All three extremities came back to the pack this weekend. Heirs to the Ayatollah and Fire in the Hole both lost their first contests of the season - while The Everyday Tokers managed their first win of the RFL2k campaign.
JoePa's Black Ops held off a furious Monday Night rally to defeat Ali 39-38. Brodz' The Determined Sperm Which Squirm Like Worms With Firm Stern Perms mercilessly pounded Wang 59-26. And Cals' Fresh Squeezed was unable to hold a 24 point lead going into Monday Night Madness against Richard - losing 26-24. Congrats to Richard on his first ever RFL W!
What does this all mean? ...a very long, protracted BATTLE ROYAL over the next 8 weeks for the 8 playoff berths.

STUFFED CRUST

Highest scoring team: Heirs to the Ayatollah - 52.3 ppg
Lowest scoring team: The Everyday Tokers - 26.0 ppg
Toughest defense: TheDeterminedSperm... - 28.7 ppg
Softest defense: All Jacked Up - 43.5 ppg
League scoring average: 37.1 ppg
Team with most 50-yard bonus pts: All Jacked Up, 63
Team with least bonus pts: The Everyday Tokers, 33
The DiGiorno Division took 3 of 4 contests from the Red Baron Division, while the Tombstone Division took 3 of 4 from the Freschetta Division. The DiGiorno Division is currently the strongest division with 15 wins - and all 4 teams .500 or better. The Red Baron Division is pulling up the rear with 10 victories.
Enough random babbling... on to WIR #6!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
All Jacked Up 72
Minnesota Nice 40

Clark's squad won for the 4th time in the last 5 weeks as Kevin's Minnesota Nice dropped their 2nd in a row. Ricky Williams and Colonel Sanders put up a pair of 15s for Kevin, but MN came up *way* short under the bright lights of GOTW. Eddie romped through Kevin's once stingy D for 18 - while Greasy, Derrick, Donald and Freddie each scored 9 for All Jacked Up. Regarding the BIG TRADE, Round 1 goes to Kevin (on bench points) as Dayne scored 6 for MN's bench, Dudley was a "0" across the board, Jamal Lewis scored 0 for Stan, and Itula Mili scored 0 for Stan's bench.
Scrub Loss for Kevin (1-1)

greasy 9 tiki 6 egeorge 18 dmason 9 dhayes 9 fjones 9 anderson 12
bledsoe 6 cmartin 3 rwilliams 15 sanders 15 jake 0 dudley 0 carney 1
----------------------------------------------------------------------
%$!@#& 31
TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm) 26

%$!@#& evens its record at 3-3 as Johnnie came marching home with 9. Edgerrin was mortal again with 6, and Bjornson was the difference in this game with a surprise TD. Gary led Stan 28-26 heading into Sunday Nitro action - sending Qadry against Stan's newly acquired Jamal Lewis. Jamal was shut down by the same JAX D that had been overrun by Bettis and Edgerrin in the last 2 games. Qadry dropped numerous TD passes, but still managed a trey. The Armchair QB Adventure Playset (tm) was led by Joe "Sucks" Horn's 15. Starting dearly departed Dayne over Jamal (or JAllen for that matter) would have meant victory for Stan.
Scrub Win for Gary (1-0)

brock 0 ejames 6 alexander 0 morton 9 qadry 3 bjornson 6 christie 7
mcnair 3 jlewis 0 jallen 0 rod 3 horn 15 chad 3 akers 2
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Curly Back Hair 41
Nasty Pimps 33

All Shivan needed for victory was a TD and 50 measly yards from Alstott on Monday Night against a Viking D with little respect around the League. Not only did Alstott fail to punch it through on multiple carries inside the 5, but Alstott only came up with 34 yards. We won't even mention Alstott's *terrible* "halfback" pass on 4th and 1. Curly Back Hairs SDavis and CGarner continue to lead the way as RFL2k's #1 RB duo. TOwens returned from his 1-game sanction with 21 for the Sneaky Pimps. Adam won the QB duel as B'lein outpointed Favre 9-7. Totino started at TE for Shivan.

b'lein 9 sdavis 12 garner 12 oronde 0 patten 0 mitchell 0 mare 8
favre 7 alstott 0 priest 0 muhsin 0 towens 21 Totino X husted 5
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Heirs to the Ayatollah 38
Black Ops 39

JoePa's Black Ops headed into Monday Night Madness with a 39-20 lead over Heirs to the Ayatollah, but Ali had Vikings Daunte, RSmith and Moe to carry out his grand comeback scheme. Moe Williams wonderfully carried out his decoy role - as Daunte and Robert piled up points against TB's D. Culpepper ran a TD in, threw for 2, and Robert hit the 100 yard mark by the 4th quarter. All Ali needed was another 36 yds from Daunte, a TD pass or a TD run. Sure enough... Heirs drove to the Ops' goalline late in the 4th. But JoePa's D stopped Daunte and Robert on numerous plays inside the BLACK ZONE - resulting in a huge upset for BO over HTTA! Gannon came up big for JoePa, and Fred is starting to do some things. Starting Jacquez or Rison over Chrebet would have meant a 6-0 start for Ali.
Scrub Loss for Ali (1-1) - a tough way to end a 5-game winning streak.

c'pepper 12 moe 0 rsmith 6 chrebet 0 rice 6 wycheck 3 delgreco 11
gannon 20 centers 0 ftaylor 9 boston 3 kevinj 0 sloan 0 hanson 7
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Carpet Bombers 43
Merry Munching Merkins 25

How the pseudo-mighty has fallen... perennial Steamroller contender Vesh trotted out Little Ceasar at RB and benched Tim Brown's 21 behind former Raider QB Jay Schroeder. Brown's 21 would have won the game for Mmm. And how long will Merry Munching Merkins continue to allow BJ to suck out there at QB?!? Carpet Bombers handled Kurt Warner's bye week with aplomb. Aside from TE Papa Gino, the other 6 starters for Tim all scored. Charlie Batch earned rave reviews as Warner's understudy. Jimmy Smits also got into the passing act - completing his only attempt (for 10 yards).

batch 9 watters 3 tyrone 9 jsmith 6 herman 6 PapaGino X l'well 10
bj'son 0 PizzaPizza X dillon 12 schroeder 0 albert 3 dilger 0 v'jagt 10
----------------------------------------------------------------------
TheDeterminedSpermWhichSquirm... 59
Fire in the Hole 26

Wang's 12-game winning streak finally came to a halt against arch-nemesis Brodz. Mysterious last-minute injuries to Terrell Davis and Errict Rhett cleared the way for 27 points from Sperm fill-ins MAnderson and TPrentice. Another key to The Determined Sperm's triumph was outscoring FITH 18-0 in the passing game. After the game, Wang hinted at a major overhaul in his anemic air attack. Na Brown and Chris T. Jones were seen working out for FITH talent evaluators Sunday evening. Wang also got into a shouting match with D coordinator Foge Fazio in the locker room after the game - as FITH surrendered more than 33 pts for the first time this season.

banks 0 mand'son 3 prentice 24 harrison 15 moulds 3 kinney 0 nedney 14
kerry 0 redmond 3 stewart 12 toomer 0 mathis 0 sharpe 0 cary 11
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazed Beagles on the Run 29
Na Brown's Boys 51

Wally vs. Joebob... Intel wasn't big enough for the both of 'em. Wally is still there; Joebob isn't. But Joebob gained a bit of vengeance on this day as NBB stumbled their way into a "Puerto Rico" against the Beagles. McCaffrey and Bettis combined for 27, but the NBB "faithful" are beginning to question Joebob's insistence on playing Cris "all he does is not score" Carter week after week. The Crazed Beagles got 9 from Antonio, and Sebastian still has yet to kick a FG 40 yards or longer. Pizza the Hut and Domino suited up for Wally at WR and TE as Marcus and Yancey sat out at WR - and Riemersma was too scared to play against Miami.

peyton 6 dunn 3 kfaulk 3 Hut X freeman 9 Domino X jan'ski 8
king 9 green 6 bettis 12 cris 0 ed 15 walls 6 elam 3
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Everyday Tokers 26
Fresh Squeezed 24

Pending a review of the League scrolls, this could very well have been the largest Monday Night comeback in the history of RFL! Fresh Squeezed took a 24-0 lead into Monday Night's action thanks to Stover's 15. Around the middle of the 4th quarter, Cals' lead looked safe. Moss and Keyshawn only had 3 each - to drag down Martin's 11. Richard was still down 24-17 with only 10 minutes left. TET needed a TD AND a 100 yd level from one of the WRs. From the TB 42, HTTA QB Culpepper took the snap, dropped back, and just as he was about to get nailed in the back by a blitzing Buc DB... lobbed up a jump ball that Moss gathered in with one hand for the winning score (for TET and the Vikes)! Chuck E. Cheese took pEnis' spot at FB this week for Richard.
Scrub Win for Richard (1-1)

brunell 0 Cheese X kaufman 0 moss 12 keyshawn 3 bubba 0 gramatica 11
mcnown 0 jamala 0 biaka 6 price 3 crowell 0 pollard 0 stover 15
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Restricted Fun League???

The League Office has received *MOUNDS* of complaint mail recently regarding the lack of bravado among the League's Ownership. Check out the following sample of comments from around the League:

"Anyone else out there?" - Gary, %$!@#&
"Drop the loser [teams who won't trash talk!]..." - Clark, All Jacked Up
"The [list of weenies] should be expanded to include all of the remaining g...m...s on the Heirs' schedule." - Ali, Heirs to the Ayatollah
"Well, [Joebob trash-talking after his 1-4 start] certainly won't happen this week." - JoePa, Black Ops
"Don't you remember Brodz' rule proposal [one lesson on IHS per week from the likes of Joebob, Vesh, Shivan, Wally] intended to benefit less-savvy GMs ...?" - Cals, Fresh Squeezed
"Oops... [those *are* the less-savvy GMs]" - Brodz, The Determined Sperm Which Squirm Like Worms With Firm Stern Perms and Stan, The Armchair Quarterback Adventure Playset (tm)
"Sorry guys but [my team really sucks and my inferior RFL GM skills will never allow me to be able to back up any trash-talk]." - Wally, Snoopy is on Fire

Who's to Blame?

There are those who blame the Commish's Office for the timid nature permeating throughout all of the current RFL Ownership. Commish #2 is personally responsible for bringing in the likes of Tim, JoePa, Gary and Richard. If Richard Aguilera hadn't been present at Draft HQs in August, there are those who would question if he actually exists. Even with the Draft appearance, certain GMs *still* to this day believe that "Richard" is an imaginary friend of the Commish's. The fact that "Richard" and Wang were the only 2 "people" physically present for the Draft Lottery remains unsettling for numerous GMs.
It is true that Commish #2 does not engage in much of the trash-talking. Perhaps this fact can be traced back to the underwhelming performances of the FireBox Extinguishers ('94 and '95), Pistol Whippers ('96), Cream Machine ('97), and Psycho Monkey Stumps ('98). GM Wang spouted endlessly about the talent he had assembled on those squads - only to be thwarted time and again by injuries, scrub losses, and the dibs rule.
In '99, newly crowned Commish Wang decided to take the more humble road - a road lined with much more good karma. Humble Street wasn't looking very good after '99's Week 10 when Wang's FU was 5-5. But diligence (and some diabolical behind-the-scenes machinations) resulted in the ultimate reward for FU - claiming Aglione Bowl X!
In the meantime... the brash-talking faction of RFL (Wally, Shivan, Vesh and Joebob) is a combined 7-17 this year. Perhaps this fact is the *REAL* reason behind the lack of trash-talking.

What can be done the reverse the good karma-bad karma trend?

Joebob has proposed a mandatory weekly quota for trash-talking emails for each GM. Kind of hack-ish, but not bad for a self-proclaimed guru. No... the trash-talking way must be led by the examples set forth by RFL's leaders. The *forces* that are Heirs to the Ayatollah, Carpet Bombers, Fresh Squeezed and The Determined Sperm... must show the way out of our trash-talking Dark Ages. These are the teams who can speak the dirty words - and back it up on the gridiron.

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Stan Wilson, GM, TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm)
*************************************************

Stan Wilson joined RFL in 1991, but due to neglect cannot recall his team's name. The team was led by many players from the 1991 NFL Patriots squad (1-15), including QB Tommy Hodson. That self-managed team inexplicably made the RFL playoffs that season, despite overwhelming odds against them. The popular theory is that its co-GMs vanished mysteriously during a Mighty Mighty BossTones concert, never again to be found that year.

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: What is your connection to Cals/Brodz/Joebob/etc... Warren Towers? Wilding?

Stan Wilson: Warren Towers, via Beer Ambassador and self-proclaimed redneck Sean McCormick. Sean brought "two groups" from floor 12C to one of the heralded Thursday night Simpson's parties the year after I moved out of Warren Towers, and the rest, as they say, is history.
As for Wilding, I was a player-coach on the 1991 Wilding basketball squad. The bright lights of the gym limited my performance, normally reserved for spectacular outdoor action. Still, nobody executed the full court press like Wilding. I was also signed to the practice squad of the Wilding football team, but never played. Hey...I said I don't wanna talk about it. Git that damned mic out of my face!

RFL: Your Foxy Brown club won Aglione Bowl IX. What are some of your memories about that team/season?

SW: Fred Taylor, Randy Moss, Ben Coates. Turning a bunch of beagles into sick puppies.

RFL: Which of your previous teams - a team that might not have made any championship headlines - also sticks out in your mind? Why?

SW: Last year's team, Enid Furth Harmony, was my most challenging. Through adversity and an 0-5 start, the front office toiled over stats, matchups and the waiver wire. As a result, we nearly made the playoffs that season.
Still, we learned a lot about ourselves and each other, and became close. Well, except for Mark Brunell...he had to be sold to a Nike factory in Malaysia. Just call it tough love.

RFL: You are in Austin, Texas now. Why? What are you doing? Any plans to move to RFL's Western HQs in the near future?

SW: Why? Austin just fits. Plus the region is ripe for pro football. Although it is taking Red McCombs longer than expected to bring the Culpepper, Moss and crew to Central Texas (Sorry Cals, Kevin), the region's support for The Armchair Quarterback Adventure Playset (tm) is overwhelming. It's OK, Twin Cities...there's always the XFL.

RFL: I take it you were a Pats fan during your Boston days. Have you converted to the Cowboys yet? They are "America's Team," you know. Where do your NFL allegiances stand these days?

SW: America's Team, God's Team, Betty Ford's Team, whatever you want to call it, The Dallas Cowboys remain, in my mind, little more than nursery school dictator Jerry Jones and his roving band of overgrown crack babies. Sure Irvin and Sanders are gone, but the attitude they left behind will corrode through the organization like a thousand Zeke Mowatts. Which ironically brings me to the Patriots. Yes, they are still my team...forever. Hey, if you can put up with the Red Sox you can put up with the Pats no problem.

RFL: How are your hoops and pigskin skills these days?

SW: The pigskin skills are suprisingly strong. You see, here in Texas, everyone is into football...I mean *everyone*. As such, this football-as-life culture spawns an interesting phenomena here in Austin called "Fag Football". I reluctantly admit to expecting something like powder puff football camp for ten year old girls, but one hit from some liberated former high school football standout changed all that.
As for hoops, I'm now as graceful as Butter Bean in a synchronized swimming competition.

RFL: What do you perceive to be the major differences in the Commish #1 and Commish #2 days? [feel free to speak freely]

SW: Commish #2 didn't take all my student loan money year after year.

RFL: 3 quick bullets... why Gore over Dubya?

SW: Politics eh? OK I'll bite.
+ I read that the hole in the ozone layer recently expanded over a population center (in Chile) for the first time ever.
+ Because Nader doesn't have a viable fiscal policy.
+ Dubya sent me a form letter telling me I couldn't have a family. But what really burns me is that he could have at least sent me a real letter on his "GWB" monogrammed stationery, with a nice cotton-fiber antique white envelope. I know he has them. We shop the same stationer and dry-goods procurer, and word travels fast in these small Texas towns.

RFL: What was your strategy in the Draft this year? What is your self-assessment after 6 weeks?

SW: My draft strategy was to focus on QB and TE, because often these positions can be like bonus points in most weeks. Also, I always pay special attention to late-round picks, which have kept me afloat this year. Self assessment? I took the right risks, but should have read the scouting reports on Rickey Dudley. Also, it is *never* a good idea to draft a heisman winner. The heisman is a jinx. Luckily, my key has been and will continue to be patience. Steve McNair and James Allen will put together big numbers. Chad Lewis will get me at least three every week. I also have four of the top fifteen receivers in the League, and a kicker on a team with red zone problems. Ags bowl here we come!

RFL: How about a little word association? Heirs to the Ayatollah...
SW: Trade?

RFL: Brodz...
SW: Heart

RFL: Shivan...
SW: Who?

RFL: Snehal...
SW: Loyalty

RFL: Joebob...
SW: Game

RFL: Vesh...
SW: Cash

RFL: Cals...
SW: Soul

RFL: Any closing comments?

SW: Good Mommies and Daddies don't name their kids "Na".

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
72 Kurt Warner (Carpet Bombers)
54 Daunte Culpepper (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
51 Peyton Manning (Crazed Beagles on the Run)

RB
87 Marshall Faulk (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
68 Edgerrin James (%$!@#&)
66 Charlie Garner (Curly Back Hair)
63 Stephen Davis (Curly Back Hair)
54 Eddie George (All Jacked Up)
48 Curtis Martin (Minnesota Nice)
48 Jerome Bettis (Na Brown's Boys)

WR
66 Jimmy Smith (Carpet Bombers)
62 Terrell Owens (Nasty Pimps)
57 Isaac Bruce (Fresh Squeezed)
51 Marvin Harrison (The Determined Sperm...)
51 Randy Moss (The Everyday Tokers)
48 Rod Smith (TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm))

TE
24 Frank Wycheck (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
21 Wesley Walls (Na Brown's Boys)
21 Shannon Sharpe (Fire in the Hole)

PK
63 Matt Stover (Fresh Squeezed)
61 Jeff Wilkins (Fire in the Hole)
49 Ryan Longwell (Carpet Bombers)

be sure to check:
The RFL Season Point Leaders page
...for an expanded list of scoring leaders.

Ali	Advantage	Cals
DCulpepper		JBlake
MFaulk		JAnderson
RSmith		TBiakabutuka
JRice		IBruce
WChrebet		PPrice
FWycheck		JHarris
ADelGreco		MStover

This matchup lost 99% of its luster when both teams were upset last week. However... HTTA and FS remain the top 2 scoring teams (FS is tied with Carpet Bombers at #2), and both are clearly Steamroller frontrunners.
The passing games in this contest look fairly even. The running ability of Daunte (and his set of Viking WRs) gives Ali a slight edge here. The running, pass catching and scoring abilities of MFaulk give HTTA a huge advantage at RB. The question is... who does Kurt Warner want to get the Ram TDs this week? Cals has the potential firepower to match Ali's high-flying Heirs. These teams would be 3-3 against each other through the first 6 weeks. But how will Cals' troops bounce back from last week's excruciating loss to the Tokers? That's the question.

**** HTTA is the answer: Heirs by 6 ****

©1999-2000 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: October 10, 2000