This season's two winningest teams made it to Aglione Bowl XI: Ali's Heirs to the Ayatollah (14-2, 53.4 ppg, 8 game winning streak) will take on Joebob's Na Brown's Boys (12-4, 42.0 ppg, 11 game winning streak) for the Championship of Alternate Reality Football.
Ali was in a tough struggle with Brodz' The Determined Sperm Which Squirm Like Worms With Firm Stern Perms until Marshall Faulk busted the game wide open. Joebob needed some Shaun King come-from-behind Monday Night Madness (and an edge in bench points) to topple Clark's All Jacked Up.

PLEASE PASS THE MOONSHINE

Highest scoring team: Heirs to the Ayatollah - 53.4 ppg
Lowest scoring team: The Everyday Tokers - 27.9 ppg
Toughest defense: Heirs to the Ayatollah - 34.7 ppg
Softest defense: Minnesota Nice - 45.4 ppg
League scoring average: 39.0 ppg
Teams with most 50-yard bonus pts: TAQAP(tm) (159), AJU (156) & NBB (153)
Teams with least bonus pts: TET (81), %$!@#& (108) & CB (120)
Enough random babbling... on to WIR #16!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Heirs to the Ayatollah 57
TheDeterminedSpermWhichSquirm... 27

Heirs to the Ayatollah and The Determined Sperm... battled tooth and nail to a 27-27 draw over the weekend - with Brodz' Sperm holding the bench points advantage (Frank Moreau and Andre Rison combined for 15 compared to Scott Mitchell's 6). However, Ali's Heirs had Marshall Faulk in the hole - and against the Bucs on Monday Night, Faulk exploded for enough points to single-handedly defeat Brodz' starters. Faulk also surged past Edgerrin for a 20-pt lead in the overall scoring race. Sperm refugee Moulds did his best to undermine the Heirs' effort by getting blanked in this contest. Exiled counterpart JGarcia trucked his way to 15 for The Sperm. But Daunte's 21 matched the output of Garcia, MAnderson and CConway. Perhaps Ali will be allowed the *only* vote in picking an RFL MVP between Daunte and Marshall.

c'pper 21 mfaulk 30 rsmith 0 moulds 0 chrebet 0 wycheck 0 dgreco 6
garcia 15 prentice 0 mand'son 3 har'son 0 conway 3 tonyg 0 nedney 6
----------------------------------------------------------------------
All Jacked Up 43 (3)
Na Brown's Boys 43 (3+)

For the 2nd playoff contest in a row, Joebob's title hopes hinged on QB action in Monday Night Madness. Last week, the non-effort of FITH's Rob Sissy-Boy Johnson allowed Na Brown's Boys to ease into this week's semis. This week, the Herculean effort of Shaun King (how?!? who?!? what?!?!?) pulled NBB from the depths of despair and into an Aglione Bowl XI matchup with HTTA. In the 1st quarter, things looked bad for NBB as TB kicked a FG - and WDunn ran a TD in. Then in quarter #2, SKing busted out for 2 TD tosses to Keyshawn. King also had his yardage total up towards 200 at the half. Things were looking good for Joebob. But as the 2nd half played out... it appeared that King would not get the final 3 pts that NBB needed. DMoore and JGreen were dropping TD passes left and right. Keyshawn and WDunn were also dropping passes that kept King's yardage total down. WDunn finally took a swing pass in for a TD, but the "pass" was ruled a lateral! And then... with the Bucs on the Ram 2... King tossed an INT that appeared to send Clark's All Jacked Up into his first Ags Bowl! But after the Rams struck (too) quickly for a TD, King received one last shot at pulling this one out for Joebob. The 2 key plays:
1) a toss sweep to WDunn where he was about to lose 14 yds, but Dunn lateraled back to King for a net GAIN of 15!
2) a 22-yd pass completed to Reidel Anthony (Anthony's 1st catch in 4 or 5 games!) that put King over 300 yds!
Clark's 3rd rated rushing tandem of Eddie and Tiki came through yet again with 39, but AJU's 13th ranked WR corps "led" the way to a *devastating* 0 total pts from the passing game. Clark *thought* that he could counter Joebob's evil by recruiting OJ onto AJU's bench, but perhaps Clark now has a better idea of the *true* depth and breadth that is THE EVIL OF JOEBOB.

AJU bench: rice 3 griese/rthomas/OJ/mathis 0
NBB bench: seder 7

gus 0 tiki 12 egeorge 27 dawkins 0 mason 0 freddie 0 anderson 4
king 9 bettis 6 green 15 cris 9 ed 3 mangum 0 elam 1
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Fresh Squeezed 37
Minnesota Nice 53

Something must be wrong when you get 15 from Richard Huntley (while Bettis is still healthy) - and you *still* lose! Cals' Fresh Squeezed also had a 2 pt lead going into MNM with IBruce going against Keyshawn. Keyshawn, his 18 pts, and the Bucs clinched a playoff spot. Isaac, his goose-egg, and the Rams look like they'll finish behind the LIONS for the last NFC playoff spot! WHAT?!?!? For Kevin's Minnesota Nice, Keyshawn received a nice amount of support from the RBs and PK. Curtis Martin is now #7 in RB pts. MN will face CB for 5th place - and 25 RFL bucks.

kordell 0 jamala 6 huntley 15 toomer 9 ibruce 0 jackie 0 stover 7
brooks 0 cmartin 12 tallen 9 key 18 alex'er 3 dudley 0 brien 11
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Fire in the Hole 26
Carpet Bombers 54

Tim's Carpet Bombers spanked Wang's scrubby FITH again. This time Lamar and Ryan scored all the pts CB would need to overrun a FITH squad last in WR pts for the season. KWarner and JSmith also kicked in a pair of 9s for Tim. JStewart has settled in at #10 in RB pts.

kitna 6 emmitt 6 stewart 9 thrash 0 ken'son 0 sharpe 0 wilkins 5
warner 9 lsmith 12 tyrone 6 jsmith 9 tmartin 3 c'ford 0 l'well 15
----------------------------------------------------------------------
TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm) 29
Nasty Pimps 44

Like Samson without his hair, Stan's The Armchair Quarterback Adventure Playset (tm) was powerless against the Nasty Pimps without his Eagle duo of Chad and Akers. Wiggins and Richey attempted to fill in gamely, but clearly Stan's absence of Eagles (the Eagles are in the playoffs ahead of the Rams?!?!?!?) left a huge void on the scoreboard. Shiv's WR duo of Muhsin and TO (the #1 WR combo in the League) scored enough to win this one for Nasty Pimps. Favre and Daluiso piled on some running-up-the-score pts. NP will face BO in Scrub Bowl XI.

mcnair 0 jallen 0 jamall 12 sucks 6 rod 6 wiggy 0 richey 5
favre 9 alstott 0 pittman 0 muhsin 9 towens 21 roland 0 daluiso 5
----------------------------------------------------------------------
%$!@#& 10
Black Ops 40

Edgerrin now faces an uphill struggle to repeat his 1999 RFL scoring title. EJames sits 20 pts behind MFaulk with 1 game to go. %$!@#&'s 10 pts matched Stan and Cals for the 2nd lowest single-game scoring output of the season. Gary put up a woeful 8 in Week 3 of this season. Black Ops has gone 4-2 (with 2 scrub losses) over the last 6 weeks. FTaylor has a shot at finishing #4 in RB scoring for JoePa - in only 13 starts. Gannon should hold onto his 3rd team All-RFL status. And THolt is now tied with CCarter for #6 in WR scoring.

elvis 0 ejames 6 anders 0 morton 0 qadry 0 dmoore 0 c'stie 4
gannon 3 ftaylor 12 peabo 6 jgreen 3 holt 15 sloan 0 johall 1
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Curly Back Hair 19
Merry Munching Merkins 29

Vesh ended his losing skid at 7 - while Adam's now stands at 7. Tony Richardson - angered by the slap in the face in WIR #14 - exploded for 15 against Curly Back Hair. Merry Munching Merkins also has the current 3rd team All-RFL PK in Vanderjagt. CGarner and SDavis are fading fast for Adam. Neither will make an All-RFL team at this rate.

b'lein 6 sdavis 3 cgarner 3 oronde 0 jef'son 0 becht 0 mare 7
bj 0 rich'son 15 dillon 3 tibrown 3 albert 0 dilger 0 v'jagt 8
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazed Beagles on the Run 60
The Everyday Tokers 29

If the Beagles were in the semis this week, they'd be on their way to Aglione Bowl XI right now! WDunn now stands at #12 in RB scoring for Wally. Manning should make 2nd team All-RFL QB. KFaulk is even ahead of Biakabutuka in RB scoring! Richard's squad was led again by RMoss. Moss (#1 WR) and Gramatica (#2 PK) look to be TET's All-RFL representatives.

peyton 9 wdunn 27 kfaulk 9 freeman 9 yancey 0 riem'ma 0 jan'ski 6
brunell 3 dayne 0 shaun 6 moss 12 twilkins 0 bubba 0 gr'tica 8
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
Team ---- ADD ---- DROP
cals: add randy jordan, drop donnell/edgar/cornelius bennett
ali: add bubby brister, drop scott mitchell
wang: add thomas jones, drop eddie kennison

missed dibs:
-none-

be sure to check:
The RFL Transaction Page
...for a complete listing of transactions.

********************************************************
WANG'S WINGIN' IT
====== ======= ==

3 Saturday games in Week 17: Jaguars at Giants, Niners at Broncos, Bills at Seahawks.
Please keep in mind the effect on the depth chart and dibs queue rules.

I will be leaving SJ for MS on Saturday morning. If you want to submit a d chart after Friday evening, you must phone it in:
408 955-4695 - leave message.
662 234-7841 - only speak to me in person. do not leave message.

Playoff Bracket:

Quarters	Semis	Aglione Bowl XI
#1 HTTA 63
#8 MN 40
	HTTA 57
#4 Sperm 35	Sperm 27
#5 FS 24		HTTA
		NBB
#2 AJU 57
#7 CB 50	AJU 43 (3)
	NBB 43 (3+)	3rd Place
#3 NBB 52		*********
#6 FITH 46	Consolation	Sperm
	***********	AJU
	MN 53
	FS 37	5th Place
		*********
	CB 54	MN
	FITH 26	CB
		7th Place
		*********
		FS
		FITH

anti-playoff Bracket:

Quarters	Semis	Scrub Bowl
#9 TAQAP(tm) 59
#16 Mmm 29
	TAQAP(tm) 29
#12 CBH 28	NP 44
#13 NP 33		NP
		BO
#10 %$!@#& 51
#15 TET 27	%$!@#& 10
	BO 40	11th Place
#11 BO 45		*********
#14 CBotR 25	Consolation	TAQAP(tm)
	***********	%$!@#&
	Mmm 29
	CBH 19	13th Place
		*********
	TET 29	Mmm
	CBotR 60	CBotR
		Last Place
		*********
		CBH
		TET

Playoff Game Tiebreakers:

During the regular season... if two teams tie with respect to starter points and bench points, the game is declared a tie. In the playoffs, the tiebreaker system below is employed:
1) BENCH POINTS
2) TOTAL YARDS (PASSING, RUSHING, RECEIVING) BY STARTERS
3) BENCH YARDS
4) COIN TOSS

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Richard Aguilera, GM, The Everyday Tokers
*************************************************

After the reams of complaints from Richard Aguilera's legions of followers regarding the "one-sided" nature of Mr. Aguilera's Week 4 Profile, we decided to revisit one of RFL's newest members. Below is Part 2 of the 3-part profile. Please stay tuned for what should be a more interesting Part 3 in the near future.

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: You're on the verge of finishing your first season of RFL action. What are your thoughts? Will you be up for the challenge next year?

Richard Aguilera: No comment.

RFL: Please explain your team name.

RA: No comment.

RFL: Picking Moss, Keyshawn and Brunell in your 1st 3 rounds has proven to have been in the ballpark. Your season kind of fell apart in rounds 4 and 5 (CEnis and NKaufman - when you *could* have had WDunn and JBettis). What were your expectations of Enis and Nap? What was your Draft strategy in general?

RA: No comment.

RFL: Please give us a brief history of you. Where did the "Life of Richard" begin? How did you get from the there and then to the here and now?

RA: No comment.

RFL: Please compare and contrast your experiences with Sony and RFL.

RA: No comment.

RFL: You have obviously sensed the jealous nature of other RFL GMs towards the 5-time Super Bowl Champion Dallas Cowboys(!!!). If they can get and stay healthy, what kind of season should America's Team have in 2001?

RA: No comment.

RFL: How has "Richard Aguilera" changed since becoming the *other* half of Mr. and Mrs. Lisa Aguilera?

RA: No comment.

RFL: Since graciously handing over the reins of the Sony Softball team to Commish #2, do you feel that this was a Landry-to-Jimmy transition? or a Shula-to-Jimmy transition? Why?

RA: No comment.

RFL: Please state for the League your 3 best sports - and a true assessment of your playing ability in each.

RA: No comment.

RFL: Any closing comments?

RA: No comment.

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
164 Daunte Culpepper (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
118 Peyton Manning (Crazed Beagles on the Run)
110 Rich Gannon (Black Ops)

RB
232 Marshall Faulk (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
212 Edgerrin James (%$!@#&)
183 Eddie George (All Jacked Up)
155 Mike Anderson (The Determined Sperm...)
153 Fred Taylor (Black Ops)
150 Robert Smith (Heirs to the Ayatollah)

WR
149 Randy Moss (The Everyday Tokers)
143 Terrell Owens (Nasty Pimps)
132 Rod Smith (TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm))
120 Marvin Harrison (The Determined Sperm...)
114 Isaac Bruce (Fresh Squeezed)
105 Cris Carter (Na Brown's Boys)
105 Torry Holt (Black Ops)

TE
90 Tony Gonzalez (The Determined Sperm...)
60 Shannon Sharpe (Fire in the Hole)
51 Freddie Jones (All Jacked Up)

PK
129 Matt Stover (Fresh Squeezed)
120 Martin Gramatica (The Everyday Tokers)
114 Mike Vanderjagt (Merry Munching Merkins)

be sure to check:
The RFL Season Point Leaders page
...for an expanded list of scoring leaders.

Ali	Advantage	Joebob
DCulpepper		SKing
MFaulk		AGreen
RSmith		JBettis
EMoulds		CCarter
WChrebet		EMcCaffrey
FWycheck		KMangum
ADelGreco		JElam

Back in Week 4, Heirs to the Ayatollah scrubbed their way to a 35-25 dubya over Na Brown's Boys. Ali would then go on to a 5th straight W before losing their 1st game. Joebob would then lose one more (to fall to 1-4) before starting his current 11-game victory tour.
So now the entire season has come down to The Rematch in the Mosque. Joebob will bring his Brown Geezers in from Calcutta to Tehran's "hostile confines." Despite losing OJ from his "scouting" party, Joebob's scouting duo of Lawrence Phillips and Cecil Collins still managed to ding Culpepper just enough to cast doubt on his ability to play a full game this weekend.
Heirs' prolific RB duo (Marshall Faulk and Robert Smith) is still intact for this game, though. Joebob's RB pair (A Green and J Bettis) is good, but will struggle to keep the RB matchup close.
Na Brown's Boys' huge edge will be in the WR matchup. C Carter and E McCaffrey should be able to make up the RB deficit against the struggling E Moulds and W Chrebet.
That leaves the game hanging in the balance between the QBs, TEs and PKs. HTTA's Wycheck might be slightly better than NBB's Mangum, but both will most likely go scoreless. HTTA's Del Greco and NBB's Elam both have plusses and minuses that should even things out.
So... perhaps Aglione Bowl XI will hinge on HTTA's Culpepper/Brister vs. NBB's King - and perhaps Lawrence and Cecil diabolically got the job done!
I like NBB's overall balance vs. HTTA's potential explosiveness in this "Any Given Sunday" situation.

**** The winners might not get out alive!: NBB by 1 ****

********************************************************
Other Tilts:

Astro-Bluebonnet Bowl - 3rd Place Game:
TheDeterminedSpermWhichSquirm... (10-6, 44.9) by 6 over All Jacked Up (11-5, 42.9)

Tangerine Bowl - 5th Place Game:
Minnesota Nice (8-8, 42.8) by 2 over Carpet Bombers (9-7, 44.6)

Commish's Clash - 7th Place Game:
Fresh Squeezed (9-7, 38.8) by 4 over Fire in the Hole (9-7, 36.2)

Scrub Bowl - 9th Place Game:
Black Ops (7-9, 39.2) by 3 over Nasty Pimps (7-9, 34.3)

thewanger.com Bowl - 11th Place Game:
TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm) (8-8, 37.0) by 5 over %$!@#& (7-9, 34.0)

Candlepin Bowl - 13th Place Game:
Crazed Beagles on the Run (5-11, 38.1) by 9 over Merry Munching Merkins (3-13, 32.9)

Smoke-a-Bowl - Avoid Last Place Game:
Curly Back Hair (5-11, 35.5) by 0 over The Everyday Tokers (4-12, 27.9)

Lineups due by 9am Pacific SATURDAY (by phone)!!!
(email by friday!)
RFL Hotline: (408) 955-4695 for messages, (662) 234-7841 to speak with Commish in person

©1999-2000 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: December 19, 2000