Redskin Flapping Lips - Week 17 - December 30, 2003 **** RFL WEEK IN REVIEW **** OH, THE HUMILITY! The pain! My God, the pain! :-( After experiencing the euphoria of winning Ags Bowl 10 (following the 1999 regular season) and consecutive ESPN fantasy baseball world series titles (2001 and 2002), Commish Wang finally got a taste of bitter, runner-up defeat - at the hands of Cals in Ags Bowl 14. Wang has always been slow to send any credit in Joebob's direction, but after experiencing the pain of losing an Aglione Bowl... Wang wonders how Joebob could stand the pain of losing back-to-back Ags Bowls (11 and 12). Joebob must be a lot more mentally tough than Wang had previously given him credit. Then again... Joebob didn't have to write a WIR after his Ags Bowl defeats. And Joebob probably didn't make a crucial starting lineup error that directly led to either defeat. RFL BUCKS DISTRIBUTION Regular Season: 1st: 200 - Zach + 2nd: 125 - Shiv 3rd: 75 - Cals + 4th: 50 - Wang + 5th: 30 - Clark + 6th: 20 - Vesh Postseason: 1st: 125 - Cals (200 total) 2nd: 75 - Wang (125 total) 3rd: 50 - Zach (250 total) 4th: 25 - Brodz 5th: 25 - Clark (55 total) RIDERS OF THE PINE These guys' asses languished on their respective teams' pines last weekend: 13 J Harrington (Big Brown Boys) 22 L Suggs (The Hustlers) 11 TJ Duckett (Spunk Monkeys) and R Anderson (The Belching Brides) 15 C Chambers (BoyzInTheChineseHood) 11 K Robinson (Manchester United) 7 E Kinney (Spunk Monkeys) 15 G Anderson (Wet Noodles) 94 points... 16-0 this week, 258-11-3 through 17 weeks. SAY IT AIN'T SO, JOE (THEESMAN) Highest scoring team: Spunk Monkeys - 51.4 ppg Lowest scoring team: Wet Noodles - 37.2 ppg Toughest defense: Spunk Monkeys - 40.1 ppg Softest defense: The Axis of Evil - 48.7 ppg League scoring average: 44.5 ppg (down from 45.0 thru last week; last year 47.6) Now on to WIR #17! -------------------------------------------- STANDINGS Steve Spurrier Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Chocolate Love 8 8 1 5 802 818 T1 Angry Starfish 8 8 1 5 750 772 T1 The Axis of Evil 8 8 1 5 731 828 L2 The Hustlers 5 11 1 8 778 800 L2 Joe Gibbs Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Spunk Monkeys 13 3 1 - 873 681 W1 Big Brown Boys 10 6 1 3 748 700 L1 BoyzInTheChineseHood 10 7 0 3.5 843 694 L1 West Coast Offense 7 9 1 6 750 742 W1 Norv Turner Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Manchester United 10 7 0 3.5 748 731 W2 Dirty Sanchez 9 8 0 4.5 786 788 W1 Wet Noodles 6 10 1 7 633 748 L1 The Belching Brides 4 11 2 8.5 654 783 L4 Richie Petitbon Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Love Touch 11 5 1 2 838 739 W4 samurai penguins 8 9 0 5.5 710 732 W2 Spankin It... 6 9 2 6.5 698 748 W1 Midget Tossers 6 10 1 7 757 795 L3 -------------------------------------------- WEEK 17 IN REVIEW ***************** ************************** **** AGLIONE BOWL XIV **** ************************** #3 Love Touch 34 (11-5-1) #4 Boyz In Th Chin Hood 34 (10-7) pregame spread: LT by 8 previous encounter: BITCH won 42-33 in Week 12 It's still not entirely clear to anyone in RFL HQs which tiebreaker yahoo used to award the title to Cals, but according to yahoo's tiebreakers... Cals would have won Ags Bowl XIV either way. yahoo's 1st tiebreaker is "Most touchdowns scored by entire starting roster." The question here is: are TD *passes* included? MFaulk and PPrice scored TDs for Wang. RMoss and DGraham scored TDs for Cals. Culpepper tossed one for Cals. Wang did not have a TD pass. So if Culpepper's pass counts as a "TD scored", Cals won on the 1st tiebreaker. yahoo's 2nd tiebreaker is "Most fantasy points by starting quarterback(s)." Culpepper did indeed win this matchup for Cals. So if tiebreaker #1 was considered a tie, Cals won on tiebreaker #2. The game should not have come down to tiebreakers for Wang. Wang made 2 critical errors in his starting lineup. Reversing either decision would have enabled Wang to win comfortably. The less obvious mistake was starting Tim Sofa over A Brooks at QB. Once J Cahney FSU'ed that Week 16 PAT against JAX, A Brooks' Ain'ts had nothing to play for against a tough DAL D in Week 17. Sofa's Brownies had LOTS to play for in Week 17. CLE was given the chance to knock their in-state rival Bungles out of playoff contention. And eliminate Cincy they did. But instead of ripping the weak CIN passing D to shreds, CLE decided to let rookie L Suggs run all over the CIN rushing D. The more glaring mistake Wang made was starting R Wayne over C Chambers. Wang needed to pick 2 starters from Wayne, Chambers and P Price. Wang was supremely confident that Vick would give Price a Week 17 TD, and indeed Price came through for Wang. So Wang had to decide between Wayne and Chambers. IND was playing some team with a weak passing D, and IND needed a win to claim the division over TEN. MIA was playing out the string against the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS. Wang chose incorrectly. IND chose to let Edgerrin run in the TDs, and Peyton's only TD was tossed to Stokley or Walters or some other scrub. But even after these 2 horrific outcomes, Wang still entered the final NFL game of the season tied with Cals - with Todd Heap (facing PIT) being the lone player yet to play. 17 yards, a TD, even a 2-pt conversion... any point from Heap would have been enough to hand Wang his 2nd Ags Bowl title. But Bumbling Billick went with woeful Wright at QB - instead of rookie sensation K Boller. And Wright only looked Heap's way 3 times all game: an underthrown ball in the endzone that got picked, another wildly thrown ball that no one had a shot at catching, and a 1-yd completion. BoyzInTheChineseHood failed to win the game on the field. yahoo e-mailed the e-trophy to Cals and his Love Touch. The disturbing part of it all... Cals' TOTAL silence in the weeks leading up to the Ags Bowl and the weeks following. Why did Cals leave the WA PK in his starting lineup? WA was destined to get shutdown by PHI. And when Wang called Cals towards the end of the Sunday Nitro BAL-PIT game to deliver BITCH's concession speech, Cals was apparently at work! What up?!? The kicker... under RFL's pre-yahoo rules, Wang would've won this Ags Bowl thanks to a 21-3 bench points advantage. Wang curses Sony for shipping him out to England last season - thereby forcing Wang to allow Clark to sign the League up with yahoo. And for you conspiracy theorists out there, Cals' sister Anne is a string-puller at yahoo! c'pep 8 atrain 3 kevan 4 rmoss 9 clee 3 graham 6 hall 1 sofa 2 mfaulk 10 foster 3 price 10 rwayne 1 heap 0 wilkins 8 -------------------------------------------- Equal Bowl (3rd Place): The Axis of Evil 46 (8-8-1) Spunk Monkeys 47 (13-3-1) pregame spread: TAoE by 1 This game had players actually producing at Ags Bowl levels. Brodz was able to get 7 starters into the game - each of whom was fighting for an NFL playoff spot (though BAL clinched their spot a few hours before Stover actually hit the field). Masterful GMing? Or luck? We think our opinion of Brodz' GMing skillz is well-documented. But The Axis of Evil came up 1 Manning-Wayne TD pass short of 3rd place - as Priest and DMason monkeyed-up for Zach and led Spunk Monkeys to a 1-pt win. Doug Williams flew in from Grambling to QB Zach's team to the victory. peyton 7 shauna 12 rudi 16 engram 1 javon 2 ksasser 1 stover 7 dougw X priest 14 mbennett 3 dmason 17 djax 3 becht 7 edinger 3 -------------------------------------------- Apple Bowl (5th Place): Manchester United 33 (10-7) Big Brown Boys 23 (10-6-1) pregame spread: MU by 2 This game actually had 2 teams performing at levels BELOW the 2 Ags Bowl teams - as the final score more closely resembled a soccer match than an RFL contest. Edgerrin came strong for Clark - bending it like Beckham and scoring goals from all over. Manchester United back Westbrook and strikers Hines and Drew were held to nil points each. Sub Koren was none too please with Clark's decision to bench him. The only Big Brown Boy footballer held scoreless was G-Rex, but Shiv had no answer for Edgerrin. Fred T (9th among RBs) and S Smiff (tied for 16th) had very solid seasons for Shiv. bulge 6 edge 18 w'brook 0 hiney 0 drewb 0 boo 2 dbrien 7 rex 0 fredt 7 h'brick 1 mccar'ns 1 ssmith 6 alge 1 akers 7 -------------------------------------------- Siesta Bowl (7th Place): Dirty Sanchez 51 (9-8) Midget Tossers 39 (6-10-1) pregame spread: DS by 5 After winning 3 games to claim last season's Scrub Bowl in his rookie season, Drew dropped all 3 postseason games this year. Moles B Johnson and E Moulds were traded for each other to sabotage each other's team in the Ags Bowl, but ended up doing their dirty work in this year's Siesta Bowl. BJ was the better mole, but Vesh got 35 RB points from Ahman and Curtis. Midget Tossers actually won the WR battle in this game, but Dirty Sanchez won the war. Ahman remarkably finished the season within 27 of Priest. Moulds amazingly finished tied for 29th among WRs - even 3 pts behind T Glenn! bj 1 ahman 24 martian 11 n'cutt 1 ek'son 7 sharpe 0 v'teri 7 kitna 3 thenry 3 jamall 12 moulds 3 muhsin 10 imili 2 josh 6 -------------------------------------------- Scrub Bowl 14 (9th Place): Angry Starfish 44 (8-8-1) Chocolate Love 44 (8-8-1) pregame spread: AS by 6 We don't like yahoo's playoff game tiebreaker system, so we will further expose an inadequacy of yahoo by allowing this game to finish as THE 7TH TIE OF THE SEASON (8 if you include the Ags Bowl)! LaDainian very nearly justified his 2nd spot draft position - as the SuperCharger finished 3rd among all RFL point-scorers (10 pts behind Ahman). R Williams certainly fell well short of being the 1st pick of the Draft. Ricky closed the season with 153 points (with all 16 starts). Ricky came in 115 pts behind Priest, 8th among RBs, and 17th overall (behind 5 QBs, 2 WRs and 2 PKs - as well). The Angry Starfish WRs turned on Mike again. Chocolate Love WR Anquan did Joebob proud by finishing 14th among WRs. favre 5 LT 27 atwain 4 plaxico 0 andrej 3 gates 2 elam 3 green 6 rickyw 14 booker 5 amani 8 anquan 1 declark 2 v'jagt 8 -------------------------------------------- Thorn Bowl (11th Place): The Hustlers 26 (5-11-1) Spankin It... 38 (6-9-2) pregame spread: TH by 3 Tarang had one last chance to disprove the Ladell Betts-as-catalyst theorem, but chose instead to go with Onterrio and Quentin in the backfield. And as would be expected, The Hustlers stumbled to the finish line of their inaugural season with yet another Betts-less stinker. Even with J Riggins and A Monk suiting up for Richard, Spankin It... was able to not only cover the spread - but also win the game outright by a box of Krispy Kremes. garcia 10 osmiff 2 qgriff 5 jsmiff 1 keenan 0 mricks 1 cahney 7 mcnabb 19 riggins X joeyg 4 amonk X coles 5 tonyg 3 mort 7 -------------------------------------------- Polyester Bowl (13th place): samurai penguins 33 (8-9) Wet Noodles 28 (6-10-1) pregame spread: sp by 7 Wet Noodles fell short of their quota of 40 pts due to Rod S being rested in the DEN game. When your team's leading scorer is named Quincy, you know you're in bad shape. Tarang deserves credit for keeping Ali's team out of the Prune Bowl nonetheless. Joepa got the dubya in the Polyester Bowl thanks to a bunch from the Pats' Brady. THolt faded a bit down the stretch - hitting double digits only twice in the last 6 games and letting R Moss surge past him to win the WR crown. The final tally for the samurai penguins' 1st round pick... 8 starts, 21 pts, 37th among RBs - Corey Dillon. brady 17 tyrone 2 dillon 2 tholt 3 smoss 3 mcmike 2 jreed 4 qdog 9 egeorge 7 conway 2 marvinh 2 rods 0 pollard 1 l'well 7 -------------------------------------------- Prune Bowl (15th place): West Coast Offense 39 (7-9-1) The Belching Brides 17 (4-11-2) pregame spread: WCO by 4 Stan had the GNIK SADIM touch this season - as every player he touched turned to crap. The Belching Brides finished the season winless over the last 9 weeks (0-8-1). Chad Johnson was the sole bright spot for Stan - finishing 3rd among RFL WRs. Gary got 19 from Domanick, and those 19 pts were enough to avoid last place. D Davis actually outscored Anquan 101 to 93 for their respective rookie seasons. West Coast Offense went with the Fun Bunch at WR#2 in this game. flute 0 deuce 2 ddavis 19 jmorton 4 fbunch X fjones 1 kasay 13 wright 3 tiki 2 cgarner 0 deionb 3 chadj 1 booba 6 graham 2 -------------------------------------------- WANG'S WEEKLY WARBLE ====== ====== ====== OLD DOG LEARNED NEW TRICK WELL In the 2k2 season, all of us GMs observed then-rookie-GM Zach win an Ags Bowl while riding 3 starters (C Garner, J Rice, S Janikowski) from one NFL team. And just like how NFL teams instantly copy each other's Super Bowl blueprints, a couple of RFL GMs attempted to cash in on Zach's roadmap to riches in year 2k3. Gary took the more literal route - going with 3 Raiders (R Gannon, D Jolley, Janikowski) again. Who knew that the Raiders would stink it up so horrifically this season?!? The stench was so bad that Denny Green turned down the Raiders this month in order to accept the head coaching job with the CARDINALS! Cals took the correct route - not simply taking 3 starters from any team... but riding 2 stars from his favorite team. After 13 years of going out of his way NOT to have Vikings on his roster, Cals used his 1st 2 picks of the draft on the prolific passing partnership of Culpepper-Moss. Cals went on to add rookie Vike RB Onterrio Smith in the 6th round, but didn't have the patience to develop that wonderful talent. So how will things develop in the 2k4 season?!? Will Wang (A Bryant, J Witten, B Cundiff) and Richard (Q Carter, T Hambrick, T Glenn) go heavy on the Cowboys? Will Zach (T Wheatley, Ti Brown, Teyo) and Clark (E Manning, C Garner, J Porter) attempt to recapture Raider glory? Will Brodz, Stan, Vesh and Joepa fight amongst themselves for T Brady, A Twain, K Faulk, L Centers, Tr Brown, D Branch, D Givens, D Ward, C Fauria, D Graham and A Vinatieri? Will former roomies Mike and Drew face-off with LaDainian, L Fitzgerald and A Gates going against J Garcia, K Barlow and Jed Weaver? Will Shiv (R Dayne, I Hilliard, M Bavaro) take on Gary (Kerry, Tiki, Amani) with 6 Gints in the boxscore? Will 2nd-year GM Tarang seek to get his franchise headed in the right direction with Iggles McNabb, FMitchell and TPinky? ************************************************* RFL GM Profiles: ************************************************* RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: Sorry, really busy with *real* work this week. This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR. ******************************************************** SEASON POINTS LEADERS ********************* QB 180 D Culpepper (Love Touch) 167 P Manning (The Axis of Evil) 163 S McNair (Spunk Monkeys) RB 268 P Holmes (Spunk Monkeys) 241 A Green (Dirty Sanchez) 231 L Tomlinson (Angry Starfish) 204 J Lewis (Midget Tossers) 188 C Portis (The Hustlers) 183 S Alexander (The Axis of Evil) WR 191 R Moss (Love Touch) 164 T Holt (samurai penguins) 130 C Johnson (The Belching Brides) 128 M Harrison (Wet Noodles) 120 H Ward (Manchester United) 116 K McCardell (The Hustlers) TE 98 T Gonzalez (Spankin It...) 86 S Sharpe (Dirty Sanchez) 59 T Heap (BoyzInTheChineseHood) PK 163 J Wilkins (Boyz In The Chin Hood) 157 M Vanderjagt (Chocolate Love) 114 D Akers (Big Brown Boys) -------------------------------------------- RFL ALL*STARS ************* QB 19 D McNabb (Spankin It...) RB 27 L Tomlinson (Angry Starfish) 24 A Green (Dirty Sanchez) WR 17 D Mason (Spunk Monkeys) 10 P Price (BITCH) and M Muhammad (Midget Tossers) TE 7 A Becht (Spunk Monkeys) PK 13 J Kasay (West Coast Offense) ************** Week 17 total: 117... Hail to the Dubya? -------------------------------------------- NEXT WEEK's ACTION none. :-( Wang's 2k4 team: ABrooks, LTomlinson, KBarlow, JHorn, KRobinson, DaClark, JWilkins