Ali's Heirs to the Ayatollah scrubbed their way to dubya #8 - and maintained their 1-game lead on 3 heel-nippers. Carpet Bombers, Fire in the Hole (figuratively) and Fresh Squeezed are in the Steamroller hunt at 7-3. %$!@#&, All Jacked Up, The Determined Sperm Which Squirm Like Worms With Firm Stern Perms and Na Brown's Boys round out the current set of The Playoff Eight. Curly Back Hair and Minnesota Nice are both at 5-5 and primed to grab a postseason berth should one of the above 8 falter. Nasty Pimps and The Armchair Quarterback Adventure Playset (tm) need to win all 4 remaining regular season games to have a shot at the Aglione Bowl. Black Ops' hopes are pretty dim, but they *finally* have their RB duo of TDavis and FTaylor up and running.

NO NEW TAXES

Highest scoring team: Heirs to the Ayatollah - 52.8 ppg
Lowest scoring team: The Everyday Tokers - 25.7 ppg
Toughest defense: TheDeterminedSperm... - 34.7 ppg
Softest defense: Minnesota Nice - 45.2 ppg
League scoring average: 39.1 ppg
Teams with most 50-yard bonus pts: All Jacked Up (102) and Fresh Squeezed (99)
Teams with least bonus pts: The Everyday Tokers (51), %$!@#& (69) and Carpet Bombers (69)
The weak Dan Quayle Division rebounded from 2 consecutive 0-4 weeks to take 3 of 4 from the Newt Gingrich Division, and the George Bush Division took 3 of 4 from the Jesse Helms Division.
The Jesse Helms Div still leads the way with 25 combined wins.
Enough random babbling... on to WIR #10!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
Crazed Beagles on the Run 40
TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm) 46

In a game where both teams *needed* a dubya in the worst of ways... Wally's Beagles got smooshed and came out flat against the Playsets (tm). At 2-8, Wally has been reduced to playing for pride. At 4-6, Stan still most likely needs to win out to secure a playoff spot - with an 8-6 record. Freeman had the sweet OT TD catch on Monday Night, but he was still 7 pts short of pulling out a W for Wally. Manning and Marcus also ran well for the Beagles. James Sensenbrenner (R Rep WI) PK'ed for Wally - as Janikowski came down with a last-minute case of cellulite of the foot, and Hollis was out on a BYE. Joe Horn continues to impress for TAQAP (tm). McNair and Chad got KFaulked.

peyton 10 wdunn 3 kfaulk 0 freeman 12 marcus 9 riem'ma 6 S'brenner X
mcnair 0 jallen 6 jlewis 9 horn 15 rod 6 chad 0 akers 10
----------------------------------------------------------------------
%$!@#& 57
Na Brown's Boys 66

With 3 scrub wins in the last 4 weeks, you had to figure that Gary would not be able to hide from the Reaper too much longer. Well... the Reaper finally appeared on Gary's front porch in the person of a whiny Joebob. Joebob, apparently the only GM in fantasy football world who did not know that Levens was OUT against the Vikes on Monday Night, backed into big numbers from Ahman - as Ahman and Cris combined for 27 to overcome an 18 pt deficit in Monday Night Madness. Elvis ROCKED the rims for 27, and Edgerrin was more human than human for %$!@#& for the 4th week in a row, but Na Brown's Boys countered with a more balanced attack - as Ahman, Ed and Jason all hit double figures. John McCain (R Sen AZ) TE'ed for Gary.
Scrub Loss for Gary (3-1)

elvis 27 ejames 18 anders 0 morton 2 trbrown 0 McCain X c'stie 10
king 9 green 18 bettis 3 cris 9 ed 15 kinchen 0 elam 12
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Curly Back Hair 43
Fresh Squeezed 54

Adam jinxed himself by questioning how Vegas made Curly Back Hair a 3 pt fave against Cals. The Feds will be paying CBH HQs a visit soon to investigate the mysterious circumstances surrounding the 3 0s posted by Oronde, Rocket and Pete. Also drawing suspicion was SDavis' goalline fumble. Toomer came up huge again for Fresh Squeezed. IBruce has started to complain about the lack of balls coming his way, and JHarris has started pulling a Ben Coates-like vanishing act. Jeff, Isaac and Stover were trip 9s for The Vulture.
Scrub Loss for Adam (1-2)

b'lein 8 sdavis 15 garner 9 oronde 0 rocket 0 mitchell 0 mare 11
blake 9 jamala 6 biaka 3 toomer 18 ibruce 9 jackie 0 stover 9
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Heirs to the Ayatollah 33
Merry Munching Merkins 19

Ali survives the last-minute scratch of MFaulk, but only due to a 2nd consecutive sub-par outing by Vesh's Mmm. After setting the all-time RFL single-game scoring record in Week 8 (84), Vesh has mailed it in with 50 pts over the past 2 weekends. Ali will need a better #2 RB to take on Brodz this weekend. Heirs to the Ayatollah needed 8 pts on Monday Night for the come-from-behind win - and got 15 from Robert Smith. Tony Richardson was a pleasant surprise for the Merkins with 9, but Corey and Albert came of 57 pts short of their Week 8 performance. A. Paul Cellucci (R Gov MA) QB'ed for Vesh.
Scrub Dubya for Ali (2-2)

c'pper 6 moe 0 rsmith 15 moulds 0 chrebet 3 wycheck 0 dgreco 9
Cellucci X rich'son 9 dillon 0 tibrown 3 albert 0 dilger 3 v'jagt 4
----------------------------------------------------------------------
All Jacked Up 41
Fire in the Hole 51

Clark needed 19 from GAnderson to pull out this W on Monday Night. Like shooting fish in a barrel, right? After all... Anderson is the top scorer in NFL history. However... new FITH D Coordinator Bobby Ross (given only 8 hours to work after resigning as Detroit's head coach) devised a clever scheme to hold Anderson to single digits! All 7 All Jacked Up starters scored, but none hit the thumb on the left hand. Shannon and Emmitt led the way for Wang's team, but the WR issues remain. Draftees Terance (bench) and Amani (The Vulture's current #2 WR) combined for 33.

griese 9 tiki 3 egeorge 6 dhayes 9 dmason 3 freddie 3 anderson 8
flutie 3 emmitt 12 stewart 9 cjohnson 0 dawkins 6 sharpe 15 pstoy' 6
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Carpet Bombers 59
Black Ops 36

Carpet Bombers ran their winning streak to 3 - as Trent, Tyrone and Lamar combined for 45. Tim also hit the TE lottery with Casey Crawford. Who?!?!? Jimmy Smith's absence has not caught up to Tim yet, but perhaps CBH will have something to say about that this weekend. Terrell is back for JoePa! TD notched his first points of the season! But at 3-7... will it be too late to salvage a berth in the playoffs? Terrell and Fred will be reunited this coming weekend against NBB. Secret Agent Man Gannon matched Terrell's dozen for Black Ops.

trent 15 tyrone 12 lsmith 18 poole 0 shepherd 0 c'ford 6 l'well 8
gannon 12 centers 0 tdavis 12 boston 3 holt 6 sloan 3 hanson 0
----------------------------------------------------------------------
TheDeterminedSpermWhichSquirm... 22
Minnesota Nice 63

After scoring 59 and 57 in scrub losses the last 2 weeks, Kevin took no chances this weekend - running up the score against Brodz. Sperm Nedney needed a double-nickel Sunday night to seize victory from the maw of defeat, but came up 14 FGs short. Fiedler was the only Minnestronsity to get shut out in this game. Derrick Alexander has moved up to #9 on the WR list. Keyshawn netted his 2nd consecutive dozen since being traded from TET. Brodz' RB situation is in shambles now that Terrell is back - and now that Prentice has no passing game to divert attention away from his Brown running game. Perhaps Marshall's injury will give Sperm JWatson a few weeks of production. This would have been Kevin's 5th straight W if not for 3 scrub losses!

garcia 3 mand'son 0 pr'tice 0 har'son 0 lcoles 0 tonyg 6 nedney 13
fiddler 0 cmartin 12 rw''ms 9 key 12 alex'er 18 alex'er 3 khepp 9
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Everyday Tokers 18
Nasty Pimps 27

Nothing like scrubby Monday Night Madness at the bottom of the standings! Bubba did some things on special teams - like blocking and running downfield and arm tackling, but failed to cut into Nasty Pimps' 9 pt lead. Moss got 100+ yds for The Tokers, but the way the Fudge was playing zone... Randy *should* have had 200+ and at least 2 TDs. On Shivan's side, Favre's case of tennis elbow is clearly affecting his brain - as Favre's 2 TD passes consisted of a drop shot to Green and a topspin lob to Freeman. PK continues to be a strength for Richard's offensive TET, and Mary Bono (R Rep CA) QB'ed for Richard. Pittman was the difference in this game for Shivan.

Bono X dayne 3 kaufman 0 moss 6 twilkins 0 bubba 0 gr'tica 9
favre 6 alstott 0 pittman 9 muhsin 3 towens 3 roland 0 daluiso 6
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Having completed 10 of 14 weeks of the regular season, let's take a look at how the RFL2k Awards Ballot is shaping up. If you feel that someone has been left out unfairly, please feel free to speak up!

RFL2k AWARDS FRONTRUNNERS

RFL MVP:

+ Kurt Warner (Tim) - #1 in QB pts, but about to be caught by Culpepper and Manning.
+ Marshall Faulk (Ali) - #1 in RB pts, and #1 overall - but only 2 points ahead of Edgerrin.
+ Terrell Owens (Shivan) - #1 in WR pts and #6 overall. The bright sun on a team of black holes.
+ Tony Gonzalez (Brodz) - #1 in TE pts - and stretching his lead more each week after a slow start.
+ Matt Stover (Cals) - #1 in PK pts - and has scored more pts than all his Raven teammates combined (87 to 80)!

Steal of the Draft:

+ Jeff Garcia (Ali, 10th round) - throwing TD passes like Warner did last year. Ali was able to trade Garcia (who wasn't going to unseat Culpepper) for desperately needed WR help (EMoulds).
+ Tiki Barber (Clark, 8th) - 17th in RB pts - ahead of RWatters, FTaylor, Dlevens, RDayne, ...
+ Trent Green (Tim, 9th) - We *had* to figure that KWarner's charmed life would hit a bump or two this year!
+ Sammy Morris (Wally, 11th) - starting and producing for the Bills - after beating out ASmith, JLinton, SBryson, TThomas, and OJ.
+ Derrick Alexander (Kevin, 10th) - teams with Elvis and TonyG for a most potent passing O in KC

Bust of the Draft:

For purposes of this discussion, players knocked out due to injury were not considered. + Jon Kitna (Gary, 2nd round) - lost job to Brock, scored 6 pts in 3 starts
+ Carl Pickens (Clark, 2nd) - was supposed to be missing link in Titan passing attack, now Gary's headache, 6 pts in 4 starts
+ Keyshawn Johnson (Richard, 2nd) - more turf stuck to his face than pts on the board, 12 pts in each of the last 2 weeks, might finally be warming up
+ Muhsin Muhammad (Shivan, 3rd) - should be lighting it up with Jeffers sitting the season out, 30 pts in 9 starts, fewer pts than FSanders
+ Rickey Dudley (Stan, 3rd) - Stan was the unlucky GM outside the Bay Area who didn't see this year's preseason signs. Perhaps this past week's 15 bench pts will trick Kevin into starting him! ;-)

Pickup of the Year:

+ Oronde Gadsden (Adam, before Week 1) - tied for #23 in WR pts with 30 after starting 5 of 10 games
+ Mike Anderson (Brodz, before Week 2) - #13 in RB pts (just ahead of CDillon and TBiakabutuka), but Terrell is back
+ Jason Elam (Joebob, before Week 5) - Gary could not afford the roster spot for a hurt Elam, so Joebob was able to shore up his Draft Day blunder
+ Jackie Harris (Cals, before Week 3) - #6 in TE pts, but Cals picks this stiff up *every* year
+ Amani Toomer (Cals, before Week 8) - Wang showed no patience with this UMich loser. Amani now has 30 pts in the last 2 weeks.

GM of the Year:

The talents that make an RFL GM of the Year include being a strong drafter, having a keen eye for talent in the free agent pool, making FAIR trades that benefit his team, and demonstrating his team's studliness by posting big numbers and W's between the white lines.

+ Gary (%$!@#&) - after starting the season 2-3, Gary has led his squad back to 6-4. Edgerrin was the no-brainer; Elvis is paying off handsomely. %$!@#& was #10 in the Combined Preseason Poll.
+ Ali (Heirs to the Ayatollah) - Ali's strong draft landed him at #1 in the Combined Preseason Poll. Trading JGarcia for EMoulds filled in the only weakness in the starting 7. HTTA is the clearcut Steamroller favorite, but an Aglione Bowl contender might be sneaking up from back in the pack!
+ Tim (Carpet Bombers) - #4 in the Combined Preseason Poll, was mindful to draft TGreen behind KWarner, WR is a trouble spot with JSmith injured, but RB strength (Wheatley, Watters & LSmith) has kept the Ws coming
+ Kevin (Minnesota Nice) - no respect coming out of the Draft (ranked #14), but is averaging OVER 60 PTS over the last 4 weeks. Trades for Keyshawn and Dudley are looking great now. Aglione Bowl darkhorse!
+ Joebob (Na Brown's Boys) - #11 after the Draft, turned around 1-4 start with 5 straight wins, CChandelier & DLevens & WWalls have fallen by the wayside, but Joebob still has most of his mirrors intact
+ Cals (Fresh Squeezed) - #9 coming out of the Draft, #1 PK in Stover, WR duo of IBruce and AToomer looking strong, RB pair (JAnderson and TBiakabutuka) holding their own.

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Gary Eigen, GM, %$!@#&
*************************************************

In college Gary was regarded as an above average card player (Hearts), but never was considered as a serious contender for the annual Hearts Tournament crown. Gary blames his unspectacular Hearts career on the weaknesses of his partners - CrotchOfSalami ('88) and SpikeTheLoveDart ('89 and '90). In this interview we will attempt to delve into Gary's aversion to accepting responsibility for his past failings. We will try to get Gary to embrace his shortcomings and accept the fact that his franchise has no chance when it comes to taking on the Calses, Joebobs, Brodzes, Stans and Alis of the RFL world.

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: You joined RFL last year ('99) with 12 Angry Men. Your club was very highly regarded in the Preseason Polls, but got off to an 0-9 start. What thoughts were going through your mind during those 9 excruciating weeks?

Gary Eigen: I spent a lot of time preparing for this draft. Obviously preparation is overrated.

RFL: In 1999's Week 10 GOTW, 12 Angry Men finally notched their first "W" - a 28-24 scrub win against the now defunct Brian's nameless bums. What emotions were you feeling as the clock ran out that day?

GE: I recall needing a TD from K Faulk. This seemed unlikely since Faulk was a backup last year. He returned a kickoff 97 yds but was caught at the 3 yd line. He ended up scoring the winning TD late in the game. I was relieved that I would not be eternally associated with the '76 Bucs, the '71(?) Sixers or the '62 Mets.

RFL: You finished your inaugural season at 3-14 - tied with Brian's bums for last place overall. What did you tell your charges as they cleaned out their lockers for the off-season? What institutional changes did you enact between '99 and this season?

GE: Don't expect a Christmas bonus.
The most important change from last year to this year was definitely to reduce the amount of draft preparation.

RFL: You now reside in lovely San Diego. Please briefly compare and contrast San Diego and Boston.

GE: A typical January day: SD - 72 and sunny; Boston - 15 with bitter winds. Need I say more?

RFL: You knew Commish Wang for 5 years in Boston. Please share your knowledge of Commish #2 with the rest of the League. Don't you still owe Commish #2 a Roger Staubach rookie card?

GE: Commish Wang was always known for taking the low road. His favorite pastime was taking as much money as possible from clueless freshmen in weekly poker games. I believe many of these less clever individuals are still paying off debts in the form of cleaning floors and washing Wang's car.
The Roger Staubach rookie card rings a bell, but I think I was promised a Mickey Mantle rookie card in return.

RFL: Your favorite NFL team seems to switch between the Cardinals and the Giants from day to day. Please explain this situation.

GE: I have never liked the Cardinals (other than weeks that they play the Cowboys). The confusion must stem from my rooting interests in the college Arizona Wildcats. Since they are better than the Cards most years, I can understand the mix up. I began rooting for the Giants and Mets when I was a youngster in NY. I began following college sports when my family moved to Tucson when I was 10.

RFL: What was your strategy in the Draft this year? What is your self-assessment after 10 weeks?

GE: My strategy this year was simple. Since I had the first pick, I knew I had to get a quality RB such as James, or maybe Marshall. I could only hope the next 30 picks would be wasted on players like Emmitt and Duce. Then I could pick up a quality RB and QB with the next two picks. Unfortunately, Kitna has been a bust and Westbrook had an early injury. After 10 weeks, I am optimistic for a playoff run. I am still trying to piece together a WR corps and find a #2 RB, but I think the players realize that if they don't perform, they can look elsewhere for work.

RFL: %$!@#& is off to a much better start than 12 Angry Men. Why?

GE: 30 points in a week from Edgerrin never hurts.

RFL: However... injuries seem to hit your team week after week. Why?

GE: We will be looking for a strength and conditioning coach in the offseason to cut down on the injuries. But drafting a player best known for sucker punching (MWestbrook rabbitted SDavis) was a mistake. Also, college rivals Edgerrin and Rhett didn't get along and... let's just say something had to be done. The foot injury to Rhett is what we told the press to avoid a scandal.

RFL: Please give a quick comment on each player as we go through your draft - #1 pick Edgerrin:

GE: As Wang learned in Week 7 - Don't piss him off!

RFL: #2 J Kitna - lost starting job, dropped:

GE: Looks like last year's Jake Plummer.

RFL: #3 M Westbrook - out for the year:

GE: He's still having a better year than that QB who threw him the 70 yd Hail Mary TD pass against Michigan.

RFL: #4 E Rhett - out for the year:

GE: He was looking like a decent #2 RB... but as I mentioned, he pissed off EJ.

RFL: #5 Q Ismail - dinged up:

GE: He can still come around to be a decent WR. He was never expected to carry the load as the #1.

RFL: #6 D LaFleur - dinged, dropped:

GE: TEs are hardly worth worrying about unless they are Walls or Gonzalez. I didn't want to use a high pick on a TE.

RFL: #7 J Morton:

GE: I was hoping he would be a decent #3 WR. He's not good enough for a #2. We need Pickens to come around.

RFL: #8 E Grbac:

GE: Has performed solidly and has taken over permanently at the starting role.

RFL: #9 J Elam - hurt, dropped:

GE: I was very happy with this pick, but with all the other injuries, I could not keep him around for a month or more.

RFL: #10 K Anders - hurt, dropped, brought back:

GE: Late round grasp for anyone who might become a starter. Hopefully he was not insulted that he was dropped.

RFL: #11 S Dawkins - dinged, underperforming, dropped:

GE: With Kitna throwing to him, what can you expect?

RFL: #12 S Christie:

GE: Looks to share the starting job with Elam off the team. Buffalo's offense is good enough to get close to the end zone, but not in.

RFL: Any closing comments?

GE: [originally was "LET'S GO METS" on 10/18 - but that comment was retracted (and no replacement comment offered) at the time of WIR #10 publishing]

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
88 Kurt Warner (Carpet Bombers)
85 Daunte Culpepper (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
82 Peyton Manning (Crazed Beagles on the Run)

RB
151 Marshall Faulk (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
149 Edgerrin James (%$!@#&)
117 Ricky Williams (Minnesota Nice)
114 Stephen Davis (Curly Back Hair)
108 Charlie Garner (Curly Back Hair)
96 Curtis Martin (Minnesota Nice)

WR
107 Terrell Owens (Nasty Pimps)
93 Isaac Bruce (Fresh Squeezed)
90 Marvin Harrison (The Determined Sperm...)
90 Rod Smith (TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm))
84 Randy Moss (The Everyday Tokers)
66 Jimmy Smith (Carpet Bombers)

TE
54 Tony Gonzalez (The Determined Sperm...)
45 Shannon Sharpe (Fire in the Hole)
36 Frank Wycheck (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
36 Freddie Jones (All Jacked Up)

PK
87 Matt Stover (Fresh Squeezed)
74 Martin Gramatica (The Everyday Tokers)
73 Joe Nedney (The Determined Sperm...)

be sure to check:
The RFL Season Point Leaders page
...for an expanded list of scoring leaders.

Ali	Advantage	Brodz
DCulpepper		JGarcia
RSmith		TPrentice
MWilliams		TCanidate
EMoulds		MHarrison
WChrebet		LColes
FWycheck		TGonzalez
ADelGreco		JNedney

These two league-leaders meet under dire circumstances for both squads. Heirs to the Ayatollah is a game up on the rest of the League, but will be without MFaulk for a few weeks. Moe Williams is currently Faulk's inadequate replacement. The Determined Sperm... has lost 2 in a row - falling out of a first place tie with Ali. Brodz' running game, blessed by injuries to Terrell Davis, Errict Rhett and Marshall Faulk, has sputtered of late - not scoring a single point over the last 2 weeks. Perhaps Ali's pain (MFaulk) will be Brodz' gain (JWatson or TCanidate) this week. Also highlighted in this contest is the Garcia-for-Moulds trade between these 2 gentlemen. Garcia should match Ali's Culpepper, and Moulds should cut into Brodz' MHarrison advantage. A 3rd consecutive loss could set Brodz up for a difficult Quarterfinal matchup in the Playoffs - if not send Brodz spiraling all the way out of December Dementia! Ali must fill-in well for Faulk if he doesn't want to lose his hold on the Steamroller.

**** Delivery for Mr. Salman Rushdie!: HTTA by 3 ****

©1999-2000 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: November 7, 2000