Rad Fad Lad - Week 8 - October 28, 2003 **** RFL WEEK IN REVIEW **** THE YANKEES LOSE... THUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YANKEES LOSE! If the Yankees lose the World Series to a team with no *real* fans, did the Series actually take place? As a Yankees fan, Commish Wang admits he felt a little sense of loss following the Marlins' 4 games to 2 triumph. But the bottom line was that the loss in the Series merely dulled the joy coming off the ALCS victory over the Sox. We all know the *real* champion was crowned (or should we say a nice chapter was added to the curse) when Aaron Boone hit that 11th inning homer off Wakefield. THANKS TO SHIV Gotta thank young Shivan for writing WIR7 last week - and especially for explaining Vesh's team name to me (FINALLY)! It was inevitable that a hip youngster would be the one to spell out "Dirty Sanchez" to this old fart of a Commish #2. Thanks also to Jillian Barberie for explaining "merkins" to Jay Leno last night. BENCH TEAM! These guys' asses languished on their respective teams' pines last weekend: 15 M Hasselbeck (Manchester United) 11 R Johnson (BoyzInTheChineseHood) 9 M Shipp (The Axis of Evil) 17 I Hilliard (samurai penguins) 8 A Randle El (Angry Starfish) 0 C Lewis (Spunk Monkeys) and J Kleinsasser (Angry Starfish) 0 L Richie (-) 60 points... 14-2 this week, 119-6-3 through 8 weeks. WHO'S GONNA DRIVE YOU HOME... TONIGHT? Highest scoring team: Spunk Monkeys - 51.0 ppg Lowest scoring team: Wet Noodles and The Axis of Evil - 37.1 ppg Toughest defense: Manchester United - 34.4 ppg Softest defense: Chocolate Love - 51.0 ppg League scoring average: 43.1 ppg (up from 42.7 thru last week; last year 47.6) .....on to WIR #8! -------------------------------------------- STANDINGS Pee Wee Herman Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Angry Starfish 4 4 0 3 342 387 L1 The Axis of Evil 3 4 1 3.5 297 382 W2 The Hustlers 3 5 0 4 335 320 L1 Chocolate Love 2 6 0 5 356 408 L2 Rico Suave Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Spunk Monkeys 7 1 0 - 408 313 W1 Big Brown Boys 5 3 0 2 333 316 L2 West Coast Offense 4 3 1 2.5 357 353 W1 BoyzInTheChineseHood 3 5 0 4 358 345 W1 Magnum P I Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Manchester United 6 2 0 1 345 275 W1 Dirty Sanchez 5 3 0 2 357 340 L1 The Belching Brides 4 3 1 2.5 353 329 W3 Wet Noodles 2 5 1 4.5 297 346 L3 Steve Guttenberg Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK samurai penguins 4 4 0 3 359 360 W3 Love Touch 4 4 0 3 333 314 W1 Midget Tossers 3 5 0 4 386 383 L1 Spankin It... 2 4 2 4 302 347 L1 -------------------------------------------- WEEK 8 IN REVIEW **************** ************************** **** GAME OF THE WEEK **** ************************** Midget Tossers 37 (3-5) The Belching Brides 57 (4-3-1) pregame spread: MT by 8 *This* is what Stan had in mind when he drafted Kerry and Tiki to form the foundation of The Belching Brides backfield. Kerry and Tiki's quarter was their highest combined output of the season to date - pushing Drew to the brink of defeat. Who would deliver the death blow for Stan? None other than Itula Mili! In one game, Mili jumped up to #9 in RFL's TE rankings (ahead of the likes of Jolley and Pollard). Mili's 16 pts puts him ahead of 7 RFL teams' TE totals for 8 weeks - and ties him with another team! Chad keeps rollin' along for Stan. Although Drew's trade of BJ for Moulds should prove to improve his team, one must question the strategy of starting a QB, RB and WR from the Bills. The Bills ain't no Rams of 99 or Vikings of 03 or Raiders of 02. Throw in W McGahee as Drew's 4th Bill on the roster. PK Lindell was available for a while, and BUF's TE is still available. Midget Tossers needed more than the 21-15 edge they got at the RB spots - knowing that the 10 pt deficit at the WRs was inevitable (not to mention Mili trouncing Shockey 1-on-1). Stan's PK problem reared its ugly head again. bledsoe 3 thenry 7 jamall 14 muhsin 0 moulds 3 shockey 4 joshb 6 kerry 13 tiki 12 hearst 3 eken'son 3 chadj 10 imili 16 cundiff 0 -------------------------------------------- Angry Starfish 34 (4-4) Boyz In Th Chin Hood 73 (3-5) pregame spread: AS by 1 Why did Wang go out of his way to pick up Rudi Johnson only to leave his ass on the pine? The same source who alerted Wang to C Dillon's fender bender also tricked Wang into thinking that Rudi would be splitting carries with Brandon Bennett. So... figuring that the combination of MarTay Booker's injury, C Chandler taking over for Kordell, and DET's woeful D guaranteed at least 1 TD for Dez, Wang screwed up a roster decision once again. Thankfully for Boyz In The Chin Hood's sake, Mike's Angry Starfish were not up to the task at hand. After Monday Night miracles the last 2 weeks, all Mike needed this Monday Night was to shutout C Chambers - and 47 pts from D Brees and LT. With B Favre taking a much needed day off, backup QB Brees crumbled under the spotlight of MNF like a dry crumb cake left out for 2 days. With Jake Plummer hurt and vINTy back on the Jets bench, Brees apparently wanted to sieze the opportunity to become the most INTed QB in the league. Also not helping Mike's cause was Wang's Maddox not throwing the ball to Mike's Plaxico. brees 4 LT 13 andrej 1 dbennett 2 plaxico 0 bmiller 8 elam 6 maddox 9 sdavis 23 dez 2 rwayne 17 chmbrs 10 heap 3 wilkins 9 -------------------------------------------- Manchester United 54 (6-2) Dirty Sanchez 24 (5-3) pregame spread: MU by 3 Perhaps Vesh *had* to deal Moulds for BJ - considering the other 3 QBs on Vesh's roster this week were vINTy (lost job back to Pennington), Kordell (out on bye) and Kanell (stunk up Denver all the way from Baltimore). T Streets and Troy Brown simply can't get it done as the only WRs on the Dirty Sanchez roster. Even if Vesh didn't have Ahman out on a bye, there was no way they could've hung with Manchester United this week. Clark got all the points he would need this week from the Bulger-to-Hines combination. Edgerrin finally returned to Clark's roster - after 4 weeks off - and ran well. Moe is still clinging to his starting spot in Minny, but getting louder is the pitter patter of M Bennett's and Onterrio's footsteps. Koren is in a bit of a slump for Clark, but the M Ricks call was pretty clutch. This matchup has the feeling of 2 ships headed in different directions. Clark is perhaps recapturing the fine form from his first four weeks of 2k3 - while Vesh might be in for a bunch of losses starting in Week 10. bulge 10 edge 6 moe 5 hiney 17 koren 2 mricks 6 cahney 8 bj 6 duce 2 martian 6 tai 1 troyb 0 sharpe 0 v'teri 9 -------------------------------------------- samurai penguins 65 (4-4) Wet Noodles 44 (2-5-1) pregame spread: sp by 7 JoePa has now won 3 in a row - and is staking claim to a playoff berth. The most impressive aspect of the samurai penguins win was the last-minute changes in JoePa's backfield. With W Green ailing and C Dillon sulking, JoePa made a clean cut and got C Buckhalter and Troy Edwards into the game. The only thing that would have been more impressive would have been getting J Kitna and I Hilliard into the starting lineup. penguins were busting out all over this weekend. Shiv called out E George in WIR 7, and Eddie responded with his best game of the season. But the huge game Shiv expected from Wet Noodle M Harrison never materialized. Ali's hands were somewhat tied in needing to start Q Carter against TB, but perhaps he should've nabbed a free agent QB - instead of picking up Rabih Abdullah to start ahead of K Faulk. Or Ali could have picked up CHI's 3rd string RB (B Forsey) and started him over Rabih (#4 on the CHI d chart). Ali did choose well in nabbing free agent PK G Anderson to fill in for the GB PK. brady 5 b'halter 17 troye 3 tholt 16 smoss 11 mcmike 7 omare 6 quincyc 2 egeorge 17 rabih 0 marvinh 5 rods 1 pollard 7 garya 12 -------------------------------------------- Spunk Monkeys 42 (7-1) Spankin It... 32 (2-4-2) pregame spread: SM by 21 Zach was ripe for a 2nd consecutive loss, but Richard was unable to capitalize. Richard was trailing by 4 heading into Sunday Nitro action - with 2 players going up against 1 of Zach's. When your 2 players are T-Gone and Mort, that should be enough firepower to overtake nearly any other player (and 4 pts). But Zach's 1 player was Priest. Game over. Thanks for playing. See you next year. The Spunk Monkeys WRs are seriously missing more than hitting. If 6 pts per starting WR per week is the cutoff point, Zach has only exceeded that level twice this season - thanks to a 19 from D Jax in Week 2 and a 28 from D Mason in Week 6. Richard had 3 normal starters out on their bye week (W Dunn, Tim Brown and L Coles). It's quite possible those 3 guys could have made up the 10-pt difference in this game over the 6 pts Spankin It... got from Bettis, A Cason and Pathon. Richard made the tough call in starting B Leftwich over D McNabb, but both scored 6 this week anyway. An interesting QB controversy seems to be brewing in Richie Rich land. At least Richard covered the spread in this one. Sidenote: Zach got his 1st TE point of the season! air 6 priest 23 qmorgan 0 dmason 1 djax 5 becht 1 edinger 6 l'wich 6 bus 2 cason 2 TO 3 pathon 2 tonyg 9 mort 8 -------------------------------------------- Chocolate Love 56 (2-6) West Coast Offense 59 (4-3-1) pregame spread: CL by 9 After shockingly coming up short last week in Monday Night Madness, Gary managed to balance his ledger this week. With a 59-51 lead heading in to MNF action, Gary had to sweat out a Ricky Williams appearance in Tempe against the Bolts. 51 yds and a TD was all Ricky needed to help Joebob pull off a clutch come-from-behind dubya. But the Bolts decided that Martyball meant keying on Ricky this week - and Ricky never hit paydirt. Ricky did come close a couple of times, but West Coast Offense managed to hang on to this win. Shiv correctly predicted that T Green and the idiot PK would have nice games for Chocolate Love, but again... with Ricky coming up short of expectations and demands, Joebob was doomed to defeat for a league-leading 6th time. Shiv predicted that Gary would need big numbers from his WRs to have a chance. While J Horn did step up... it was that stealth RB pickup, former LSU stud Domanick Davis, who proved to be the difference in this one. Shiv also noted last week that double-D had the potential to do some damage down the stretch. trentg 11 rickyw 5 arlenh 22 amani 5 boldin 1 fauria 0 v'jagt 12 jaked 2 deuce 6 ddavis 19 jhorn 16 ibruce 4 freddie 1 kasay 11 -------------------------------------------- The Axis of Evil 40 (3-4-1) The Hustlers 37 (3-5) pregame spread: TAoE by 2 Brodz continued his inexplicable surge towards a playoff spot by beating a hard-to-figure Hustlers squad. The Axis of Evil has dropped again to the bottom of the overall scoring list (now tied with Wet Noodles), yet Brodz' strategy of sedating his opponents - by using a new drug he developed while in med school and by tapping into the visiting team locker room's water supply (funny how Brodz is 3-0-1 in home games) - has TAoE firmly on the bubble. Peyton and Shauna came up with a pair of 14s for Brodz. Rookie Tarang doesn't seem to get it. It doesn't matter how many pts L Betts scores... as long as he's in the starting lineup, The Hustlers have averaged a whopping 73 ppg! How many of those 146 pts did Betts score in those 2 games? 1. So why bother benching him just because it's his bye week?!? Tarang's gotta learn that RFL is all about team chemistry. There ain't no reaction when the catalyst is sitting on the pine! Even Joebob remembers that lecture from his BU chemistry daze. peyton 14 shauna 14 bw'brook 1 dn'cutt 1 bshaw 0 dallas 0 mgram 10 jgarcia 11 portis 6 tglenn 1 jsmits 9 keenan 4 conwell 1 elling 5 -------------------------------------------- Love Touch 50 (4-4) Big Brown Boys 30 (5-3) pregame spread: LT by 1 Shiv is beginning to enter Wang's world - where Dallas wins equal BITCH losses, and vice-versa. Shiv called for a G-men win against Cals' Vikes, got that win, but took a Big Brown Boys loss to Cals' Love Touch. Wang doesn't mind being caught between these bizarro worlds as long as one team is 12-2 - and the other is 2-12. But when both teams are 7-7, that's when both worlds suck. Shiv needed a 25 pt game from D Boston on MNF to pull off a magical Monday Night win, but Brees clearly wasn't going to complete a TD pass... so Boston needed 425 receiving yards. D-Bos came up a bit short. The QB position wasn't the problem for the Vickless Brown Boys this week. Shiv's 5 other skill position guys managed a mere 14 pts - 5 less than Cals' R Moss. Throw in a dozen from Love Touch QB Daunte, and Cals has evened his record at 4-4. The 31 Daunte-Moss pts was the most Cals has gotten from the 2 in a single game thus far this season. With concerns at nearly every other starting postion, Cals will need his Vikes duo to maintain this commitment to excellence in order to hold on to a playoff spot. At TE, D Graham's 6 was more than the 5 total TE pts Cals had through 7 weeks. But we all know that Fauria is still the red-zone TE threat for the Pats. c'pep 12 kevan 2 warrick 5 rmoss 19 jreed 3 graham 6 lindell 3 joeyh 10 fredt 3 troyh 1 boston 4 ssmith 5 brady 1 akers 6 -------------------------------------------- WANG'S WEEKLY WARBLE ====== ====== ====== TIPTOE THROUGH THE TULIPS Commish Wang was quite happy to see that numerous GMs made proper corrections to their starting lineups at the last minute on Sunday. Each week, the RFL Week in Review Editorial Staff treads lightly in the Next Week's Action section - trying not to tip off any GMs about any moves they should make due to bye weeks or injuries or whatever. It would be unseemly if the week's lead WIR writer went out of his way to warn the opponent of a main rival about moves that needed to be made. Perhaps we now have 16 GMs who are top of things, and there's no longer any need to worry about accidentally tipping anyone off - and therefore potentially upsetting the upcoming opponent of the tipped off. ************************************************* RFL GM Profiles: ************************************************* RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: Hopefully this section will return next week as the 3 rookie GMs from last season - Drew, Mike and Zach - helm WIR 9. This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR. ******************************************************** SEASON POINTS LEADERS ********************* QB 98 S McNair (Spunk Monkeys) 85 J Garcia (The Hustlers) 79 P Manning (The Axis of Evil) RB 128 P Holmes (Spunk Monkeys) 112 A Green (Dirty Sanchez) 92 J Lewis (Midget Tossers) 88 T Henry (Midget Tossers) 80 S Alexander (The Axis of Evil) 80 S Davis (Boyz In The Chin Hood) WR 91 R Moss (Love Touch) 90 T Holt (samurai penguins) 73 M Harrison (Wet Noodles) 63 C Johnson (The Belching Brides) 63 J Horn (West Coast Offense) 61 H Ward (Manchester United) TE 45 T Gonzalez (Spankin It...) 42 S Sharpe (Dirty Sanchez) 33 R McMichael (samurai penguins) PK 76 M Vanderjagt (Chocolate Love) 70 J Elam (Angry Starfish) 69 J Wilkins (Boyz In The Chin Hood) -------------------------------------------- RFL ALL*STARS ************* QB 14 P Manning (The Axis of Evil) RB 23 P Holmes (Spunk Monkeys) 23 S Davis (Boyz In The Chin Hood) WR 19 R Moss (Love Touch) 17 H Ward (Manchester United) and R Wayne (BITCH) TE 16 I Mili (The Belching Brides) PK 12 G Anderson (Wet Noodles) and M Vanderjagt (Chocolate Love) ************** Week 8 total: 124... Rock me, Amadeus! -------------------------------------------- NEXT WEEK's ACTION **** GAME **** OF **** THE **** WEEK **** Chocolate Love (2-6, 44.5) vs. Boyz In Th Chin Hood (3-5, 44.8) Joebob Edge Wang T Green -> T Maddox R Williams <- S Davis A Harris <- R Wayne A Toomer -- C Chambers A Boldin -- P Price C Fauria -> T Heap M Vanderjagt <- J Wilkins Joebob vs. Wang... there's no mistaking the animosity between these 2 rivals. Contempt, jealousy, mistrust... ingredients (in heaping helpings) that make for a charged atmosphere every time these 2 teams face off on the gridiron. Brown mustard vs. yellow mustard... the debate only gets more heated. It remains to be seen what scrubby QB Joebob picks up for this game. Wang's choice to start will be T Maddox at SEA (as A Brooks will be at TB). Joebob should have a tangible edge at RB and RB/WR. Ricky against Indy head-to-head vs. S Davis at HOU should be close to even, but with A Harris the new stud STL RB... Wang should struggle to matchup with R Wayne at MIA. If Rudi Johnson gets another start in C Dillon's place, Wang might get a little closer. At the WRs, Joebob should have the advantage once again. A Toomer is better than C Chambers and/or P Price. As for Joebob's 2nd WR... If MarTay Booker is healthy, he gets to face lame SD DBs. A Lelie probably won't get the nod with D Kanell handing the ball off to Portis repeatedly. That leaves Anquan. He's mostly been a bust since that Week 1 game against DET. But AZ faces the Bungles this weekend, and J Blake is a decent QB who can get Boldin the ball. Wang should have the edge at TE. Heap outclasses Fauria by far skillz-wize, but Heap keeps getting TD catches overruled via instant replay. Fauria has struggled to produce this season. But you know as soon as Joebob drops him, he'll start scoring TDs again - and never underestimate the benefit of having your TE appear on MNF. Both PKs are quality, but Joebob's has performed a bit better thus far. *** Ricky will be the difference in this one... Brown sugar by 4 *** -------------------------------------------- Other Tilts: The Belching Brides (4-3-1, 44.1) by 8 over Angry Starfish (4-4, 42.8) Stan has been coming on strong of late. Mike has been inconsistent, but lucky. Dirty Sanchez (5-3, 44.6) by 10 over Midget Tossers (3-5, 48.3) Vesh has no WRs, but gets Ahman back. Drew has 4 Bills (3 regular MT starters) out. Manchester United (6-2, 43.1) by 1 over samurai penguins (4-4, 44.9) Clark had been struggling to score for 3 weeks before busting out in Week 8. JoePa has averaged nearly 60 ppg in the last 3 weeks, but T Holt is due to cool off. Wet Noodles (2-5-1, 37.1) by 3 over Spunk Monkeys (7-1, 51.0) Ali will be missing E George. That's not too much slack to pick up. Zach's triplets (Air, Priest, D Mason) are out this week. That's a lot of slack to pick up. West Coast Offense (4-3-1, 44.6) by 5 over The Axis of Evil (3-4-1, 37.1) Gary's got his eye on that water supply. But what about his Raiders coming off their bye? With the re-emergence of Shipp, Brodz' only weak link might now be at WR #2. The Hustlers (3-5, 41.9) by 2 over Big Brown Boys (5-3, 41.6) Both Shiv (66-37) and Tarang (68-37) demolished Joebob previously this season. This game will be for the 2k3 IFEJ (Indians For Equal Justice) Cup. Tarang's pt totals for the last 6 weeks: 17, 16, 78, 27, 68, 37. Shiv over the last 3 weeks: 34, 29, 30. If Tarang gets L Betts into the lineup, he should win. Love Touch (4-4, 41.6) by 11 over Spankin It... (2-4-2, 37.8) Cals' RB situation has become most unsettled again. Richard will be missing 2 key Chiefs.