Aaahhh... to be in the stands Friday night as Barry's 71st soared over the right-centerfield fence (and as his 72nd cleared the centerfield fence)! Then to be in the stands again on Sunday as Barry cranked number 73 out to right-center! Electrifying!
And having your Giants fan, Barry Bonds-loving g-friend (who might not *really* be your g-friend due to some ancient, obscure-to-me Chinese dating regulations) leap into your arms as she is clearly experiencing her first orgasms in my presence. What could be finer?!?

DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN

Wang's Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant were dropped from the ranks of the unbeaten by Cals' Boobies!. The 2 squads remaining with perfect records... Wally's Mahatma's Minions and Ali's Short-Changed Bastards of Persia. These 2 franchises met in Aglione Bowl XI last December - as Ali's Heirs to the Ayatollah triumphed 52-49 over Na's Brown Boys. Well, what do you know... the RFL Schedule Makers had the foresight to pit 4-0 Ali and 4-0 Wally against each other THIS WEEK!

BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKERJACKS!

The Bonds 73 division went 2-2 against the Ruth 60, and the McGwire 70 division also split their 4 contests with the Maris 61* teams.

Highest scoring team: Mahatma's Minions - 55.0 ppg
Lowest scoring team: Blue Collar Workers - 22.8 ppg
Toughest defense: Fighting Poopy Diapers - 22.8 ppg
Softest defense: Black Knights of the Charles - 49.3 ppg
League scoring average: 35.7 ppg (last year 38.7)

4 teams with all 12 QB bonus pts: Cals (BIG SURPRISE HERE!), JoePa, Brodz, Shivan
2 teams with no QB bonus pts: Stan, Wang

Getting to the bloody point... on to WIR #4!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Boobies! 46
Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant 41

The bookies said Culpepper should outpoint Detmer by 9. Culpepper went 5 pts beyond that, and Cals' Boobies! won by that margin. Also... if Wang had been told that the winner of Alstott-Keyshawn would take this game, he would have gladly accepted that option. Both teams left lots of points on the bench: Cals with Antowain and TAllen and Pinkston; Wang with Kitna and Curtis Martin and KevJohnson. But in the end... Commish #1 put Commish #2 in his place once again. If Wang wasn't still riding the high of winning his espn.com Fantasy Baseball league's World Series on Sunday, this loss would be hurting him a lot more. Wang would like to thank Barry and Aurilia and Ichiro for their outstanding seasons in carrying WANGER'S FIRE IN THE HOLE to the Sony Samurai League Championship!
Scrub loss for BUBE (0-1)

daunte 14 hearst 3 alstott 9 holt 9 crowell 3 bubba 0 akers 8
detmer 0 lt'son 12 lsmith 15 keyshawn 3 boston 3 byron 6 mgram 2
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Blue Collar Workers 21
Invasive Species 31

Invasive Species finally get their first dubya of the season - albeit one of the scrub variety (1-1). TOwens finally got untracked, but the WIR Editorial Staff feels GM Stan should have a sit-down with his clown. Stan's work-in-progress running game needs to do more running - and less sitting down. Blue Collar Workers scored too many pts this week. Their victory last week came with their lowest pt output of the season. GM Brad seems to have 2 decent QBs now (JMiller and CWeinke) - along with a capable TE and a solid PK. The RB and WR corps are still in the midst of transforming... we'll have to see if Brad can coax his squad into getting on the bubble for playoff contention.

jmiller 3 ogary 0 richie 6 jj 0 green 0 becht 6 cortez 6
flute 0 jallen 0 maurice 3 towens 18 dalex'der 0 dclark 0 richey 10
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Mahatma's Minions 53
Cleveland Steamers 35

Vesh actually had a shot at pulling this one out on Monday Night! After EConwell's TD early in the 3rd quarter (with Faulk and Bruce not doing much *yet*), another TD and 28 yds for Conwell might have been enough for Cleveland Steamers to steal this one from Wally. But Wally's charges were too stout on this night. Bruce hit the 50 yd mark, and Faulk stayed in the game well into garbage time (the Lions prepared 2 weeks for *this*?!?) to help Mahatma's Minions win going away. Rod and Wesley continue to benefit from the soothing guidance of GM Wally. James Jackson should keep Emmitt buried on Vesh's bench for most of the rest of the season.
Scrub loss for Vesh (0-1)

brunell 6 mfaulk 15 dayne 0 rod 12 isaac 3 walls 9 elam 8
greasy 3 ahman 6 jjax 9 jsmith 3 trb'n 0 conwell 6 stover 8
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Having a Hard Time 27
Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids 51

There was much hooting and hollering when the bookmakers made RRR a 9 pt favorite over HaHT. After all... RRR was 0-3 and averaging a whopping 23.7 ppg less than the 2-1 HaHT. But with GM Richard missing 3 Colts (EJames, MPollard and MVanderjagt) out on their bye week, the bookies felt Richard would have a hard time plugging those holes. Despite a remarkable 15 from LCenters (obviously a product of the ''system''), HaHT fell flat everywhere else in the lineup. Hammerin' Hank Aaron filled in at PK for Richard. GM Adam has resurfaced electronically! The League Office was quite pleased with that bit of news. The Rappin' Rabbis were also clearly reinvigorated - as Garcia led the charge with 15 - and the Muffin Men M's (Marvcus, Moulds and Mare) each kicked in a dozen.

gannon 6 centers 15 priest 6 jmorton 0 ek'son 0 wycheck 0 hank x
garcia 15 chpmn 0 prntce 0 mrob'son 12 moulds 12 freddie 0 mare 12
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Black Knights of the Charles 29
Uffdalators 55

When you score 55 and win, that's when you're more *Uffda* than 'lators. When you lose 55-13 in GOTW, that's when you're ''more Uff than 'dalators''! Got it? BSchroeder has taken over as the leader of JoePa's Black Knights of the Charles (in FTaylor's absence), but precious few other BKs are following Sir Billy up the castle walls. Kevin's club bounced back nicely from last week's thrashing. Getting Ricky and Cahney back was key - as they combined to score all the pts Uffdalators would need this week. TDilfer finally provided Kevin with his 1st QB pts - as Trent, Tim and Amani chipped in a Damien.

brooks 3 kfaulk 0 b'nett 0 muhsin 3 sch'der 12 riemer 6 wilkins 5
dilfer 6 rw''ms 15 dillon 3 tib'n 6 amani 6 sharpe 3 cahney 16
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Dude 40
Everyone Go Deep 23

Dude! What's up with Shaun and Martay Booker?!? GM Clark appears to have found 2 gems in SAlexander (the RB, not the TE) and MBooker. Shaun blackjacked this week - as RWatters is becoming a distant memory in the Great Northwest. And Martay Booker punted, passed and kicked his way to a dozen. GM Gary tried to show up the Commish by starting Ike over Keenan, but the ploy backfired. Lots of WRs went deep this week - just not Antonio or Ike. Rob Johnson did explode for 3 this week, and Gary did make a great call on the PK (Mort's 11 over Nedney's 1) this week. But 6 pts from your RBs and WRs just isn't going to cut it.

kerry 3 mack 0 salex'er 21 conway 0 booker 12 cam 0 j'kow 4
rj'son 3 jstew 6 tjones 0 freeman 0 ike 0 dudley 3 mort 11
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Short-Changed Bastards of Persia 51
Pimps de la Nast 31

Ali's undefeated SCBoP took offense to being made an underdog to Shiv's winless Pimps de la Nast and responded with (by far) their highest pt total of the season. After scoring 30, 29 and 32 pts in weeks 1-3, Ali inspired his Bastards into posting a Puerto Rico this week. MAnderson bounced back from his 1st scoreless game to lead the team with 15. McNabb is providing consistent goodness at the QB spot. And even the venerable JRice contributed 9. Shiv's Pimps have been hit hard by the Foge Fazio curse. After being ranked #1 in the preseason, Terrell Davis went down - and this week Shiv was forced to use PHape as his #1 RB! KWarner continues to be solid, and Tyrone pimped nicely this week. But Shiv's C-cubed Catching Corps has been downright abysmal (aside from their scrub loss last week) this season.

mcnabb 12 ma'son 15 garner 3 moss 6 rice 9 damon 0 hall 6
warner 12 hape 0 tyrone 12 cris 3 chrebet 0 chad 0 l'well 4
--------------------------------------------------------
Fighting Poopy Diapers 19
Jersey Juggernauts 24

RFL was yanked back 15 years - to the beginnings of a thought in a brain of a boy in a crowded bedroom in St. Paul, MN - in this ''contest.'' ''What would happen if 2 GMs pitted fantasy lineups of *awful* football players against each other?'' wondered a pimple-faced Cals as he closed his eyes for a night's respite. The inevitable nightmare quickly took hold... 1 GM with an Elvis at QB, a 2nd-string Eagle RB, WRs from the Giants and Saints; the other GM with a Chief QB, backup Chiefs at RB and WR, and a TE whose day job is hosting NBA games on TNT. Teenager Cals woke up drenched with a cold sweat... but he quickly came to the realization that anything good (Steamrollers, End Zone Bones, Heirs to the Ayatollah) *must* come with the f'ing ugly.
Scrub win for John (1-0)

elvis 6 sdavis 0 correll 6 j'vicius 0 horn 0 tonyg 6 gand'son 1
green 3 jermaine 0 bus 9 snoop 3 thrash 0 ejohnson 0 hollis 9

POSITION ELIGIBILITY

Hey... there's no pressing need to discuss the dibs rule this week! So... I'd like to talk about Shiv using Patrick Hape at RB this past weekend. The deciding factor in position eligibility is NFL.com. NFL.com has roster listings which indicate position, and their Gamebooks list positions, also. Earlier this season, rookie GM John asked about calling up Dedric Ward (formerly a Jet, now a Dolphin) as a TE. He swore that he saw Dedric listed as a backup TE on some site's depth chart for Miami.

So I went to NFL.com and checked their listing of Miami's roster. D Ward was listed as a WR. Plus, he's only 180 lbs. There ain't no TE in the NFL (or RFL) who weighs 180 lbs!

As for Shiv's RB Patrick Hape... I've usually thought of him as a TE - most ''H-backs'' are essentially TEs. But when I checked the Broncos' roster on NFL.com, Hape was listed as a FB.

It's a tough call when it comes to discerning between RBs and TEs for H-backs. But at the root of it all... you shouldn't have an H-back on your roster anyway.

ALL IN TO WIN

The League Office was most pleased to receive the email from Adam on Saturday. The League would like to thank Brodz for getting on the ball so quickly in responding to the League request for action. Although no roster moves have come in yet from Adam, the League Secretary is eagerly awaiting fulfilling all Rappin' Rabbis transaction requests.

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Brad Nall, GM, Blue Collar Workers
*************************************************

Rookie GM Brad does not have a good grasp of the Pig Latin language, but his hide-and-go-seek skills are legendary. It could also be debated whether Brad or his wife Trish has the most softball talent in the Nall family, but Brad will lead Sony into their quest for a 3rd championship in 4 seasons on Oct. 10. When the League looked like it was in dire straits for a 16th GM, Brad most honorably volunteered to step into the breach. If his incessant emails and phone calls to League HQs to date are any indication of the kind of GM he will prove to be over the long haul, we have definitely found a keeper.

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: Brad, when you found out from your coworker Richard Aguilera that RFL had undergone its Draft without a 16th GM... you most innocently volunteered to join the League with a team of free agents. What do you think of the controversy that very nearly erupted?

Brad Nall: When I first found out, I just wanted to do what was in the best interests of the League, but I am *really* hoping to be able to stay on past this season. Some of you guys might be worthy of competing with me, but I'm confident that I can start winning championships next season.

RFL: Please tell the League about your personal history regarding fantasy football performance. How many leagues have you played in? How have your teams generally performed? Any other inside info regarding the thought processes of RFL's newest GM?

BN: This has been my 4th season of playing fantasy, but the first with a scrub team. I'll pay my dues to the RFL Gods this season - with the built-in excuse of having a team of free agents. The three yrs prior, I took 1st place once and 2nd twice. I know that I won't put up a very good record this year, but I will be very competitive... so don't take the BCW as an easy victory. I look forward to next yr and having a team of *drafted* talent. Then everyone had better watch out!

RFL: How would you compare 4 weeks in RFL with the other leagues you've competed in? How does the "personal touch" of this Mom 'n Pop operation compare to the streamlined slickness of an online conglomerate's league?

BN: This league has been handled way more professionally than the ones that I have played in. Hats off to all involved.

RFL: You can stop kissing my ass now, Brad... getting back to the interview... So far the bookmakers have given very little respect to your Blue Collar Workers. How does that make you feel?

BN: Like I said before... I won't put up a very good record, but I will be very competitive, so don't disrespect the BCW. If you take BCW lightly, it will come back and bite you in the ass. One last thing I have to add is this league has a lot of GMs who are very passive about making trades or deals compared to any other league I've been in. Remember, in order to gain something you will have to give up something! Don't hesitate to be a risk taker, you bunch of thumb-sucking weenies!

RFL: What is the nature of your relationship with Richard? Will the League Office need to closely monitor your 2 franchises - to constantly be on alert for any underhanded dealings between you 2? What's the inside scoop on that 1st trade between you 2? Most of the rest of the League generally feels that BCW improved a little - while making HHT less of a playoff contender.

BN: Our relationship is strictly business related, so there is no need to watch our franchises. Because by the end of the year, I will have a winning record over his sorry team. We had been talking about this deal (LCenters and EKennison to HaHt for OGary and JJStokes) for weeks, and I believe that he just got tired of my pestering him. Being patient isn't the best way for everything.

RFL: Sources within your organization have been quoted as saying that your sole goal for this season is to defeat Richard's squad (Week 13). Your comments? How about any secondary goals for the season?

BN: That is one thing that does drive me, but my biggest goal is to be very competitive and to have fun. As everyone can see I'm very active in the free agent market and will continue to be. My secondary goal - and probably most realistic goal - is to cover the spread every week. Which out of the first 4 weeks, I have done just that.

RFL: Danny Almonte (of the Bronx Little League All-Star team) was found to essentially have been a 14 year old brought in to overpower boys 2 and 3 years younger than he is. Rumors have started circulating regarding your own eldest son. Little League officials from the Bay Area (and even from as far away as San Diego) have submitted complaints regarding how dominant he was last season. These officials wanted your son's birth certificate double-checked. What do you have to say regarding these rumors/complaints/requests?

BN: I have nothing to say about that. Just because a kid pitches 21 1/3 innings and strikes out 60 kids... that just means that he was given a God's gift of talent. He may indeed act older than he is, but he is still within the age regulations. I just think that everybody needs to mind there own damn business and stop being jealous of him because the Dodgers have been contacting him at the early age of 7. And yes, DAD is his agent.

RFL: During Sony's glorious run towards their first softball championship last December, you played with a broken bone in your right hand. What kind of dedication and effort can we expect from the Blue Collar Workers' players? What's up with your recent rash of dropped fly balls?

BN: The same. I do everything I do at 110 percent. As some of you can see, my roster looks a lot different from when I started. And it's only going to get better. There has been something on the ball that has been making it slide out of my glove. I think we need to check the pitchers out there for illegal substances.

RFL: Any parting shots?

BN: Don't doubt the BCW will be in every game, and sorry to the sorry few of you that will feel my wrath (John of Jersey Juggernauts being the 1st).

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
55 Kurt Warner (Pimps de la Nast)
48 Peyton Manning (Everyone Go Deep)
48 Donovan McNabb (Short-Changed Bastards of Persia)

RB
63 Marshall Faulk (Mahatma's Minions)
42 LaDainian Tomlinson (Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant)
39 Curtis Martin (Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant)
39 Ahman Green (Cleveland Steamers)
36 Edgerrin James (Having a Hard Time)
36 Priest Holmes (Having a Hard Time)

WR
48 Rod Smith (Mahatma's Minions)
30 Terrell Owens (Invasive Species)
27 Jimmy Smith (Cleveland Steamers)
27 Jerry Rice (Short-Changed Bastards of Persia)
24 Marvin Harrison (Jersey Juggernauts)
24 Amani Toomer (Uffdalators)
24 Torry Holt (Boobies!)

TE
18 Bubba Franks (Boobies!)
18 Tony Gonzalez (Fighting Poopy Diapers)
18 Wesley Walls (Mahatma's Minions)

PK
37 Jose Cortez (Blue Collar Workers)
34 Sebastian Janikowski (Dude)
34 Jason Elam (Mahatma's Minions)

be sure to check:
The Season Points Leaders Page
...for a more complete listing of scoring leaders.

Wally	Advantage	Ali
TBrady		TBanks
MFaulk		MAnderson
RDayne		CGarner
RSmith		RMoss
IBruce		JRice
WWalls		????
JElam		JohnHall

I guess there was no getting around picking this one as GOTW. The last 2 undefeated teams, a rematch of last season's epic Aglione Bowl, one GM trying to hold on to his past glory - with the newer GM threatening to leave him in the rearview...
Since Wally took over Mahatma's Minions from Joebob after Week 1, the Minions have upped their ppg from 49 (Week 1) to 57 (Weeks 2-4). Savior Wally has provided a nurturing working environment where the true talents of Faulk, Dayne, Rod, Isaac, Walls and Elam have blossomed.
On the other side of the fence, Ali followed up his Steamroller/Aglione Bowl Double Crown of RFL2k with no respect coming out of the Draft. After punishing his first 3 opponents with a bruising D, Ali got his O in gear last week.
The Brady-Banks QB matchup should be brutal. Faulk might be due for an off week, so the Minions' edge at RB could be minimal. RMoss is finally showing signs of life for SCBoP. This could be the week Moss explodes. IBruce is due this week - after not getting a TD against the lame Lions. Walls and Elam should give Wally at least a 6 pt advantage at those 2 spots.

**** Winning a regular season game hardly makes up for an Aglione Bowl loss, but Minions by 9 ****

6-Dude (3-1, 39.3) by 15 over 1-Blue Collar Workers (1-3, 22.8)
Brad's only advantage might be at QB. Clark's RBs should provide the difference.

3-Having a Hard Time (2-2, 41.0) by 1 over 8-Fighting Poopy Diapers (2-2, 28.3)
Richard needs strong performances from the QB, Edgerrin and V-jagt. Brodz' RBs are due, and TonyG is too.

4-Boobies! (2-2, 41.5) by 7 over 5-Black Knights of the Charles (1-3, 30.5)
Cals needs to pick the right RBs. JoePa needs to overcome running game deficiencies to pull this one out.

9-Pimps de la Nast (0-4, 37.5) by 6 over 15-Invasive Species (1-3, 26.5)
This one could come down to Chrebet vs. DAlexander. Shiv's Chrebet is so due. Will Stan put in MarTAY over Alexander?

14-Cleveland Steamers (1-3, 39.3) by 2 over 10-Everyone Go Deep (2-2, 32.3)
Vesh must choose wisely among his WRs. Aside from Manning and JStew, it looks like Gary's got a bunch of question marks.

11-Uffdalators (3-1, 39.8) by 16 over 13-Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids (1-3, 29.3)
If Kevin can find a QB somewhere, this team could be a contender. Why are Jamal Lewis and Sylvester Morris still on Adam's roster?!?

16-Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant (3-1, 46.8) by 4 over 12-Jersey Juggernauts (2-2, 26.3)
Wang's gotta pick the right RBs. John gets a huge boost from MHarrison's return to the lineup - and picking the right QB would help.

©1999-2001 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: October 9, 2001