There are four 2-0 teams - one in each division. Ali's Heirs to the Ayatollah have come out strong - as have Tim's Carpet Bombers. Shiv's Nasty Pimps are clearly the surprise 2-0 team - while Wang's Fire in the Hole is 2-0 with 2 SCRUB WINS! :-(
On the flip side, there are 4 0-2 teams: Adam's Curly Back Hair, Richard's The Everyday Tokers, Joebob's Na Brown's Boys and Vesh's Merry Munching Merkins. Although it is no surprise that the two newbies are paying their dues, the winless starts of the self-proclaimed "guru" and Vesh's perennial Steamroller (not Aglione Bowl) contenders come as a bit of a surprise.

SOME NUMBERS

Highest scoring team: Heirs to the Ayatollah - 61.5 ppg
Lowest scoring team: Na Brown's Boys - 24.5 ppg
Toughest defense: Nasty Pimps - 23.0 ppg
Softest defense: Curly Back Hair - 61.5 ppg
The Road Rules Division and the Survivor Division split their 4 games this week. The Big Brother Division took 3 of 4 matchups against the Real World Division.
Enough random babbling... on to WIR #2!

****************************
**** GAME OF THE WEEK ****
****************************
%$!@#& 37
Carpet Bombers 67

After Gary's whining about last week's GOTW matchup, the RFL Gods decided to smite %$!@#& with a 30-point munching at the hands of Tim's Carpet Bombers - and by adding some injuries (Qadry, Westbrook and Elam) to insult. Tim actually sat out Watters behind Lamar Smith's 0 against the rejuvenated Viking D. Watters' 18 would have meant 85 (an RFL record?) for Carpet Bombers this week! Edgerrin did his normal thang, and Elam did well before dropping his guard on a kickoff return. The rest of %$!@#& clearly wilted under the pressure of the GOTW spotlight. Jimmy Smits put up a double-trey - and Tyrone was strong - for Tim.

elvis 3 ejames 18 rhett 3 westbrook 3 qadry 0 lafleur 0 elam 10
warner 9 wheatley 15 lsmith 0 jsmith 33 rice 0 coates 2 opie 8
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Curly Back Hair 25
TheDeterminedSperm... 72

In the season's first matchup of RFL newbie vs. Sponsor, Brodz absolutely whacked his protege's tushy. Mike Anderson (who?!?) led The Determined Sperm Which Squirm Like Worms With Firm Stern Perms' charge with 20. I guess Terrell Davis and O Gary are just products of the Bronco running game system. Tony Banks mistook himself for Kurt Warner - and Hollis did 18 points worth of damage. Beuerlein showed well for Adam's Curly Back Hair. The rest of Adam's squad resembled mole hairs.

b'lein 15 sdavis 3 garner 3 rocket 3 jefferson 0 becht 0 mare 1
banks 16 asmith 0 mand'son 20 harrison 12 moulds 6 gonzalez 0 hollis 18
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Heirs to the Ayatollah 65
Crazed Beagles on the Run 62

Oh, the madness!!! Chrebet actually suits up with half his left leg amputated - depriving Ali of Dyson's 12 "in the hand." KFaulk then goes out and piles up 100+ yards for a 12-pt lead as Chrebet disappears for a large portion of the game. Then from the depths of the Meadowlands re-emerged the miraculous comeback kid - Wayne Chrebet! 2 TDs (why is Antonio Langham still in the NFL?!?!?!?) and 50+ yards later... sweet victory was rejoiced all through Persia! Manning, Freeman and Reimersma gave Wally's curs a three-of-a-kind (15s), but Chrebet flushed Wally's hand down the commode.
Scrub loss for Wally (1-1 in scrub games).

c'pepper 9 mfaulk 15 rsmith 3 chrebet 15 green 12 wycheck 6 adgreco 5
manning 15 dunn 3 kfaulk 6 marcus 0 freeman 15 riem'ma 15 j'kowski 8
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All Jacked Up 46
The Everyday Tokers 44

The other half of Monday Night's Mayhem... Richard's The Everyday Tokers squad was seemingly close to gaining their 1st ever RFL victory. vINTy had 1 TD pass early in the game, but All Jacked Up was still 4 points behind as Testaverde transformed back into his Buccaneer form for all of the 2nd and 3rd quarters. But alas, that's why they play the 4th quarter! vINTy tossed two balls at Antonio Langham which were "intercepted" by Chrebet - leading Clark's AJU club to a most satisfying come-from-behind victory!

vINTy 9 egeorge 3 tiki 12 warrick 3 dhayes 12 fjones 0 anderson 7
brunell 15 enis 0 kaufman 3 moss 9 keyshawn 6 bubba 0 gramatica 11
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Black Ops 48
Fresh Squeezed 28

Despite sending 2 replacement operatives on the mission at RB, JoePa's crew was successful in inflicting heavy damage at the local Orange Julius. Gannon and Hanson took out the peelers and juicers. Centers stole the straws and napkins. Fellow UMich alum "Touchdown" Timmy B led the way for Cals' club. McNown and Jamal Anderson were among the casualties.

gannon 18 centers 3 canidate 0 holt 6 boston 6 sloan 0 hanson 15
mcnown 0 jamala 0 biaka 9 isaac 3 crowell 3 pollard 6 stover 7
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Nasty Pimps 46
Merry Munching Merkins 22

Shiv continues to prove his detractors wrong. Out of the 5 preseason polls, 3 had Nasty Pimps in last place. Clark's poll had Shiv at #13, and Cals' poll had Shiv at #10. Alstott and Priest continue to be productive, but look for this pair to drag the team down in the long run. Favre held his arm together for another week - albeit in another Packer loss. Without the 50-yard rule, Vesh would have come up with 10 points this week. Will the real Slim Staley please stand up?!?

favre 7 alstott 9 priest 3 muhsin 12 towens 5 roland 6 conway 4
bj'son 3 duce 3 dillon 3 tibrown 3 schroeder 0 dilger 3 v'jagt 7
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TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm) 30
Fire in the Hole 46

Since dropping to 5-5 in Week 10 of 1999, Wang has won 9 straight contests - to win Aglione Bowl X and to start RFL2k 2-0. Wang *clearly* sold his soul to the RFL Gods. How many wins was his soul worth?!? It *can't* be much more than 9! Rod Smith went long and hard to put up 18 for Stan. No points in 2 weeks for Stan's 1st round pick (Air McNair) has the League Office investigating Stan's anti-Midas touch on 1st round pick QBs. What the @#$% did Stan do to Brunell last year?!? Rob, Amani and Shannon gave FITH trips (9s) and Wilkins' 13 were Dominique-like.
Scrub win for Wang (2-0 in scrub decisions) as scrubbiness went to bench points between Wang (17), Clark (21) and Shiv (30).

mcnair 0 dayne 3 cloud 0 rod 18 tglenn 3 dudley 0 akers 6
rj'son 9 emmitt 3 stewart 3 toomer 9 mathis 0 sharpe 9 wilkins 13
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Minnesota Nice 51
Na Brown's Boys 31

Joebob's RB corps continues to look like a bunch of corpses. In 2 games, Na Brown's Boys have gotten a total of 0 pts from Bettis, Basil Mitchell, Chris Howard and JJ Johnson. The return of Dorsey might give Joebob half a RB to work with - at least until GB is eliminated from the playoff hunt and shut Favre AND Levens down for the year. The Alexander twins scored 15 for Kevin. Ricky Williams and Colonel Sanders also scored big for Minnesota Nice

b'soe 3 cmartin 0 rw''ms 9 alex'der 9 sanders 15 alex'der 6 carney 9
chandler 3 choward 0 jjj 0 carter 9 ed 0 walls 9 heppner 10
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Depth Chart Controversy:

Turn in depth charts! Injuries *do* happen during pre-game warmups. If you are willing to subject your order of substitutes to the "whim" of the Commish, feel free to live on the edge by merely stating your starters. If you are less trusting of the Commish (and you very well should be), spell out your depth chart in black and white EVERY DAMN WEEK. And while you're at it... send your weekly depth chart to my Sony address, to my hotmail address, AND TO YOUR OPPONENT!

Depth Chart Order after Transactions:

Let's say you have 4 RBs in your depth chart as follows:
RB A, RB B, RB C and RB D

Let's say you then drop RB D for RB E. Your RB order would then clearly be:
RB A, RB B, RB C and RB E

Now let's say that RB B goes down for the season. If you replace RB B with RB F (without telling me a specific new depth chart order for your RBs), your RB order would then be presented as:
RB A, RB C, RB E and RB F

Are you following this?!?

Now... let's say that you have 4 RBs and 3 WRs as follows:
RB A, RB B, RB C, RB D, WR M, WR N, WR O

If you were to replace RB B with WR P (without telling me a specific new depth chart order for your RBs and WRs), your depth chart would then look like:
RB A, RB C, RB D, WR M, WR N, WR O, WR P

Crystal clear?

*************************************************
RFL GM Profiles: Shivan Desai, GM, Nasty Pimps
*************************************************

Shivan Desai... the next Ghandi - one of the most greatly respected men of all time? Or the next Henry VIII - a self indulgent fool of a leader? Few GMs have splashed into the RFL scene with as much controversy. From his 7PM curfews, to his abominable English, Shivan brought a fresh injection of youth into the League as the sidekick of legendary former GM Snehal Desai. As one can imagine, this youth often clashed with the RFL elders. We've seen flahes of brilliance intertwined with such bombastic moves that no one really knows where this young man stands. Now a freshman at famed Boston University, where organizations such as RFL, IFEJ and the Wilding were founded, RFL finally had a chance to ask the question - Will the real Shiv Desai....PLEASE STAND UP?!? [Comment from Commish: I can't believe that Joebob and I came up with Eminem references separately in parallel! Scary!]

RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: Shiv, it's safe to say that you virtually grew up in the RFL spotlight. You broke into the League as the young protege of Snehal Desai while you were barely out of diapers. And here you are now, a freshman at hallowed Boston University. You are viewed by many to be a pompous, immature, talentless GM that simply lived off the football acumen of your cousin Snehal. What are your thoughts when you read such opinions?

Shivan Desai: 3 long years ago, I joined the RFL for one reason: to win! The opinions of the other narrow minded GMs of this league have no affect on me or my team. Actions speak louder than words my friend, as Vesh's Raunchy Romanians found out this weekend. As for "living off the football acumen of Snehal," let's just say that without him, I am 2-0 so far. He was great in his day, but the next generation of the RFL is here now, so this Desai is better than the old one.

RFL: Since you've joined RFL, there has been a significant decrease in the # of Indian members. We are done to 2, Guru Joe and yourself. With the Guru tied up in high level executive battles, many from the Indian community are placing their faith in you to restore the glory days of IFEJ of the early 90's. Using this interview as your platform - Are you comfortable in the role of IFEJ savior? And WHY should the Indian community follow you??

SD: I am undoubtedly comfortable with the role. I feel honored to have all the other Indian GMs (present and future) look up to me and my accomplishments here in the RFL. IFEJ was formed to give us the equal right that we need, and although we are greatly outnumbered now, I am sure my leadership will draw more Indians into the League.

RFL: In a recent Hindu Bash/Orgy in Atlanta, reports were surfacing about an "Out of Control" Shivan Desai dancing to the Village People's YMCA. First, are the rumors true? Secondly, what kind of example are you setting as not only an up & coming RFL GM but also as a leader of ethnic group?

SD: Yes, the rumors are true. At my dear cousin Snehal's wedding, I put on a spectacular show, dancing to one of my all time favorites - YMCA. For those of you who weren't there, I was the construction worker. The example I am trying to set is to show how a hard working RFL GM can still have a little fun.

RFL: Snehal is long gone from RFL. Let's lay it on the line. The past 4 years - who's really been running the teams?

SD: Let's just say that Snehal has been the "silent partner" for Team Desai. I've been doing the work, he's been providing the funds.

RFL: Head to Head - You and Snehal draft seperate teams and play each other for 17 weeks. Who wins the regular season and by how many games?

SD: I do by 17 games... simple.

RFL: Well, between us, Snehal never really was much of a force in RFL. Ex-Players from Team Desai have talked repeatedly about the legendary "basement" found in your own house. Apparently you invite your team there after victories. The rumors are similar to some of the hotel escapades by Led Zeppelin in their own heyday. Can you share some of the stories from "down under"?

SD: The basement in my house contains a stock full bar with much liquor to provide for family and friends. Snehal is so familiar with it because of his tendency to get bombed during family gatherings. It was used to celebrate our second best record in the league during my rookie year, then again for Snehal's farewell from Team Desai. Let's just say now that the Nasty Pimps know how to party after a victory.

RFL: Being without Snehal, how do you feel about this season. Is RFL still exciting too you? Do you feel lost without "Big Brother"?

SD: The RFL is definitely still exciting to me... it's in my blood. I do miss Snehal being in the League because he was a great GM, but I believe he has prepared me enough to carry a team on my back all on my own.

RFL: Back to BU. Has being an RFL GM made it quite easy to get the heavenly BU ladies?? Has throwing around the names of BU legends such as Joe Pynadath, Pat Callery, Snehal Desai, Dave Brodkin, Dave Wang, put you into the inner circle??

SD: I have had no problem getting the ladies to notice me here in Boston. And being an RFL GM has definitely made them come after me even more. But for some reason, when I mention the names of these BU alumni GMs, they look at me with disgust. Apparently, these fine ladies say that these dirty old men wearing their RFL t-shirts come to the BU beach and try hitting on them while they are laying out in the sun. I have learned not to mention such BU legends anymore.

RFL Closing Statement: Well obviously you are not pronouncing our names correctly. I think if you ever venture up to Warren Towers, 12C, you'll see plenty of notches on those bedposts. Shivan, it has been a pleasure interviewing you. You are by far one of the more colorful GMs in our League. Best of luck in your 2000 campaign.

This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR.
********************************************************
SEASON POINTS LEADERS
*********************
QB
27 Daunte Culpepper (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
27 Kurt Warner (Carpet Bombers)
21 Mark Brunell (Richard's Red Wood)
21 Rich Gannon (Black Ops)

RB
39 Edgerrin James (%$!@#&)
36 Marshall Faulk (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
24 Duce Staley (Merry Munching Merkins)
24 Mike Alstott (Nasty Pimps)
20 Mike Anderson (The Determined Sperm Which Squirm...)
18 Fred Beasley (The Determined Sperm Which Squirm...)
18 Curtis Martin (Minnesota Nice)
18 Stephen Davis (Curly Back Hair)
18 Tyrone Wheatley (Carpet Bombers)

WR
42 Jimmy Smith (Carpet Bombers)
27 Rod Smith (TheArmchairQBAdventurePlayset(tm))
18 Marvin Harrison (The Determined Sperm Which Squirm...)
18 Antonio Freeman (Crazed Beagles on the Run)
15 Jacquez Green (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
15 Donald Hayes (All Jacked Up)
15 Wayne Chrebet (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
15 Frank Sanders (Minnesota Nice)

TE
15 Wesley Walls (Na Brown's Boys)
15 Jay Riemersma (Crazed Beagles on the Run)
9 Frank Wycheck (Heirs to the Ayatollah)
9 Shannon Sharpe (Fire in the Hole)

PK
27 Mike Hollis (The Determined Sperm Which Squirm...)
22 Jason Elam (%$!@#&)
21 Jason Hanson (Black Ops)

Ali	Advantage	Shivan
DCulpepper		BFavre
MFaulk		MAlstott
RSmith		PHolmes
WChrebet		MMuhammad
JGreen		TOwens
OJSantiago		RWilliams
ADelGreco		BConway

Only one team is assured of getting off to a 3-0 start in RFL2k - the winner of this game. The other two 2-0 teams (Carpet Bombers and Fire in the Hole) are both underdogs this week. Ali's Heirs, #1 in the Combined Preseason Poll, have gotten off to their expected strong start. Shiv's Nasty Pimps, dead last in the Combined Preseason Poll, are the surprise team of the season so far.
And wouldn't you know it... Nasty Pimps looks like a winner in this contest! Muhsin, TOwens and Roland should give Shiv about a 9 point advantage through the air. Ali's RB pair of MFaulk and Robert Smith *should* come close to erasing the 9-point deficit.
Look for Ali's team to not show Nasty Pimps the proper amount of respect and suffer a bit of a letdown across the board.

**** Shiv's skinny: Nasty Pimps by 3 ****

©1999-2000 RFL Inc.
All rights reserved.

Revised: September 12, 2000