Recall Foundering Leader Week 4 September 30, 2003 **** RFL WEEK IN REVIEW **** TRADES (a repeat of what Commish Wang posted on yahoo) I didn't know that my trade with Tarang would be posted to everyone. I thought the trade email would go to me (as Commish) only. The official trade rule for RFL is as follows: As soon as 2 of you agree to a trade, email or call the particulars to me. RFL's "trade judges" will then accept or deny the trade within 24 hours. The judges are: Stan, Clark and Wang. In case 1 of the 3 of us is involved in the trade, JoePa is 1st alternate. The 2nd alternate hasn't been needed, but perhaps it would be Vesh? TATUPU SIGHTING!!! Lofa Tatupu, son of our beloved Mosi, is a starting linebacker (#58, MLB, JR) for the Trojans of Southern Cal! This past Saturday he intercepted a Cal Bears pass and took it to the house for six. Unfortunately for USC, the Bears would wind up winning the game. Unfortunately for Lofa, he got hurt in the game. Hopefully the injury wasn't serious - and hopefully we'll see Lofa linebacking for the Pats in 2 years. SHOUT OUTS Gotta recognize Cals' Golden Gophers for hanging on and beating JoePa II's Nittany Lions on Saturday. Who doesn't see that JoePa II is dragging PSU down into the Big Ten (and 1) cellar?!? Another team worthy of recognition is Purdue. Notre Dame already has their own TV deal with NBC. Do they really deserve to have a full "The Season" series devoted to them on ESPN?!? Funny how the show went from 1 hour after the thrashing at the Big House to 30 minutes after the loss to Michigan State. I guess we'll get a 15 minute episode now that the Boilermakers have dropped the Golden Domers to 1-3? The third shout out has to go to FHM magazine for their October issue. Not only does this issue have a preview section on all the new TV shows coming on this fall, and not only does this issue have a section on the 50 most hated TV characters (e.g., 50 - Ross, Friends; 39 - Twiki, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century; 30 - Stuart Scott, SportsCenter; 5 - Jan, The Brady Bunch)... the amazing October issue also features tastefully done photos of 3 very "intriguing" gals (Jenny McCarthy, Lisa Guerrero and Rachael Ray). Nice! BENCH TEAM! These guys' asses languished on their respective teams' pines last weekend: 14 D Carr (Spunk Monkeys) and K Stewart (Dirty Sanchez) 8 L Betts (BITCH), O Smith (Love Touch), D Rhodes (WCO) 9 D Bennett (Angry Starfish) 12 Ti Brown (-) 10 T Streets (Dirty Sanchez) 0 F Jones (West Coast Offense) 0 M Bryant (Spunk Monkeys) 53 points... 14-2 this week, 61-3 through 4 weeks. NOT OPEN TO DEBATE Highest scoring team: Midget Tossers - 54.8 ppg Lowest scoring team: The Hustlers - 31.3 ppg Toughest defense: Manchester United - 30.0 ppg Softest defense: The Axis of Evil - 58.0 ppg League scoring average: 42.4 ppg (up from 41.4 thru last week; last year 47.6) ...on to WIR #4! -------------------------------------------- STANDINGS Cruz Bustamante Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Angry Starfish 2 2 0 2 194 179 L1 Chocolate Love 1 3 0 3 185 189 L1 The Axis of Evil 1 3 0 3 146 232 W1 The Hustlers 1 3 0 3 125 166 L3 Arnold Schwarzenegger Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Spunk Monkeys 4 0 0 - 211 137 W4 Big Brown Boys 3 1 0 1 174 158 W2 BoyzInTheChineseHood 2 2 0 2 171 168 L1 West Coast Offense 1 2 1 2.5 158 185 T1 Arianna Huffington Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Manchester United 4 0 0 - 191 120 W4 Dirty Sanchez 3 1 0 1 171 155 W3 The Belching Brides 1 2 1 2.5 169 170 W1 Wet Noodles 1 2 1 2.5 138 154 T1 Gary Coleman Division Team W L T GB PF PA STK Midget Tossers 2 2 0 2 219 161 L2 Love Touch 2 2 0 2 166 178 W1 -nameless- 1 2 1 2.5 153 175 L2 samurai penguins 1 3 0 3 141 185 L2 -------------------------------------------- WEEK 4 IN REVIEW **************** ************************** **** GAME OF THE WEEK **** ************************** West Coast Offense 51 (1-2-1) Wet Noodles 51 (1-2-1) pregame spread: WCO by 5 In what was billed to be a scrubby GOTW matchup, Gary and Ali stepped up and provided a contest most worthy of the GOTW spotlight. Gary's Raiders finally got untracked - as Gannon, Jolley and Seabass tallied 34 pts in the OT thriller against the Chargers. [We wonder if Mike and Zach watched that game together.] Deuce also got loose for a dozen in Sunday Nitro action. But a mere nickel from Gary's 3 WR set left the door open for Ali's Wet Noodles to upset West Coast Offense. During the day on Sunday, most of the Noodles were quite limp - as Ramsey, E George, Emmitt and Rod totaled a paltry baker's dozen. But then on Sunday Night, M Harrison exploded for 27 - while Marvcus Pollard chipped in a trey. Ali was then down 8 heading into some bona fide GOTW Monday Night Madness. With the GB PK going up against the woeful Bears, Ali had to hope that GB would mix in some FGs with all the TDs that'd be there for the taking. GB did quickly put up 24 (6 for the PK) on the Bears. All Ali then needed was a FG, and GB did seem to be positioning themselves for Ali's game-winning FG once or twice... but ended up scoring 2 more TDs instead. The end result... some sister spit swapping. gannon 15 deuce 12 easyed 0 horn 2 ibruce 3 jolley 9 j-kow 10 pramsey 2 egeorge 1 emmitt 7 marvinh 27 rods 3 pollard 3 l'well 8 -------------------------------------------- Boyz In Th Chin Hood 37 (2-2) Spunk Monkeys 45 (4-0) pregame spread: BITCH by 2 Bookies all over RFL-land had no idea why Guest WIR Editor JoePa installed BITCH as a 2-pt fave in this game. Heavy cash came in on the Spunk Monkeys side - and rightfully so. Sure, M Faulk has been a huge disappointment for Wang. But to lose him to injury and be forced to start K Campbell for a 2nd consecutive week? That's not a good sign. The underbelly of the RFL universe exerted as much influence as possible on the refs to try to force a BITCH cover - including a ref calling Priest down on the 1 inch line (when Priest clearly should have been awarded the 6). In the end, Zach needed merely 4 pts from the CHI PK to complete a MNF come-from-behind triumph. Sure enough... Zach got 2 CHI FGs in the 1st half. Wang's D was able to contain Priest, but McNair and Q Morgan picked up the slack. Zach continues to win despite holes at TE, RB/WR and DMason. And the bookies took a serious beating in this one. maddox 6 sdavis 17 kellyc 0 rice 6 rwayne 1 heap 2 elling 5 air 12 priest 5 tjduck 6 dmason 0 quincy 11 teyo 0 edinger 11 -------------------------------------------- The Belching Brides 52 (1-2-1) samurai penguins 35 (1-3) pregame spread: TBB by 3 Stan got his first win of the season - thanks to outstanding performances from Kitna, C Garner and Chad Johnson. Kitna filled in quite well for K Collins - could a QB controversy be brewing in Austin? The big question in the Republic of Texas is, "Why did Stan drop Frerotte for Kitna just before game time?" In Tiki's spot, G Hearst did just well enough. If only Stan could figure out the PK thing, The Belching Brides could start a surge towards a playoff spot. JoePa was let down by his RBs once again. 28 pts in 8 CDillon/WGreen starts? At picks #16 and #17 in the draft, that 28 should be much more like an 82. T Holt was seen on the penguins sideline chewing out his offensive coordinator. He was overheard strongly recommending a pass-run ratio of 100:0. Holt was also quoted as saying, "there's no 'we' in team." JoePa responded by benching Holt for next week's game. kitna 13 hearst 4 cgarner 10 chadj 15 donte 1 booba 8 op'man 1 brady 11 dillon 1 wgreen 3 holt 13 smoss 3 becht 0 stover 4 -------------------------------------------- Dirty Sanchez 47 (3-1) - 39 (1-2-1) pregame spread: DS by 10 Vesh was down 14 (39-25) heading into Monday Night Madness action in this contest. With Ahman the only Dirty Sanchez on tap to try to climb that 14-pt mountain, most experts figured that Vesh would come up a couple points short. But for those who knew that Urlacher's attention was more focused on Paris rather than Ahman, a Dirty Sanchez come-from-behind dubya was correctly pegged a mere formality. Sharpe (re-establishing himself as the premier RFL TE) scored 10 to complement Ahman's Emmitt nicely. One of JoePa's pregame keys correctly identified that TO was due to make some noise. TO did indeed fulfill his part of this bargain by animatedly point out to the Niners' O coordinator that the don't-throw-it-to-TO playcalling was costing him millions on his upcoming Falcons contract. blake 1 ahman 22 kfaulk 0 moulds 6 trbrown 3 sharpe 10 v'teri 5 mcnabb 5 dunn 1 pathon 8 TO 3 coles 3 tonyg 6 wilkins 13 -------------------------------------------- Manchester United 46 (4-0) The Hustlers 16 (1-3) pregame spread: MU by 7 Hooo-weee... using generally-accepting (old-time) RFL accounting standards, Tarang's Hustlers would have been held to 3 total pts (from the PK). And those 3 Feely pts came when Dan Reeves inexplicably kicked a late FG - when he should have gone for a TD to cut into that 20-pt Carolina lead. None of The Hustlers' starters scored a TD - and none of them came close to the old-school yardage levels (300-100). When Ernie is your top scorer, there's gonna be booing in the City of Brotherly Love. Clark's Man U side continued their impressive string of victories as the Red Devils have scored between 46 and 51 goals in each match this season. That sort of consistency will have you contending seriously for the Steamroller - which would be the 2nd consecutive for Clark. No Hasselbeck or Koren? No problem for Clark - as subs Bulger and Galloway scored all the goals Clark would need. bulge 17 moe 2 amos 11 heinz 4 joeyg 5 kyleb 0 cahney 7 garcia 3 ogary 2 mand'son 2 pprice 1 tglenn 0 conwell 5 feely 3 -------------------------------------------- Midget Tossers 48 (2-2) Love Touch 62 (2-2) pregame spread: MT by 6 Drew's Midget Tossers fought hard to try to come back from last week's devastating loss to Shiv, but came up just short against Cals' Love Touch. Backfield production has not been a problem for Drew - as Bledsoe, J Lewis and T Henry (and L Gordon in for Henry) have been rock-solid. It's the WRs who are hurting Drew. C Conway has 10 pts in 4 starts - while Muhsin, Thrash and Kennison have combined for 19 pts at the other WR spot. How did Cals know to start The Snake over Culpepper? The word on the street was that Culpepper would gut it out against the Niners. Stan even dropped Frerotte in a tip of the cap to the sturdy Daunte. But crafty, sage Cals knew better. And thanks to that Culpepper-Plummer decision, Love Touch was able to even their record at 2-2 before A Train piled on a surprising 12 on MNF. Of course, R Moss' 28 helped quite a bit. In the head-to-head RMoss-TO matchup, the Vikes' Moss stepped up - while TO bitched and pouted. drewb 14 lgordon 10 jlewis 14 conway 1 muhsin 1 weaver 1 jreed 7 jake 13 kevan 4 atrain 12 rmoss 28 warrick 2 riemrsma 2 lindell 1 -------------------------------------------- Angry Starfish 50 (2-2) Big Brown Boys 57 (3-1) pregame spread: AS by 9 Mike was down 19 (57-38) heading into his bout of Monday Night Madness. But unlike Vesh, Zach and (to a lesser extent) Ali... Mike was not able to get the job done. If P Manning can score 24 on NO, surely Favre could do the same to the hibernating Bears, right? But no... Favre only managed to come up with 12. Tomlinson (3, 6, 15, 21 pts in Weeks 1 to 4) has gotten better week to week. But when Angry Starfish don't have a WR score in double digits, they lose. Shiv's Big Brown Boys are doing a fantastic job of holding down the fort while Vick rehabs for a 2nd half run at the Ags Bowl. The alarming word on the street now is that Vick might not come back as hard if the Falcons are virtually eliminated from postseason consideration. In this game, Shiv got a nice Harrington-Rogers hookup, solid production from F Taylor and T Hambrick, and 2 straight digits from the PK. If Vick does come back strong, Shiv is a man-to-man talk with D Boston away from being a Steamroller and Ags Bowl favorite. favre 12 LT 21 andrej 5 plaxico 3 rgardner 1 miller 0 elam 8 joeyh 8 fredt 10 troyh 13 crogers 9 chrebet 2 alge 4 akers 11 -------------------------------------------- Chocolate Love 42 (1-3) The Axis of Evil 51 (1-3) pregame spread: CL by 5 Something smells in Scandanavia. In the 2 weeks since Stan and Brodz were singled out as standards of RFL GM excellence... Stan loses a game when he forgot to have a PK on his team, and now Brodz leaves a RB and PK in the starting lineup who are out on byes. California recall election-registered Democrat Larry Flynt (the Hustler guy) blocked for S Mack in The Axis of Evil's backfield this week - while Republican recall-certified Michael Jackson failed on all PAT and FG attempts. But despite Brodz' mental lapses, he was able to win this matchup (an upset that JoePa saw coming) of 2 of The Original Three GMs thanks to a virtuoso Sunday Nitro performance by the other Manning. Brodz also made good calls in picking up Dallas C and getting B Shaw into the lineup. Joebob was unable to prevent Brodz from getting his first win - as Chocolate Love's Ricky Williams-less backfield was essentially shut down. Trung's not even coming close to getting a whiff of paydirt. And Montgomery Burns bought a 3-spot for Joebob. Lelie seems to be blossoming into an every week starter - giving Joebob a total of 4 RFL start-worthy players on the roster (RWilliams, Toomer, Lelie and Vanderjagt). tgreen 6 trung 4 burns 3 lelie 10 anquan 5 fauria 1 v'jagt 13 peyton 24 Flynt X smack 8 ddriver 2 bshaw 11 dallas 6 Jacko X -------------------------------------------- WANG'S WEEKLY WARBLE ====== ====== ====== This is truly a wonderful country we live in. More specifically... California is quite the wonderful state to live in. I guess there are something like 11 other states where the Governor can be recalled, but what other state would actually go through with something as ridiculous as this? Now, the RFL WIR isn't the place for serious political commentary... but this whole recall thing is most lampoon-worthy. We elect a governor last year (in an election that wasn't even close), a state politician with deep pockets decides to exploit this recall loophole (at least most of the other states that have the recall option require that there be some specific wrongdoing on the targeted governor's part), we apparently have roughly 6% of the state's population sign the recall petition (how do they verify those signatures?), and then the recall is on! 135 people then pay the minimal fee and get the minimal number of petition signatures to become eligible candidates to govern this golden state! Among the 135 are legitimate politicians, film stars (of the action and porn varieties), a porn magazine publisher, a washed-up comedian who mashes watermelons with a sledgehammer, and a former child TV star-turned-mall security agent ("wah-choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?). And so on October 7 a tiny fraction of Californians will make their way to the polling places to seemingly oust a governor (with much fewer ousting votes than he received to get elected in the first place) - and apparently vote in a replacement governor with no personal credentials to run this state. Maybe mixing/shaking things up every once in a while is a good thing. Hopefully, things will work out for the best. ************************************************* RFL GM Profiles: David Wang, Boyz In The Chinese Hood ************************************************* After 9 years at the helm, League Founder Cals decided to step down from the Commissioner's throne. After more qualified candidates took themselves out of the running, David Wang was the only candidate left standing. Wang is now in his 5th year as Commissioner #2 of RFL. In those 5 years, RFL gotten its own website (thewanger.com/rfl), yardage bonus point levels came down incrementally, and #2i helped transition RFL to yahoo while #2 was exiled to England. RFL Week in Review Editing Staff: Commish Wang, you have become more and more "testy" over the past few years - calling out Ali and Richard recently, being short with Stan about his tie, always being quick to dismiss any suggestion from Joebob or Vesh, attempting to railroad Cals' recommended rule change, naming Shiv as the deadbeat of the year, the demerit system proposal, ...the list goes on and on. Is it time for you to step down as Commish? David Wang: Believe me... I would prefer not to have to be so testy. People who really know me know that I am a total softie - to a fault. But I have sensed a little too much apathy creeping into RFL over the past few years. I have felt the need for a little shock therapy here and there. Cals created a wonderful thing. I feel the need to do everything I can - within the "Spirit of RFL" - to make sure RFL continues to be a wonderful thing. RFL: Most GMs seem to want RFL to cut back from 16 GMs to 14. Why haven't you listened to the masses? DW: It's true that in the past I fought hard to keep membership up at 16. But for this season, had another GM joined Brad in dropping off... I would have allowed the League to drop to 14 GMs. But when I think about the 4 GMs we've brought in the last 2 years (Drew, Mike, Tarang, Zach), I can't help but think that RFL is headed in a positive direction. RFL: You joined RFL in 1994. In 9+ seasons, you've won only 1 Aglione Bowl and 1 Steamroller. In the last season + 4 weeks, you're a mediocre 10-10-1. What's up? DW: I thought that my advantage would be with more GMs - which means added importance to picking the right guys later in the draft. But of late, my feeling is that the previous succes I had was more about luck. By cutting back to 14 GMs, there'd be better free agents available - and maybe I'd have an edge in cycling through free agents more wisely than the next guy. RFL: Your beloved Cowboys are now 2-1 after back-to-back wins in NJ. Will they make the playoffs this year? DW: I actually hope not. Ideally they would go 6-10 (the 6 wins coming over the Giants, Eagles and Redskins), they'd get a good position in the draft, they'd add some key talent over the offseason, they'd get a last-place schedule for '04, and then they'd do some serious damage next year. RFL: Your beloved Ole Miss Rebels are stinking up the joint - with losses to Memphis and Texas Tech despite having preseason All-American QB Eli Manning playing nearly up to his expectations. What gives? DW: When it comes to college football, the only reality is the Heisman level Dynasty running on my PS2. Ole Miss went 11-2 this year - with a win over Michigan in the Capital One Bowl. The Rebels are 9-0 so far next year. And with my ability to recruit in Florida and Texas, a true dynasty is in the making. RFL: When you walked away from Sony on March 31, you were supposed to buy some company in Austin. That Austin thing then apparently fell through, and you started talking about all sorts of business ideas. What's going on now? DW: A business partner and I just formed a Delaware LLC last week to run a Kindermusik school in Morgan Hill, CA. I've been interviewing teachers and scouting locations lately. Our first session should begin this December or January. I found a teacher I like a lot, but she wants $50 an hour. I budgeted significantly less than that for my teachers. Joebob, I've got a spot reserved for your kid already. Mike, Zach, Clark, Ali, Cals and Drew... it's time for you guys to start reproducing! This has been an RFL interview. The rights to all proceeds made from this interview belong to the RFL WIR and exclusively to the RFL WIR. ******************************************************** SEASON POINTS LEADERS ********************* QB 44 P Manning (The Axis of Evil) 40 S McNair (Spunk Monkeys) 39 D Culpepper (Love Touch) RB 72 P Holmes (Spunk Monkeys) 66 J Lewis (Midget Tossers) 60 A Green (Dirty Sanchez) 45 L Tomlinson (Angry Starfish) 43 R Williams (Chocolate Love) 38 T Henry (Midget Tossers) WR 48 R Moss (Love Touch) 39 M Harrison (Wet Noodles) 38 T Holt (samurai penguins) 37 H Ward (Manchester United) 37 C Johnson (The Belching Brides) 32 C Chambers (BoyzInTheChineseHood) 32 L Coles (-) TE 26 S Sharpe (Dirty Sanchez) 25 A Crumpler (Big Brown Boys) 15 T Heap (BoyzInTheChineseHood) PK 48 M Vanderjagt (Chocolate Love) 40 J Elam (Angry Starfish) 40 J Wilkins (-nameless-) -------------------------------------------- RFL ALL*STARS ************* QB 24 P Manning (The Axis of Evil) RB 22 A Green (Dirty Sanchez) 21 L Tomlinson (Angry Starfish) WR 28 R Moss (Love Touch) 27 M Harrison (Wet Noodles) TE 10 S Sharpe (Dirty Sanchez) PK 13 M Vanderjagt (Chocolate Love) and J Wilkins (-) ************** Week 4 total: 145... a landslide -------------------------------------------- NEXT WEEK's ACTION **** GAME **** OF **** THE **** WEEK **** Dirty Sanchez (3-1, 42.8) vs. samurai penguins (1-3, 35.3) Vesh Edge JoePa K Stewart -> T Brady A Green <- W Green T Streets <- M Alstott E Moulds <- I Hilliard Tr Brown -- T Edwards S Sharpe <- R McMichael A Vinatieri -- O Mare We still stand by our assertion that Vesh is hurting at QB (Blake-now-vINTy and Kordell). But the re-emergence of S Sharpe has masked the QB deficit to a large extent. Also helping Dirty Sanchez has been the re-birth of Ahman. JoePa's struggles at RB have been well-chronicled. It won't help this week if C Dillon can't go. Alstott is capable of scoring a TD or 2, but will he do so on MNF against his former head coach? Even though Brady is facing TEN, we give him the nod over Kordell against an unimpressive OAK D. Vesh should have a big advantage at RB and RB/WR with Ahman and T Streets (vs DET) going up against samurai penguins W Green and Alstott. Dirty Sanchez also gets a bit of an edge at WR with Moulds and the underwhelming Troy Brown. After benching T Holt, JoePa turns to Troy Edwards (landing on the penguins after getting dropped by PIT and STL). Ike will be hard-pressed to produce against MIA. The resurgent Sharpe should provide yet another edge to Vesh at TE. **** Has the game passed JoePa by? Vesh by 9 **** -------------------------------------------- Other Tilts: Boyz In Th Chin Hood (2-2, 42.8) by 4 over Wet Noodles (1-2-1, 34.5) Wang will be missing his stud TE, and SDavis is due not to score a TD. Ali can't expect another 27 from Harrison, but RodS is due for a TD. Spunk Monkeys (4-0, 52.8) by 3 over The Belching Brides (1-2-1, 42.3) Priest should bounce back big-time for Zach. Stan gets his G-men back for what could prove to be a must-win affair. Manchester United (4-0, 47.8) by 10 over West Coast Offense (1-2-1, 39.5) Clark has his club running more consistently and better than any other. Gary needs more pts from his WRs than they are prepared to get. Midget Tossers (2-2, 54.8) by 5 over The Hustlers (1-3, 31.3) Drew will be missing quite a few starters in this one. Tarang should be able to make this a close one, but won't have quite enough. Love Touch (2-2, 41.5) by 2 over Angry Starfish (2-2, 48.5) Cals might need the Snake to fill in to Daunte once more. Mike's passing game will be the key to this one. Chocolate Love (1-3, 46.3) by 11 over Big Brown Boys (3-1, 43.5) Joebob's team at full-strength should score in the 50s. Shiv's team has the look of coming up short of 40. -nameless- (1-2-1, 38.3) by 1 over The Axis of Evil (1-3, 36.5) Brodz gets Shaun Alexander and M Gramatica back, but the grass looks greener on the other side.