR#1-TE matchup 27-12 doomed Invasive Species - given the fact that Kevin would certainly win the battle of the RBs. Uffdalators are now 8-3, and with Richard, Shiv and Gary remaining on the schedule... fully expect to finish 11-3 - with slim hopes for the Steamroller still alive. Invasive Species are now 6-5, and with Ali, Adam and Vesh remaining... fully expect to finish the regular season at 8-6 (with a spot in the playoffs). Kevin continues to have some QB issues. Backup AVanPelt made a case to take over for JMiller. Stan continues to have RB problems - having scored more than 12 total RB pts in a game only once this season. RAnderson and BHoover are the newest recruits.

jmiller 0 rw''ms 9 dillon 3 tibrown 18 amani 3 sharpe 9 cahney 5
flute 12 deuce 0 maurice 3 towens 12 dalex'er 3 dclark 0 richey 5
---------------------------------------------------------------
Jersey Juggernauts 33
Cleveland Steamers 48

John's Jersey Juggernauts have been a hard team to figure this season. With RBs Dunn and Bettis, John should have enough of a consistent base from which to survive the wild biorythmic swings of his WRs - MHarrison and (to a much larger extent) Thrash. But with the extremely subpar performances from vINTy, TGreen and PK Hollis, John's ''base'' has been set too low week-after-week. And when Dunn is hurt and/or Bettis fails to hit paydirt... fuh GETTA bout it! If John can win 2 of 3 against Joebob, Gary and Shiv, he could still get into the playoffs. Ahman finally got his ass in gear for Vesh again (only 3 games with more than 9 pts). The pair of 9s from the Cleveland Steamers' WRs also went a long way, but JSmith's recent positive test for cocaine might come back to bite Vesh sometime during the playoffs - which Vesh should be a part of should he win at least 2 of 3 against Brodz, Wang and Stan.

green 3 wdunn 12 bus 3 thrash 0 mhar'son 12 ej'son 0 hollis 3
greasy 3 jjax 0 ahman 21 jsmith 9 trb'n 9 conwell 0 stover 6

ACCIDENTAL TRANSACTIONS

From Section 7 of ''The Rules'' on http://www.thewanger.com/rfl/therules.html

...comes the following rule:

''At the start of the week's first game (usually 1pm ET Sunday), a dibs queue will be used. From kickoff Sunday (or Thursday or Saturday, etc.) until noon (ET) on Tuesday, any GM may place dibs on a free agent player. At noon (EST) on Tuesday, if more than one team has expressed interest in the same player, his rights go to the team lowest in the standings.''

During the 1st 2 weeks of the 2001 season with Thursday night games (Weeks 6 and 7), the League Secretary ''accidentally'' allowed teams to make free agent call-ups between the Thursday and Sunday games.

Week 6: Ali, Stan and Shiv
Week 7: Shiv, JoePa and Richard

For those of you who politely abided by the rule, the League Office sincerely apologizes for any hard feelings these dastardly behind-the-scenes wheelings and dealings have caused.

For the coming week... transactions will be allowed between Thursday's Eagles-Chiefs game and Sunday mornings' games - so long as the transactions do not impact frozen positions from the Thursday game.

However, no transactions will be allowed between Saturday and Sunday games once these Saturday games start (Week 14).
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
121 Jeff Garcia (Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids)
119 Daunte Culpepper (Boobies!)
116 Peyton Manning (Everyone Go Deep)

RB
123 Shaun Alexander (Dude)
107 Marshall Faulk (Mahatma's Minions)
102 Ahman Green (Cleveland Steamers)
99 Ricky Williams (Uffdalators)
90 Priest Holmes (Having a Hard Time)
87 Corey Dillon (Uffdalators)

WR
117 Terrell Owens (Invasive Species)
105 Marvin Harrison (Jersey Juggernauts)
101 Rod Smith (Mahatma's Minions)
78 David Boston (Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant)
78 Tim Brown (Uffdalators)
63 James Thrash (Jersey Juggernauts)

TE
44 Tony Gonzalez (Fighting Poopy Diapers)
39 Wesley Walls (Mahatma's Minions)
36 Bubba Franks (Boobies!)
36 Shannon Sharpe (Uffdalators)

PK
86 Jason Elam (Mahatma's Minions)
84 Sebastian Janikowski (Dude)
83 John Carney (Uffdalators)

be sure to check:
The Season Points Leaders Page
...for a more complete listing of scoring leaders.

Cals	Advantage	Gary
DCulpepper		PManning
GHearst		DRhodes
ASmith		JStewart
THolt		AFreeman
TPinkston		KMcCardell
BFranks		ACrumpler
DAkers		JNedney

One of these things is not like the other:
THolt, AFreeman, TPinkston, KMcCardell
Can you spot which one doesn't belong?
Holt, Freeman and McCardell are RFL WRs. Todd Pinkston is a Manhattanite investment banker. Yet, Cals insists on trotting him out there week-after-week. Yes, due to Cals' immense abilities as an RFL GM... Pinkston scored 9 in Week 3 (1st start of season). But Pinky's biorhythms have long since flat-lined... 6 consecutive goose-eggs in his other 6 starts (weeks 6 through 11).
One of these 2 teams should make the playoffs. One should not. Gary's bid for his franchise's 1st-ever postseason appearance (in season 3) was buoyed by the Thanksgiving day reappearance of JStewart. Unfortunately for Everyone Go Deep, PManning and DRhodes will be facing the Ravens this weekend. For Cals' Boobies!, Culpepper's struggles might continue this weekend when he takes on the Steelers in PIT.
GHearst should provide Cals with a 3-6 pt edge out of the QBs and RBs. Even with Todd ''Dead Weight'' Pinkston in the lineup, Cals should still have a 3-6 pt edge in the WRs, as well.
No one doubts that Booba is more talented than Alge, but look for Carlester's bro to walk some talk this weekend.

**** EGD won't penetrate Boobies! this week, Cals by 12 ****

1-Blue Collar Workers (2-9, 25.5) by 1 over 9-Pimps de la Nast (1-10, 33.3)
Brad looking for game from Moe and KevJohnson. Warner should explode for huge numbers for Shiv.

2-Mahatma's Minions (9-2, 48.8) by 2 over 12-Jersey Juggernauts (5-6, 34.7)
Joebob's Brady and John's vINTy will face-off in NJ. If Joebob doesn't get pts from his Panthers (Huntley and Walls), John just might have the guns to steal this one.

11-Uffdalators (8-3, 44.0) by 3 over 3-Having a Hard Time (7-4, 39.0)
Kevin needs to pick right QB and press WR edge. Richard's RBs can keep him within striking distance.

5-Black Knights of the Charles (3-8, 31.8) by 5 over 13-Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids (3-8, 33.1)
JoePa needs ABrooks-Qadry to match JGarcia-Moulds. Adam will clearly miss Tiki.

6-Dude (8-3, 42.8) by 4 over 16-Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant (10-1, 46.1)
Biorhythm projections look good for Clark's RBs and WRs. Wang is staring at down weeks coming from Gannon, Boston and Chamberlain.

7-Short-Changed Bastards of Persia (5-6, 33.2) by 6 over 15-Invasive Species (6-5, 35.0)
Ali hopes TDavis and TWheatley do more easing back into their starting roles. Stan hopes TOwens shows more explosiveness than RMoss.

14-Cleveland Steamers (5-6, 39.2) by 7 over 8-Fighting Poopy Diapers (4-7, 32.3)
Vesh would appreciate more big numbers from AGreen and JSmith. Brodz' running game has got to stop sputtering.

©1999-2001 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: November 27, 2001