I'm sure that each one of us has already had an opportunity to pay our respects to the victims of the attacks on September 11. Personally... I've observed a moment of silence at a softball complex, at a homeowners association meeting, and at work. I've memorialized a fellow BU alum, I've sung ''God Bless America'' multiple times, and I've actioned numerous other ''patriotic'' items.

That said... I hope we all can move RFL forward without any need to draw politics too much into our ''fantasy'' world. Sure, there are those who like to use our forum to Republican-bash... but that can be done in good humor. Delving into how the rest of the world perceives America might prove to be subject matter too deep for the majority of us.

FINAL DISCLAIMER?

If I write anything that one (or more) of you deems insensitive regarding the ''Attack on America'' (or the coming ''War on Terrorism''), please understand that any such perceived insensitivity was not my intent.

LEADERS OF THE PACK

5 teams have broken away from the rest of the League and are setting the pace with their 2-0 records. Mahatma's Minions (Wally) are *averaging* more pts per game (56) than 3 teams have scored for the season. Uffdalators (Kevin) won Week 2's GOTW with 2 starters out on their bye week. Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant (Wang) appears to have 3 good RBs, but little else. Everyone Go Deep (Gary) has essentially been all PManning so far, but has some RB talent waiting to be needed. Short-Changed Bastards of Persia (Ali) is getting it done with the League's top-rated defense (20 ppga) and 2 scrub wins.

The Amber Waves of Grain division took 3 of 4 from the Spacious Skies division, and the Purple Mountain Majesties division went 3-1 against the Patriot Dream division.
Highest scoring team: Mahatma's Minions - 56 ppg
Lowest scoring team: Fighting Poopy Diapers - 25 ppg
Toughest defense: Short-Changed Bastards of Persia - 20 ppg
Softest defense: Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids - 60 ppg
League scoring average: 35.5 ppg (last year 38.7)
Teams with all 6 QB bonus pts: Brad, Wally, Cals (BIG SURPRISE HERE!), JoePa, Clark, Brodz, Shivan, Vesh
Teams with no QB bonus pts: Kevin, John, Adam, Stan, Wang

Getting to the bloody point... on to WIR #2!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Uffdalators 34
Cleveland Steamers 31

4 measly/mealey yards! With the edge in bench pts, Vesh needed 150 yds from Ahman on MNF... but he came up 4 short. Levens had 30, Mealey had 19, Favre ran for 9... even William Henderson ran once for 4! But Ahman didn't get those last 4 - resulting in the end of the Cleveland Steamers' run at a perfect season. With Uffdalators RWilliams and JCarney out on their bye, Kevin seized GM of the Year frontrunner status by deftly inserting THenry into RWilliams' spot - and by calling up JKasay to handle PK chores. And despite pressure from all corners of Uffda-land to dump SSharpe in place of rookie hotshot THeap, Kevin stuck with his 50 year-old TE - as SSharpe's 3 was the difference in the game. If Kevin can solve his QB issue, there might be no stopping this club. On the other side of the fence, Vesh's attempt to showcase TrBrown for a potential trade went largely unnoticed - and the Steamers now have a huge RB controversy brewing between the venerable Emmitt and young stud JJackson.

h'beck 0 thenry 9 dillon 9 tib'n 0 amani 3 sharpe 3 kasay 10
greasy 12 ahman 6 emmitt 3 jsmith 3 trb'n 3 conwell 0 stover 4
--------------------------------------------------------
Blue Collar Workers 23
Black Knights of the Charles 31

Oh, the heartbreak... Brad intimated to the WIR Editor last Wednesday that he thought the Black Knights were ripe for the picking. Despite Chris(tal) Chandelier's shocking 9 pts, all Blue Collar Workers needed for victory #1 was 50 yds + a TD for Kennison on Sunday Nitro. It was not to be. Greasy did lob one up for Easy Eddie in the 2nd half, but even if he hadn't been interfered with... a Cardinal DB would have "defensed" the pass. The battle for Rookie of the Year between Weinke, LaDainian and MBennett has now begun in earnest. JoePa's BKs of the Charles *FINALLY* got him the win to tie JoePa with Bear Pototo for 17th on the all-time RFL list, but RB issues loom on the horizon.
Scrub win for JoePa (1-1).

weinke 9 moe 3 rand'son 0 ek'son 0 tai 0 dilger 3 cortez 8
chandler 9 fredt 0 bennett 3 muhsin 6 qadry 3 riemer 0 wilkins 10
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Mahatma's Minions 63
Dude 27

Thank goodness Wally Grayeski has grabbed the reins for Mahatma's Crazed Minions on the Run! The Minions' sad history of unfulfilled potential might finally come to an end. Look no further than Minion Dayne. Under the previous regime Dayne was a stumbling, bumbling and fumbling buffoon. Under the guidance of GM Wally, Dayne has instantly transformed into a TD-scoring machine! And both WRs increased their production by 9 pts from Week 1. For Clark's Dude, CConway filled in quite adequately for McCaffrey. However... EGeorge's troublesome turf toe and Duce's semi-separated shoulder have the braintrust in Dude HQs scrambling for countermeasures.

brunell 3 mfaulk 9 dayne 6 rod 21 isaac 12 walls 0 elam 12
kerry 3 egeorge 3 duce 0 conway 9 oronde 3 roland 0 j'kow 9
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Having a Hard Time 27
Short-Changed Bastards of Persia 29

The WIR Editor hates 2nd-guessing RFL GMs, but GM Richard of Having a Hard Time opened himself up to take a lot of heat from HHT shareholders this week.
Cardinal sin #1: benching MNF QB Favre in favor of Gannon (going up against those All-Universe DBs in Miami). Whenever you need to pick a starter between 2 comparable players and one is playing on Monday night, *ALWAYS* pick the MNF guy!
Cardinal sin #2: benching JMorton's 12 pts
Despite those 2 hard lessons learned by 2nd year GM Rich, defending champion GM Ali still needed 3 pts from Mike Anderson in Sunday night action to secure the franchise's 11th win in-a-row. Anderson was stuck on 30 yds late in the 4th quarter - with OGary doing a vast majority of the ground damage. But Anderson finally got the garbage time yardage to pull this one out for the Short-Changed Bastards of Persia.
Scrub win for Ali (2-0).

gannon 0 ejames 15 priest 0 jj 0 martin 6 wycheck 0 v'jagt 6
mcnabb 15 ma'son 3 cgarner 6 rmoss 3 mason 0 alex'der 0 hanson 2
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Boobies! 24
Fighting Poopy Diapers 37

League Founder Cals threw down the gauntlet - daring Baby Brodz to start the "special" Ks (Kevan and Koren) in this week's key matchup of 0-1 clubs. Not only did the K-guys start, but Kevan hit paydirt - helping the Fighting Poopy Diapers suck the sweet nectar of victory from Cals' Boobies!! Cals' vaunted passing attack has still yet to get untracked - although Bubba has surged to the League lead in TE pts. Watch out for Boobies! once Daunte and his WRs kick in. Free agent prize Jerome led Baby Brodz' squad this week (Baby Brodz' 1st official move was to install Pathon as a starting WR) - with Elvis also performing well in a supporting role. TonyG is due to bust out more sooner than later.

daunte 6 hearst 0 tallen 3 holt 0 crowell 0 bubba 6 akers 9
elvis 9 sdavis 3 kevan 6 pathon 15 koren 0 tonyg 0 gand'son 4
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Pimps de la Nast 32
Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant 39

In 2 weeks GM Wang has gotten pts from 12 of the 14 starter slots. The 2 zeroes have been from JGeorge. What is up with that Redskin O?!? The BUBE running game once again led a balanced attack as Wang might be forced to deal LaDainian for a QB. Shiv's Pimps de la Nast clearly missed Terrell Davis - as Tyrone wilted badly under the pressure of having to be the lead back (and GComella has no business starting in RFL). Shiv's C-cubed receiving corps is also struggling to get revved up - despite the strong start from KWarner. Warner and Longwell combined for 29, but 0s from your 2 RBs and WR#1 will result in a loss 99% of the time. BUBE survived the bye week of Keyshawn and Mathematica. Wang will need to scrape barrel bottoms for a QB.

warner 16 comella 0 tyrone 0 cris 0 chrebet 3 chad 0 l'well 13
jgeorge 0 cmartin 12 lt'son 6 boston 6 kevj'son 6 byron 3 feely 6
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Everyone Go Deep 45
Invasive Species 36

If GM Stan could ever get off to a fast start, there'd be no stopping him. But once again... Stan has started the season with shovel in hand - digging like a madman. Excellent outings by Flutie and JAnderson were for naught - as fellow Invasive Species TOwens, Stokley and Desmond formed a putrid pass-catching trio. Also damaging to Stan's cause was the 27 pts put up by GM Gary's PManning. Peyton sent MHarrison and JPathon deep repeatedly (and even KDilger once) against the hapless Bills. RWatters, JStewart and JNedney scrounged up just enough couch money to finance the balance of this victory. If the Everyone Go Deep RBs ever start producing up to their expectations, watch out!
Scrub loss for Stan (0-1).

peyton 27 watters 3 stewart 3 freeman 6 snoop 0 dudley 0 nedney 6
flute 12 jamala 15 jallen 3 towens 3 stokley 0 dclark 0 v'tieri 3
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Jersey Juggernauts 52
Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids 34

GM Adam's Rappin' Rabbis put up a respectable fight from afar, but rookie GM John earned his 1st-ever RFL dubya with explosive performances from WRs Harrison and Thrash. This duo bounced back from getting shutout in their last game - to combining for an incredible 45 this Sunday. Although JJ and Terrell failed to get into the scoring column, the RFL Gods were clearly pleased with the Jersey Juggernauts GM's effort in trying to piece together some semblance of a running game while both WDunn and JBettis were on their bye week. If vINTy doesn't start living up to his name soon, he's going to lose his belt to Ty "7 INTs with 1 called back" Detmer. Garcia, Marvcus and Freddie were trip-9s this week for Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids, but 2 straight games of 3-0-0 from Tiki-RB#2-Moulds is bringing the rest of the team down.
Scrub loss for Adam (0-1).

vINTy 0 jjj 0 fletch 0 har'son 24 thrash 21 brady 0 hollis 7
garcia 9 tiki 3 chapman 0 moulds 0 mrob'son 9 freddie 9 omare 4

UNWRITTEN RULE

The topic of dibs seems to be the most popular in this section of the WIR. This week I would like to discuss an unwritten rule that is *usually* observed by the Commish's Office. This rule deals with the Commish *NOT EVER* out-dibsing a fellow GM. GMs have stated (off the record) their concerns about how all their dibs requests go into the League Office for the Commish to review. "What's to stop a Commish of questionable character from *claiming* to have dibsed a guy just before I got my claim in?" - is the most frequent complaint.

In 1999 when the current Commissioner took over for League Founder Cals, the aforementioned unwritten rule was observed 100% diligently. Unless the Commish broadcast a transaction to the entire League (either by email or Transaction Page posting), all dibs claims were awarded to the proper non-Commish GMs in question. Furthermore... any dibs queued player on Tuesday morning (and even any 24-hour dibs queued player during the week) would not be available to the Commish.

Commish #2 felt that this measure of honor and integrity led directly to the RFL Gods crowning Ferocious Underwear the Aglione Bowl champions at the end of the '99 season.

FALL FROM GRACE

However... Commish #2 felt he had some room to maneuver (honor-wise and integrity-wise) in the RFL2k season. When (scrubby) FITH QB Rob Johnson sucked and got hurt, Commish #2 felt justified in (and reverse rationalized) the notion of being able to out-dibs a fellow GM for the almost equally useless Doug Flutie.

The unwritten rule was broken, Commish #2's honor and integrity were compromised, and the RFL Gods punished FITH with 3 straight losses in the playoff bracket.

RETURN TO PROPER WAYS

For the RFL'01 season, your Commish has vowed to return to his honorable ways. The BUBE GM will not out-dibs a fellow GM for any free agent. Let's just hope the RFL Gods are observing this.

ADDITIONAL POLICIES

The Commissioner's Office also does not officially recommend free agent call ups to GMs who are either caught between 2 players - or to GMs who flat out do not know who is available.

And finally... the Commissioner's Office does its best not to "remind" GMs that certain players are having their bye weeks - or make any mention of potential open roster spots for any reason - *especially* when the offending team is playing against a rival of the Commish.

Each GM's duty is to maintain their team to the best of their abilities. When GMs clearly demonstrate a lack of "enthusiasm" in fielding a full team for weeks at a time, please understand that they are subject to getting replaced the following year.

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: John Park, GM, Jersey Juggernauts
*************************************************

John Park is a simple guy with simple desires and motivations. He left NJ in search of an MIT education. He got schooled in Boston and finished up in Providence with a degree from Brown. He moved to California hoping to cash in on the dot-com gold rush. He's now back in NJ - seeking RFL glory after single-handedly dot-bombing 5 startups.

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: Commish Wang passed over you each of the last 2 years (in favor of Gary Eigen and Richard Aguilera) when he was looking to add a new GM. How did that make you feel, John? How big of a chip are you carrying on your shoulder this season?

John Park: How did it make me feel? In the immortal words of one of the mafia bosses in 'Johnny Dangerously': "You summana bitch'in ayesoles, you have wiolated my fargin civil rights!" My inalienable right to own an RFL franchise has been denied me the last two years! Due to this obvious discrimination, I shall have to dole out three years of whoop ass on all of you to make up for the last two years!

RFL: "Jersey Juggernauts" ...kind of a weak team name. What's up with that?

JP: Perhaps you are not familiar with the term Juggernaut. I am an unstoppable giant rampaging through your little fairy tale world! Being from New Jersey just gives me more attitude!

RFL: Foge and League Founder Cals have given you a modest amount of respect coming out of the Draft. How would you rate your own squad? Which Juggernauts in particular should we be fearing?

JP: I think my squad is poised for some ass-kicking, but adjustments will be made along the way. I am pretty loaded at the quarterback position, and I like my two starting running backs... but I will have to pick a backup running back and a tight end who might actually catch a *bleep*ing ball once in a while!!! Definitely fear the THRASH! Harrison's good, but the THRASH has the name.

RFL: How would you explain your managerial/coaching style? What kind of game will your team be playing week-in and week-out? Why is Howard Cross on an RFL roster?

JP: My coaching style would have to be classified as Jimmy Johnson with a mean streak. I will let all my players run wild - as long as they perform on the field. If they want to party with Michael Irvin and his ho's and coke, more power to them! All I got's to say is "DO YOUR JOB AND JUST WIN, BABY!" And above all else, "DON'T TOUCH THE HAIR!!! When you look good, you are good." My teams will cheat, cheat, and cheat some more. They will bite, gouge eyes, twist knees - whatever it takes to win. As for Howard Cross, I am sad to report that Howard Cross is no longer with the team. He will be reinstated WHEN HE CATCHES A *BLEEP*ING BALL!

RFL: From your (inexperienced) perspective, which team looks to have the guns to run the table this season? Why?

JP: I would have to go with 'Everyone Go Deep', and not just because the GM is a pledge brother of mine. A shout out to my homey (Eigen) Vector!!! He's got the big time QB, good running backs and some quality receivers. I'm thinking he's gonna buy me dinner with the winnings this year.

RFL: Rumor has it that Commish Wang withheld your invitation to join RFL as long as you were supposed to be working towards making him a multi-millionaire (the Embark.com IPO). I guess it turns out that the very time and "effort" you put into Wang's former employer might have actually been the torpedo that sank the IPO. What do you have to say about this?

JP: YES YES AND YES!!! The Wanger will never see a single dime out of Embark.com until he promises me half, baby! Do not doubt my skills. I have single-handedly brought the mighty Internet economy crashing down! And if anyone pisses me off, I shall have to start looking for a job again.

RFL: A prolific set of RFL GMs have clamped on the ball and chain of late (League Founder Cals, League Sage Brodz, Self-Proclaimed "Guru" Joebob, Jamal Lewis/Sylvester Morris-drafter Adam). What's the word regarding you and the fair Elaine?

JP: I know not what you speak of. If this is a sad attempt to attack my manhood and distract me from the task at hand, I say BAH. Just because some of us have managed to climb out of the primordial cesspool and successfully attract a mate by bathing and learning how to use utensils, does not mean the rest of you should be jealous. Some day you too shall learn to walk upright and take your place among the civilized humans.

RFL: Your Miserable Mets have pulled an absolute stinker this season! Although... their recent "too little too late" charge might keep Bobby Valentine around for 1 more year. What do you have to say in defense of the indefensible?

JP: Indefensible? The Mets were just biding their time until the time was right. As our Commisioner Wang might know, it is never a good thing to blow one's wad too early - doesn't make a good impression on the chicks. It is much more dramatic to stage a late season rally. And besides, there was way too much golf to be played during the summer for the Mets to worry about baseball. All I have to say about Bobby Valentine is, "No Comment."

RFL: Your Jugganuts got SPANKED 57-12 in their 1st ever outing! However, you did manage to beat Adam's RRR in Week 2 - while Adam was still on his honeymoon overseas. Any parting shots as the cupcake city part of your schedule is almost over?

JP: As might be expected, my team just needed some time to build chemistry and warm up a little. An expansion team cannot be expected to hit the season in full stride. We are just starting to stretch our muscles and get a feel for the League. After all, it's not how you start that matters, it's how you finish.

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
36 Peyton Manning (Everyone Go Deep)
27 Brian Griese (Cleveland Steamers)
27 Donovan McNabb (Short-Changed Bastards of Persia)

RB
33 Edgerrin James (Having a Hard Time)
27 Ahman Green (Cleveland Steamers)
24 Curtis Martin (Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant)
24 Jamal Anderson (Invasive Species)
21 Marshall Faulk (Mahatma's Minions)
21 Corey Dillon (Uffdalators)

WR
33 Rod Smith (Mahatma's Minions)
24 Marvin Harrison (Jersey Juggernauts)
21 Jimmy Smith (Cleveland Steamers)
21 James Thrash (Jersey Juggernauts)
18 Amani Toomer (Uffdalators)
15 Muhsin Muhammad (Black Knights of the Charles)
15 Isaac Bruce (Mahatma's Minions)
15 Jerome Pathon (Fighting Poopy Diapers)

TE
12 Bubba Franks (Boobies!)
9 Ernie Conwell (Cleveland Steamers)
9 Freddie Jones (Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids)

PK
22 Sebastian Janikowski (Dude)
19 Jason Elam (Mahatma's Minions)
18 Jose Cortez (Blue Collar Workers)
18 Jeff Wilkins (Black Knights of the Charles)

be sure to check:
The Season Points Leaders Page
...for a more complete listing of scoring leaders.

Wally	Advantage	Kevin
MBrunell		MHasselbeck
MFaulk		RWilliams
RDayne		CDillon
RodSmith		TimBrown
IBruce		AToomer
WWalls		SSharpe
JElam		JCarney

Rarely is a team granted consecutive appearances on GOTW, but Minions-Uffdalators is the only contest this week featuring 2 2-0 teams - and these 2 clubs also are 1st and 3rd in overall scoring. After barely getting past Vesh's Cleveland Steamers in last week's GOTW, Kevin gets Ricky Williams and John Cahney back - and a date with Wally's top-ranked Crazed Minions.
Minion Faulk has yet to have one of his crazy 4 TD 250 yd games, so he might be due against Uffdalators. Wally also should have a decided advantage in the WR matchups. For Kevin to win, he will need his pass catchers to hang with Wally's - and a blowout in the Dillon-Dayne slot.
Brunell vs. Hasselbeck should be rather uninteresting.
Kevin might have a tough call to make between Kasay and Cahney.

**** Faulk explodes, Minions by 8 ****

12-Jersey Juggernauts (1-1, 32.0) by 26 over 1-Blue Collar Workers (0-2, 25.5)
John gets his RBs back. Brad has no RBs or WRs.

3-Having a Hard Time (1-1, 39.0) by 5 over 10-Everyone Go Deep (2-0, 37.0)
Richard should get a big game from Edgerrin. Gary needs Watters and a WR to step up alongside Manning.

9-Pimps de la Nast (0-2, 30.0) by 3 over 4-Boobies! (0-2, 29.5)
Both teams' RB situations are in disarray. Shiv has better WRs. Cals' Culpepper is due, but Shiv has CCarter.

16-Brooding Unicorn Blithe Elephant (2-0, 41.0) by 4 over 5-Black Knights of the Charles (1-1, 33.0)
Wang has a void at QB, but perhaps an edge at WR#2. JoePa needs a #2 RB, but has the better PK.

15-Invasive Species (0-2, 28.0) by 1 over 6-Dude (1-1, 41.0)
Stan should have slight edges at RB and WR. Clark's team is beseiged with injuries.

7-Short-Changed Bastards of Persia (2-0, 29.5) by 6 over 14-Cleveland Steamers (1-1, 49.5)
Ali has RMoss due for 18 or 21. Vesh needs big games from Greasy and Jimmy Smith - and perhaps some "surprise" pts from a RB or WR.

8-Fighting Poopy Diapers (1-1, 25.0) by 2 over 13-Rabbis Rappin' on 'Roids (0-2, 26.5)
Adam just might have enough to win this one. Brodz might need a big win in the TE CLASH OF THE CENTURY - TonyG vs. FeddieJ.

©1999-2001 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: September 25, 2001